Hi, it’s Wachel Wiley-Coyote, numbers expert at the Greenygrey and Countdown to the Full Moon. It’s women and feminism week at the Greenygrey, and I think there’s few better examples of female role models who’ve struggled through juvenile adversity to legendary status than Debbie Harry of Blondie.
I think I can relate a little to Debbie Harry after my human parallel Rachel Riley was criticised for her short skirts early in her Countdown career.
Tough Childhood to Blondie Success
Debbie Harry was adopted. After graduating college with an Arts degree she struggled through her early singing career with jobs ranging from a BBC Radio secretary to a Playboy Bunny.
After singing in a few bands she found success with Blondie, fronting a band completed with four male musicians. Debbie was of course considered the leader and main focal point of the band.
Harry mixed a cool singing persona with punk fashion and dancing to capture the attention and admiration of both men and women.
Blondie never regained their late 1970s heyday, but have continued to record and tour, and have had several successful records in recent years.
Debbie Harry continues to be an icon for the late 1970s generation, symbolising that time of exciting punk and new wave musical acts. And now she is an example of leading a good and successful life after overcoming early adversity.
I wonder if the late-1970s men generation would like and love women as much today without Debbie Harry?
Hi, it’s Susie Dentinfang, word expert at the Greenygrey and Countdown to the Full Moon. When I agreed to this gig at the Greenygrey some werewolves thought it was beneath me, and that I’d lower perceptions of my kind, but I noticed last week that my human parallel, Susie Dent, was having a whale of a time on 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown, and was even serenaded by some bloke called Nick Helm.
While I’m happy working for the Greenygrey, and think Werewolf of Oz is positive towards women, I thought it’d be only fair to get the views of a more militant female about today’s episode. So I contacted Millicent ‘Millie’ Buckridge Tant of Viz fame, and asked her what she thought. She was horrified.
She said it was awful that the two main women of the story, Cathy and Elle, were stereotypically doing the cooking in the first paragraph.
I pointed out that male Angry was building a snowman at the time, which was a more useless role really, and that unisex Grey unthinkingly joined him instead of helping with the cooking. Moreover, Cathy later knows where they are more than anyone.
Millie shouted it should have been a snow-woman anyway, and said she was going to organise a Werewolf of Oz boycott before slamming the phone down.
Werewolf of Oz Introduction
Anyway, here’s the episode with the controversial first paragraph uncensored and uncut for you to decide.
It sees the travellers having escaped Kerang-Kerrang to New South Wales, the penultimate state of their epic fantasy travel comedy satire quest; and a guest appearance by the one and many Perishers.
I awoke adrift in a snow drift. As I came to terms with my consciousness, and remembered the events in Kerang-Kerrang, I could see there were awesome peaks all around us. Climbing clear of the hole I’d made for myself, I saw Cathy and Elle were kindling a fire, while Angry was building a snowman.
I helped Angry finish off the snowman, and then we joined Cathy and Elle as they cooked up some wild vegetable broth.
I asked if anybody knew where we were. Cathy said it was the Perisher Valley, in the Snowy Mountains of New South Wales. We had crossed over the state border during the dream.
Perishers Peruse our Parky Party
I had just about absorbed Cathy’s geographical information, when some interesting characters wandered out of the nearby forest pushing a pram and pulling a wooden buggy. They were heading our way.
I said howdy when they got within earshot, and asked where they were heading.
The one pulling a buggy said they were on their annual holiday from the Daily Mirror’s Perishers cartoon, and were making their way home to Crunge after getting ejected from the train again.
He introduced himself as Wellington, and the other humans as Maisie, Marlon and Baby Grumpling. The Old English Sheepdog was called Boot.
Perishers Save Us from Perish the Thought
Elle asked them if they’d seen any dead wood on their travels, as we were running out, and there might not be enough to finish cooking our food. Marlon said they hadn’t, but he offered us his buggy, saying it wasn’t one of his most genius contraptions, and hadn’t been much use in the snow.
We were overwhelmed by his generosity, and thanked him profusely before quickly dismantling it and heaping it on our bush telly.
The Perishers story and characters explained within the narrative. Marlon was known for his genius contraptions.
Hi, it’s Grey Greyvara, social conscience at the Greenygrey, listening to Nirvana’sNevermind on a Seattlish weather Monday morning in Blighty after an L.A.ish weather weekend. As regular readers will know, the Greenygrey was formed with a www ethos: wolves, women and working-class; inspired by a mixture of animal welfare, humanitarianism, environmentalism and socialism.
