I’ve made my old book (2012) that light-heartedly twists the Wizard of Oz theme into one of good pagans and bad monotheists; inspired by the Homes Children historic child abuse being uncovered by Margaret Humphreys (told in the Oranges and Sunshine book and film, starring Emily Watson; as well as ‘nice’ movies like Crocodile Dundee and Australia) and the industrial scale street grooming (much of it targeting Homes Children) largely uncovered at the time. It has a veggie werewolf hero and lots of anthropomorphic characters travelling Australia; and a body, mind and spirit theme replacing heart, brain and courage; free on Smashwords (need a free account) as part of their coronavirus Authors Give Back promotion. You can use the code on the site or CR86V.
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/325567
Category Archives: a certain Greenygrey3
Third of a comedy poetry prose fantasy travel by Google Maps trilogy.
X Files Returns: Writer Mind Revealed
The X Files returns on Fox for its tenth series tonight, and it’s looking greenYgreyer than ever. Thanks to Fox for creating an intelligent series that makes its audience think, and question the world around them.
XaW Files: Mystery of the Writer Mind
While X Files only provided a framework for XaW Files: Beyond Humanity, the book does try to investigate my own mind, providing an insight into the difficult process of writing a whole book telling an original story, featuring multiple diverse characters who travel over the vast distances of the whole of Eurasia and beyond.
The book kept to the format of the first nine X Files series, as shown on Wikipedia:
| Season | Episodes | Originally aired | Nielsen ratings | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| First aired | Last aired | Average viewers (millions) |
Rank | ||||||
| 1 | 24 | September 10, 1993 | May 13, 1994 | N/A | 111[19] | ||||
| 2 | 25 | September 16, 1994 | May 19, 1995 | 14.50[20] | 63[20] | ||||
| 3 | 24 | September 22, 1995 | May 17, 1996 | 15.40[21] | 55[22] | ||||
| 4 | 24 | October 4, 1996 | May 18, 1997 | 19.20[23] | 20[24] | ||||
| 5 | 20 | November 2, 1997 | May 17, 1998 | 19.80[23] | 11[25] | ||||
| The X-Files | June 19, 1998 | N/A | |||||||
| 6 | 22 | November 8, 1998 | May 16, 1999 | 17.20[23] | 12[26] | ||||
| 7 | 22 | November 7, 1999 | May 21, 2000 | 14.20[27] | 29[28] | ||||
| 8 | 21 | November 5, 2000 | May 20, 2001 | 13.93[27] | 31[29] | ||||
| 9 | 20
|
November 11, 2001 | May 19, 2002 | 9.10[30] | 63[31] | ||||
XaW Files TABLE OF CONTENTS
The format of this book follows the nine series and 202 episodes television series history of the X Files. The number of episodes in each chapter also mirror the number of episodes in each series.
Introduction – pages 1 – 8.
Chapter 1: Russia – 24 episodes, pages 9 – 58.
Chapter 2: Baltic – 25 episodes, pages 59 – 113.
Estonia, Finland, Latvia and Lithuania.
Chapter 3: Central East – 24 episodes, pages 114 – 167.
Belorussia, Poland, Czech Republic, Slovakia and Ukraine.
Chapter 4: South East – 24 episodes, pages 168 – 221.
Hungary, Romania, Moldova, Bulgaria and Greece.
Chapter 5: Balkans – 20 episodes, pages 222 – 265.
Albania, Macedonia, Serbia, Montenegro, Bosnia, Croatia and Slovenia.
Chapter 6: Alps Western Med – 22 episodes, pages 266 – 316.
Austria, Liechtenstein, Italy, Spain and Portugal.
Chapter 7: Western Europe – 22 episodes, pages 317 – 370.
France, Switzerland, San Marino, Germany, Luxembourg, Netherlands and Belgium.
Chapter 8: Scandinavia – 21 episodes, pages 371 – 422.
Denmark, Sweden and Norway.
Chapter 9: North West – 20 episodes, pages 423 – 475.
Appendix – pages 476 – 488.
It’s available to buy, or rent for Prime members, on Amazon; and various other outlets too I think.
