Hi, it’s Greenygrey, with the penultimate chapter of the tremendous travel-tale set in the real Victoria, Australia town of Kerang and the rock and metal magazine Kerrang. This chapter is dedicated to the dark lord comic book persona of Ozzy Osbourne, who we weren’t too keen on when he was biting animals’ heads off, but overall he seems a nice character, and a heavy metal legend who has enjoyed renewed success with Black Sabbath this year.
Denise van Outen and Elle McPherson
This chapter also sees Elle come into her own, with some great body action to trip Ozzy up. It reminded us of Denise van Outen, whom we have admired since her days on the Big Breakfast with Johnny Vaughan in the 1990s, which is of course one of the decades of this Kerang-Kerrang travel tale.
Denise has been accused of playing the media celebrity game lately, but Wolf Whitzer hasn’t received any evidence of this from his news sources, so we’re keeping an open mind, and concentrating on her keeping in great shape and admirably showing off her fine legs amongst this stylish greenygreyish outfit.
Yep, we think she could play the Elle part if the Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps ever makes it to the movie screen. Here’s the Ozzy and Elle comedy satire love story:
Chapter 92. Ozzy Osbourne’s Blizzard of Ozz
As we emerged out of the Whiskey a Go-Go I saw a cloaked figure acting suspiciously in the shadows. The next thing, it was barking at the moon, and I became more than a tad worried. Was it some kind of lone-human werewolf?
Ozzy Osbourne’s Blizzard of Ozz
Less than a minute later I felt a chilly wind on my back as a blizzard blew up out of nowhere. The shadowy figure shouted that Oz was no place for a dog, and he was going to take it to Ozz, which had 33.33% more room because of the extra z.
I realised it was the 1980s Ozzy Osbourne. With his reputation for biting the heads off creatures I thought Angry’s dog might be in great peril.
Elle Uses Her Body to Great Effect
My concern seemed justified when Ozzy sprang out of the shadows singing Steal Away (The Night). Angry was still buzzing from his performance and seemed oblivious to Ozzy’s overshadowing omnipotent obtrusiveness.
Ozzy looked certain to reach Angry’s dog and snatch it away to a cold dog’s life in Blizzardy Ozz, until Elle stuck out a leg and tripped him up. A Crazy Train was passing through town on the way to the 1990s, and Elle quickly threw Ozzy on board. I thought it was a great use of her body.
Ozzy seemed impressed as well, and shouted to Elle that it wasn’t too late to join him. Elle responded with a ‘No thanks!’ This prompted Ozzy to sing Goodbye to Romance. I felt sorry for him then, but he seemed to have recovered before disappearing from earshot, as the last thing I heard him sing was, No More Tears.
Ozzy Osbourne and solo band name/album, songs: Blizzard of Ozz, Steal Away (The Night), Crazy Train, Goodbye to Romance, No More Tears.