And because it’s done seriously elsewhere in the media, we try to add a little comedy to it. In this respect, the y of comedy is the y linking opposing arguments in the Greenygrey; or the different kinds of feminist movements.
I think that while the Victorian-style feminists could be classed as the grey, the nude n’ proud feminists would be the green.
Ethical-Hefnerist Feminism for Men
Most men like women; unless or until they have a very bad experience with them, and vice-versa; but wouldn’t think of themselves as feminists because it conjures up images of men-hating radicals.
Perhaps the best example of a woman-loving man is Hugh Hefner, who lives with dozens of beautiful women in the Playboy Mansion. Which we’ve just noticed in the accompanying photo can look greenygrey great!
Liberating the Playboy Mansion Chicks
While nobody forces the women to live there, and it’s a dream for many women who apply to live and work there, the mansion does seem a little like a workplace.
We might be ending our hopes of an invite to the Playboy Mansion, but we believe in wilderness freedom, so as the social conscience of the Greenygrey I believe the chicks should be more free-range.
We also don’t believe in unnecessary cosmetic surgery, so believe the Playboy Mansion should be more organic.
Lads Mags Sexy Humour and Feminist Talibannies
As we campaigned against the grooming, raping and prostituting of poor and vulnerable girls for ten years while ‘militant feminists’ in the U.K. kept quiet about it (apart from Ann Cryer if she counts as a militant feminist?), or even tried to keep it quiet and censored as part of the fascist ‘Unite Against Fascism’ we think a little politically incorrect humour should be okay.
But the militant feminist movement seems to have woken up now, with lads mags and glamour models the easy traditional target. While some feminist movements, like Ukraine’s Femen, believe women should have the right to show their bodies any way they want, the British feminist movement seems allied with the Taliban in wanting women covered up.
Although Guns N’ Roses are no longer together, and Axl and Slash no longer nice boys to each other, they still remember Rose Tattoo’s influence on their music, and both jammed Nice Boys with Angry and Rose Tattoo on recent tours:
Hi, it’s Greenygrey. Here’s the last episode of the Kerang-Kerrang time-travel tale that has been keeping you on the edge of your seats all week. This episode focuses on Prog Rock, from the cool Pink Floyd to the a little over the top for my liking Yes and ELP.
We hope you liked this tale within a tale, and will continue travelling with us for the rest of the journey, which only has about fifty chapters to go now.
Chapter 93. Prog Rock Helps Travellers to a Good Spirit Sleep
I heard a voice announce there would be another Crazy Train in an hour. Although I was ready to leave Kerang-Kerrang I didn’t really fancy that, so I asked the others if they had any ideas about how to move on with our minds intact.
Cathy Gets into the Spirit of it
Cathy said she thought she could feel the Wemba-Wemba spirit in the area, and if she could get a deeper contact she might be able to find a dream path.
I thought for a minute or three,
awaiting a perfect eddy,
to make me look brainy.
I was still paddling the surf,
with the sea much to rough,
when Cathy said Prog Rock was enough.
I’d heard before it is the ultimate unwind,
so I left the stormy waters of my mind behind,
and agreed with Cathy on what to find.
Pink Floyd too Exciting for a Good Sleep
So off we rambled to find Prog Rock. It turned out to be easier than I thought, as a pig was flying above. A long Wall extended from Prog Rock to the Dark Side of the Moon, and herds of Animals seemed to be using it as a bridge between the two.
I suggested continuing to the ELPYesendless Lea suburb; because from what I knew, it was constructed for comfort and rolled on forever. It sounded perfect for inducing a good sleep.
Sound Spirit Sleep
So, under an ELP Black Moon on Love Beach we took our places In the Hot Seat. And Yes, Close to the Edge, holding hands in Union, we swept into slept until we could Fly From Here. It was like no other flight I’d experienced.
Prog(ressive) Rock is a complex form of music usually involving long instrument-orientated songs.
Wemba-Wemba is an aborigine group of people.
Pink Floyd albums: Wall, Dark Side of the Moon, Animals. Pink Floyd had a flying inflatable pig in their stage show.
ELP (Emerson, Lake and Palmer) and albums: Black Moon, Love Beach, In the Hot Seat.
Yes and albums: Close to the Edge, Union, Fly From Here.