Fantasy Travel Tomsk Womble Talks Chekhov’s Gun
Today’s episode of the XaW Files: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps Across Eurasia uncannily and uncaninely features the Wombles of Wimbledon just after the Wimbledon tennis tournament took place.
The Wombles are set to return, like Monty Python and Dangermouse, in a revival of good 1970s British culture.
By the way, there’s so much sport been going on lately that William Wolfsworth called himself a sport correspondent yesterday. He does like a game of football, but I think that was an own goal.
Hi, it’s G.G. Howling, fantasy travel correspondent at the greenYgrey inspired by J.K. Rowling in the human world. Here’s episode 12:
Chapter 1 Episode 12: Tomsk Times Two
Chekhov’s statue returned to its plinth position and stood still and silent as if nothing had ever happened.
I was wondering what to do with Sibiryakov’s body when a Womble I remembered as Tomsk wandered along and cleared the body up.
I thanked Tomsk, and said I’d been a fan of his when the Wombles were at their peak, although Orinoco was my favourite. I asked him where Orinoco is now. Tomsk replied that he’d returned to his river in South America.
Tomsk Talks Chekhov
Tomsk asked if I knew Sibiryakov, as he brushed his body up into his bag.
I said I had met him on the road to Irkutsk, and he’d seemed a very interesting travel companion.
Tomsk said it was a shame, but Chekhov’s gun kept on being used, and many fictional characters had been killed by it over the years.
Chekhov Helps Tomsk
‘Still, I suppose it keeps me in stories, and gives my work a deeper meaning,’ added Tomsk.
I replied that it did seem to have matured a lot since its time on Wimbledon Common.
Tomsk sighed, ‘Ah, they were carefree days I look back on with fondness. I was young then, and living far away from home. Returning to my Russian city made me seek a bigger mission in life. I had collected so many pieces of paper and sweet wrappers I was ready for a new challenge. When I saw the bodies piled up around the Chekhov statue it rekindled my enthusiasm for public health and sanitation. Chekhov’s statue is alright most of the time, it’s just when it hears philosophical and literary talk that it wakes up and uses its gun.’
‘Well, I’d better be off,’ said Tomsk, ‘it was nice talking to you. I’ve been expecting you for some time; since I told Sibiryakov about you in Tobolsk.’
Sibiryakov Tomsk Link Remembered
I remembered then that Sibiryakov had indeed told me that Tomsk had told him about me. I asked Tomsk if there was some meaning to the connection between the three of us.
‘It is the self-fulfilling philosophy of Chekhov’s Gun,’ replied Tomsk, before he shuffled away along the Tom River banks looking not unlike he had on Wimbledon Common.
Anton Chekhov, Russian writer, (1860-1904).
- Link for Amazon book and kindle.
Fantasy Travel Satirical Comedy as Anton Chekhov Statue in Tomsk Stars in gYg 3
After two failed lift-off attempts I think we are at last in the right time and place, and with favourable weather conditions, to join greenYgrey on its epic third ramble. Trying to maintain XaW Files blog post standards while creating new innovative material for expectant greenYgreyliens can seem like a trudge through a Siberian steppe in deepest winter. However, it can feel rewarding once the file is complete.
Funnily enough, that’s exactly where the greenYgrey is, travelling across the Siberian steppe. Here’s its latest XaW file:
X Files Chapter 1 Episode 11: Tomsk Talking Chekhov Statue
Fall down upon my sword
looking for another word
to rhyme with ground
exactly the right sound
I’ll use that before I get bored.
Sibiryakov and I travelled on a greenYgrey train to Tomsk. We talked about Burt the Butterfly all the way, remembering his best butterflying and greenYgreying displays, and hoped that it was enjoying its post-Krasnoyarsk life.
Anton Chekhov Statue
We saw a statue that seemed to be greenYgreying on the edge of the Tom River, so I asked it if it was in fact enjoying a spot of the social craze spreading across the human world like a wildfire.
I asked it in Penguinese, as Grey did of course learn that language in Penguin, Tasmania, on its epic Oz ramble, and the Chekhov statue had Penguinese looking feet.
The Chekhov statue raised its umbrella in an expression that seemed to say that it didn’t understand me, so I asked him again, only this time in human.
The Chekhov statue said that it was not a penguin, and not a greenYgreyer… not by choice anyway. It explained that the Tomsk townsfolk had built it after the great Russian writer Anton Chekhov had called the Tomsk townsfolk dull while passing through on his way east to Sakhalin Island.
So his place in front of green and yellow plants was not his choice, and whether he was greenYgreying or some other colour combinating was also not his choice.
His only constant was not colouresque, but being statuesque: ‘man is what he believes… people don’t notice whether it is summer or winter when they are happy.’
He said that Chekhov had obviously enjoyed greenygreying, but he was not Chekhov.
Then he brought his umbrella around and turned it into a gun, saying ‘you should not put this in your story if it is not going to be important to the plot.’
Sibiryakov dived at Chekhov’s statue, and they struggled. Chekhov’s gun went off, and Sibiryakov stopped moving.
I said ‘you killed Sibiryakov’, like the South Park kids used to say ‘you killed Kenny’.
Chekhov’s statue replied ‘don’t tell me the man is dead, show me the drops of blood on my smoking gun.’
Sibiryakov died in Tomsk
in Xaw Files all’s not lost
I’ll remember Alexander
every time I meander
riding the Tomsk CoA gYg horse.
References
Anton Chekhov quotes and adaptations inspired by examples posted on Brainy Quote. Chekhov said ‘don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass’.
Chekhov’s Gun is a dramatic principle inspired by Anton Chekhov saying that if a gun is described in a story it should later by used.
CoA: Coat of Arms.
- Link for Amazon book and kindle.
X Files Parody Reaches Russian Siberia Krasnoyarsk
There were three writers
on Wikipedia’s Krasnoyarsk
so I thought I’d combine
them with recent thoughts
plots and characters
from XaW Files’s Russian odyssey
and the style of it and its two
predecessors in living memory
to make the tenth episode
out of a planned twenty-four
in line with X Files Season 1.
Is three hours of
research, thought and writing
an enjoyable luxury struggle
too self-centred
for a modern capitalist country
grown too over-populated
for anyone to really matter;
and in an age when everybody
is led to believe
that they do matter
because they can all create
art, media and communicate
in the quickest time
with no need to think
of the sublime.
Bring me back from my rambles
make me work 9 to 5
even if I don’t earn enough
to pay tax
you’ll have clipped wings
from air to cabinet
where you can watch
every move I make
and feel that now
you can fly higher
and feel more alive.
Sometimes I resent
working like this
for little reward
but then I remember
it’s my choice
and I’m trying to entertain
publicise and sell
doing something I like
with my World Cup dreams
having passed for longer
than they lived.
XaW Files Chapter 1, Episode 10
Dreams of the Blighty Summer
Pleased to meet you Krasnoyarsk,
I’m sorry to disturb you, it may be crass
“no y’ ask” you say, thank you,
have you seen our Andy Wolfhol,
who I think may have passed this way,
for your city is known for natural beauty
and your name is structurally like greenYgrey
only with an extra o before the y,
and when I saw your city at twilight time
it really did look greenYgrey
with the extra o represented by orange in the sky;
although there is also pink in the sky,
and black and white mountains, snow and houses
so that would make it more like Krasnopbwyarsk
if we were true to the detail,
and did not take artistic licence.
‘Ya,’ Krasnoyarsk replied, ‘there was a werewolf
passed through some time ago
looked a little like the picture you painted
and had a mantra that went something like ‘wolf not war.’
See Andrei Makine Dreams of My Russian Summers
Let Trees be my Statues, and Clouds their Pigeons
Is a life not better remembered with a living form: a tree rather than a statue. Although statues can be great works of art, are those of life forms such as humans more representative of those life forms than other life forms, such as trees.