Hi, it’s Greenygrey, with the penultimate chapter of the tremendous travel-tale set in the real Victoria, Australia town of Kerang and the rock and metal magazine Kerrang. This chapter is dedicated to the dark lord comic book persona of Ozzy Osbourne, who we weren’t too keen on when he was biting animals’ heads off, but overall he seems a nice character, and a heavy metal legend who has enjoyed renewed success with Black Sabbath this year.
Denise van Outen and Elle McPherson
This chapter also sees Elle come into her own, with some great body action to trip Ozzy up. It reminded us of Denise van Outen, whom we have admired since her days on the Big Breakfast with Johnny Vaughan in the 1990s, which is of course one of the decades of this Kerang-Kerrang travel tale.
Denise has been accused of playing the media celebrity game lately, but Wolf Whitzer hasn’t received any evidence of this from his news sources, so we’re keeping an open mind, and concentrating on her keeping in great shape and admirably showing off her fine legs amongst this stylish greenygreyish outfit.
As we emerged out of the Whiskey a Go-Go I saw a cloaked figure acting suspiciously in the shadows. The next thing, it was barking at the moon, and I became more than a tad worried. Was it some kind of lone-human werewolf?
Ozzy Osbourne’s Blizzard of Ozz
Less than a minute later I felt a chilly wind on my back as a blizzard blew up out of nowhere. The shadowy figure shouted that Oz was no place for a dog, and he was going to take it to Ozz, which had 33.33% more room because of the extra z.
I realised it was the 1980s Ozzy Osbourne. With his reputation for biting the heads off creatures I thought Angry’s dog might be in great peril.
Elle Uses Her Body to Great Effect
My concern seemed justified when Ozzy sprang out of the shadows singing Steal Away (The Night). Angry was still buzzing from his performance and seemed oblivious to Ozzy’s overshadowing omnipotent obtrusiveness.
Ozzy looked certain to reach Angry’s dog and snatch it away to a cold dog’s life in Blizzardy Ozz, until Elle stuck out a leg and tripped him up. A Crazy Train was passing through town on the way to the 1990s, and Elle quickly threw Ozzy on board. I thought it was a great use of her body.
Ozzy seemed impressed as well, and shouted to Elle that it wasn’t too late to join him. Elle responded with a ‘No thanks!’ This prompted Ozzy to sing Goodbye to Romance. I felt sorry for him then, but he seemed to have recovered before disappearing from earshot, as the last thing I heard him sing was, No More Tears.
Ozzy Osbourne and solo band name/album, songs: Blizzard of Ozz, Steal Away (The Night), Crazy Train, Goodbye to Romance, No More Tears.
Hi, it’s Greenygrey. You might have thought the thrilling time-travel tale in Kerang-Kerrang was all over after the Alician ending told in yesterday’s blog, but like in many a good tale told in books and movies, it’s not quite the end of the tale.
Nope, before the Werewolf of Ozzers can continue eating up the miles on their epic Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps journey there’s the not so small matter of getting Angry to the Whiskey-a-Go-Go in time to save trash metal; set up in Chapter 84. Meanwhile, Angry finds a puppy that becomes relevant in a later Perishers-themed chapter; that storyline was inspired by the photo that is used again below.
Wham, bam, werewolf comedy slam, here we go to the Oz 1960s-1990s time travel town:
We turned the corner of the Temple of the Dog, just as the spirit of Andrew Wood Thru Fade Away with a Gentle Groove. We could see no sign of the Grunginator, just a Man In The Box.
Remembering Angry’s Appearance at the Whiskey a Go-Go
I was feeling drained, plum knackered in fact, so I lay down on the temple steps. I was about to drop off, when I heard Dizzy exclaim:
‘I’m waking you up
before to sleep you go-go,
there’s no time to rest
so Wham is a necessary pest,
Angry was supposed to be on floor
of the Whiskey a Go-Go
over an hour ago.’
It had completely slipped my mind, and seemed Rock of Ages since I’d seen the Whiskey a Go-Go poster advertising Angry’s appearance.
Rushing Angry to the Whiskey a Go-Go
We rushed back to the 1980s, and arrived at the Whiskey a Go-Go in next to no-no time, pronto.
The crowd roared raucously as Angry took to the stage. The show went brilliantly, and Angry surprised us all at the end when he magicked a puppy out of his boot, telling the crowd it was a gift from the Temple of the Dog. I didn’t see Angry receive it; maybe I did drop off before Dizzy’s wake-up call.
Angry left the stage to resounding cheers, surely having fulfilled his destiny to inspire the LA metallers.
It had been hard work, and downright dangerous at times, but it was rewarding to think we’d played a small part in saving trash metal.