While a good statue can provide an image of a person during their life; often an idealised representation based on their mythology; as a Yahoo Answer stated, ‘plants have the same cellular respiratory paths to provide metabolic energy, using oxygen and giving off CO2, as animals do.’
see Viktor Astafyev statue
Thinking and Writing Better than Listening and Talking
Bert the Butterfly whispered to me that he was not a real butterfly. He had been a real butterfly once. A beautiful black, grey and white butterfly that liked to eat from yellow flowers, with green stalks. His image was captured by a human; using a camera.
![WWW (Wet Wide Web) [Explored]](https://i0.wp.com/www.greenygrey.co.uk/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/1875623898_50a5ffaac5_n.jpg "WWW (Wet Wide Web) [Explored]")
Bert said it was now time to popov, and flew back towards the natural world.
see Yevgeni Anatolyevich Popov literary style.
- Link for Amazon book and kindle.
Irkutsk Fantasy Travel Prose and Poem
After a couple of months and eight chapters/episodes virtual travelling by Google Maps greenYgrey has reached the more populated west of Siberia. Irkutsk is an important city on the trans-Siberian highway and trainline. gYg is still travelling with Alexander Sibiryakov.
J.K. Rowling (of gYg world) Introduction
Hi, it’s G.G. Howling, fiction writing correspondent at the greenYgrey inspired by highly successful writer J.K. Rowling.
The new chapter of the X Files parody begins with thoughtful information mixing the greenYgrey rebranding with Irkutsk maps and symbols, before Bert the butterfly enters the story.
After a tad too much time travelling, the episode ends with a little literary nonsense poem that rhymes A-B-A-B-A-B-A-B-A-B.
XaW Files Chapter 1 Episode 9
I felt at home looking at the Irkutsk map, as it seemed to have everything that the new rebranding of the greenYgrey has to offer, with large areas of green and grey, and a yellow Y shape in the middle.
I also liked the Irkutsk coat of arms, featuring Dauria the Siberian tiger amongst lots of old-fashioned greenygrey, but not so much that it was carrying a sable.
So I liked the greenYgrey Irkutsk Oblast district one better:
A butterfly called Bert then got in on the greenYgreying act, so I asked him if he’d seen anything of our Wolfhol.
He said there was a lot of greenygreyness around Irkutsk, but he didn’t know if any of it had been created by Andy. We looked all around the city, but couldn’t find any signs of Wolfhol, so Bert asked if we’d fancy some time-travelling.
We jumped at the chance, and were soon flying through time. However, we must have jumped too high, and found ourselves back in the early 1900s club.
It looked a lovely design,
but wasn’t really Wolfhol’s style,
I looked for an immaculate sign,
with horses waiting a while,
Sibiryakov had a glass of wine,
while Bert fluttered for a mile,
I suggested we follow the line,
down the street in single file,
and if we don’t find Wolfhol it’s fine,
at the arc we’ll take another time trial.
- Link for Amazon book and kindle.
X Files Parody 8th Episode Epic Comedy Poem
From snail to Sibiryakov
Greenygrey did accelerate
no sign of art or Wolfhol
recursive Droste effect
Andy’s Matryoshka doll trait.
Hi, it’s Jack Wolfpac, legendary travel writing poet satirical comedy correspondent at the Greenygrey, inspired by Jack Kerouac. Here’s the latest post from the Greenygrey/Grey/greenYgrey’s third epic fantasy travel by Google Maps; the search for Andy Wolfhol across Eurasia.
The poem is a seven stanzas quintain rhyming ABAAB, unlike the limericks of the last episode, which rhyme AABBA.
———————————————————
XaW Files Chapter 1 Episode 8
Twenty Four Hours From Tulsa
sang Gene Pitney in 1963
now I’d travelled all day
but was still 36 hours from Irkutsk
by car driving continuously.
Twenty Four Days Walk to Irkutsk
according to Google Maps
2,868 kilometres, 1,781 miles
578 hours divided by 24
like running Earth axis laps.
There’s a bus once every 24 hours
but it takes two and a half days
for the Siberian journey
I was feeling daunted until
meeting an explorer in history’s haze.
Sibiryakov – Alexander like Orlov
but surname has a structure
mirroring Greenygrey
with five letters before a y
followed by four after.
Hello old adventurer
I did read and greet
have you been sailing to Pechora
or trekking across the Urals
it looks the latter from your feet.
Ah Greenygrey, your name
seems familiar to me
I think I heard about you in Tobolsk
from a Womble called Tomsk
before my island in the Kara Sea.
So off together we did ramble
and it didn’t seem like a day
before we reached Irkutsk
not cutting corners before Chita
or milking it under Ulan-Ude.
- Link for Amazon book and kindle.
Alexander Mikhaylovich Sibiryakov (Russian: Алекса́ндр Миха́йлович Сибиряко́в) (October 8 [O.S. September 26] 1849, Irkutsk – 1933) was a Russian gold mine and factories owner and explorer of Siberia.
Sibiryakov graduated from the Zurich polytechnic institute in Switzerland. Later in life, he financed the polar expeditions of Adolf Erik Nordenskiöld (see Vega Expedition) and A.V. Grigoriev. He also sponsored the publication of works on Siberia’s history. In 1880, he made an attempt to enter the Yenisei estuary through the Kara Sea on a schooner. In 1884, Sibiryakov reached the Pechora estuary on the “Nordenskjöld” steamer and proceeded up the river. He then crossed the Urals using reindeers and reached Tobolsk by the Tobol River. Sibiryakov contributed significantly[how?] to Siberia’s economic development.
Sibiryakov Island, an island in the Kara Sea at the mouth of the Yenisei River, is named after him, as well as icebreakers A. Sibiryakov andSibiryakov.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexander_Sibiryakov
Russia Fantasy Travel Inspires Coleridge Kublai Cheap Trick
While we miss the greenYgrey every day, it feels like a special occasion when we receive its latest news from its new rambles, which are at the moment continuing across Russia.
Hi, it’s Jack Wolfpac, satirical comedy travel writing correspondent at the Greenygrey. The above heading was a James Bond movie, and there’s a Cheap Trick reference in the latest episode of the greenYgrey’s all new thrilling fantasy travel by Google Maps literary epic comedy parody of the X Files.
Cheap Trick’s Live at the Budokan was recorded in Japan, and was a major success for them, full of great anthemic pop rock songs.
I thought gYg had made a lot of progress when I read its post, but when I looked at the Google map I drew the conclusion that it had travelled too close to the road, slowing it down to a snail‘s pace.
Maybe it had shapeshifted into a snail. I can neither confirm or contradict that theory. I know as much as you do. gYg doesn’t mention any shapeshifting, but maybe it didn’t think it was relevant.
Anyway, here is episode 7: 6 stanzas of 5-line limericks:
XaW Files Chapter 1 Episode 7
It was getting late
I thought I’d wait
to the end of dusk
then heard Khabarovsk
show me the M58.
I crossed the River Amur
sensing underneath blue blur
the heart of a leopard or tiger
with no need for a decider
or break and rip cerulean fur.
Priamurskaya a few hours west
Kolyuchinskaya several days past
Koly was pre-Amur
Amur was pre-Priamur
Reaching skaya was sign for a rest.
Nikolaevka, Dezhnevka, Volochaevka
never did veer
until I reached Olgokhta
and tucked into a starter
main course, dessert and beer.
I made the leftovers into a sandwich
eaten on the far side of Smidovich
Aur led to Budukan
reminding me of a Cheap Trick
live album which made them rich.
Would my live touring words
ever make such inroads
I wandered loud on a highway
wondering Coleridge’s Xanadu Kublai
or west-travelling Genghis and hordes.
- Link for Amazon book and kindle.
Literary Nonsense Poem about Khabarovsk History and Tretyakov Art
It looked like the Greenygrey was hot on the trail of the A.W.O.L Andy Wolfhol in the last chapter of the poetically funny X Files parody XaW Files. I can’t help but think GG has gone a bit off the trail in the sixth chapter, researching and poetically documenting the life of Yerofey Khabarovsk.
Poem about Khabarovsk
Hi, it’s G.G. Howling, fiction writing correspondent at the Greenygrey inspired by J.K. Rowling. I know enough about fiction writing to know that a little background and history is necessary, and that it’s best to fit it into the narrative of the story.
However, I also know that it’s important to keep the story progressing, and don’t know if Khabarovsk is going to be important at the end.
Then again, the Greenygrey doesn’t know that either yet, as it’s still searching for our Wolfhol. Some breather chapters and fillers are often a good idea anyway, and there’s some good info and poetry within this chapter, although all done in a loopy literary nonsense style of course.
XaW Files Chapter 6: Khabarov Stroganov Tretyakov Art History Mix
Khabarovsk, Khabarovsk
so well planned
I never got lost.
Named after Khabarov
an adventurer entrepreneur
once manager for Stroganovs.
Stroganovs were an important family
remembered in food and art
like latter’s showpiece Tretyakov gallery.
There’s Morning in a Pine Forest
by SavitskyShishkin
with a bear family looking cutest.
The Bogatyrs by Vasnetsov
has three warriors
and a greenYgrey background.
Alenushka looking demure
reflecting above a pool
was another Vasnetsov picture.
Khabarov was second to the Amur
after Poyarkov’s three-year expedition
three years before.
Khabarov was there in 1649-50
returning from 1650-53
end of history after refusing expedition 3.
I hope there was a happy ending for Yerofey
because his first name has two Ys
and rhymes with Greenygrey.
Fantasy Travel Swan Flight Over Okhotsk to Khabarovsk
You know, I don’t know if this has been mentioned before, but the growth of the Y in the greenYgrey rebranding could be symbolic of the boomerang social media craze that crossed from the Greenygrey world to the human during the latter stages of the Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps serialisation last year.
- Link for Amazon book and kindle.
Realisation and Editing
Hi, it’s G.G. Howling, fiction writing correspondent at the Greenygrey inspired by J.K. Rowling. I only noticed in yesterday’s blog, when Sharapova seemed to be making a Y with her arms; one holding a grey racket; in front of a green and grey background.
I also noticed that the greenYgrey rebranding hadn’t been included over the Roger Federer photo, with it just being an old-fashioned greenygrey. This missed some of the very funny greenYgrey punchline, as there is a yellow tennis ball in the air, which can be seen as symbolic of the Y in greenYgrey. The joke had thus been reduced to just quite funny.
It has now been edited. I just wrote not instead of now there, which would have given the last paragraph a completely different meaning, and an incorrect assertion, as it has indeed been edited.
Fantasy Travel by Google Maps New Chapter
Anyway, all the above was just extra work I did while in the office last night and this morning.
I am mainly here to introduce the latest thrilling chapter of greenYgrey’s epic third fantasy travel by Google maps.
If you remember the last thrilling episode, and how could you forget it (if you read it), there was a poem that ended with gYg asleep in Penzhina Bay and dreaming it was in Magadan. Did it awake in Penzhina or Magadan, or somewhere else? All will be revealed below!
The story is really warming up, as gYg heads south in Siberia, where there is a warmer climate and big cities. Here it is:
XaW Files Chapter 5: Swans Alive, Khabarovsk Strive
I wasn’t in Magadan when I awoke.
I was two bays farther west, sheltering on the Zal Shetinga coast.
My legs and arms didn’t feel tired, but my poetry felt drained.
There didn’t seem to be much Andy Wolfhol-related action around, so I shape-shifted into a double tundra swan, and flew down over the Sea of Okhotsk to Khabarovsk.
After the beautiful but barren chilly north I thought the land was getting greener… and greyer. Green looked at me, and I looked at Green; Grey looked at me, and I looked at Grey. We exchanged a warm smile. It looked like our kind of place.
Y? Yes, Y too.
We were two.
Y made us three.
Y especially liked the trolleY
bus system; but was also made jollY
riding the tram to a boulevard called AmurskY.
Y later said it imagined a sky full of amur leopards and tigers while riding the tram.
I landed on the River Amur, after getting clearance from the amur leopards controlling air space over the tenth longest river in the world.
I took a cab to downtown Khabarovsk, and soon discovered it is a hub of art in the region: the kind of place that would surely attract our Wolfhol.
We strived all day to see signs of art reminiscent of our Andy Wolfhol. We found some.
The search was hotting up, like the weather.
mistYmuse 