Amazon prime days

Amazon Prime Days today and tomorrow with a free month’s trial membership, so you can read XaW Files: Beyond Humanity for free online, if you like zany pagan theme comedy and poetry. Here’s one of 202 episodes, structured to the X-Files episodes, with the book a loose parody (focused more on the mind and coincidence than UFOs… unfortunately… some documentaries got me back interested in aliens soon after publishing!):

Chapter 8 Episode 6

‘greenY, I am Grendel, I think we must be related from sharing our first three letters.’

‘Werewolf who often wants to be a wolf, I am Beowulf. I think we must be related.’

Grendel Rings Our Bell

How did I become embroiled in a struggle between the main protagonist and antagonist of the oldest surviving Anglo-Saxon epic poem. Oh yes, it started because were (sic) in Denmark, and the saga is mainly set in that country, with Grendel having  attacked the mead hall in the Danish court of King Hroðgar. 

Then in the last episode of this epic tale we cracked open the mead! I should have known it would attract Grendel, what with this being an X Files parody, but a lot of mead has passed under the bridge since then, so I didn’t think it would create a row between Grendel and Beowulf. 

We had been enjoying ourselves, as described in the last episode, when there was a knock on the door. It was Grendel asking for a month’s supply of our mead:

‘They say mud sticks
and Mjød sure kicks
im-mead-iately a treat
smell that’s hard to beat
so sweet a taste
shouldn’t go to waste.’

Sitting on the Fence in Odense 

Grendel had just finished his soliloquy, when there was another knock on the door. Yes, you might have guessed, it was Beowulf. He delivered his opening line as written at the start of this episode, before asking that we hand Grendel over to him, as he is supposed to have been dead for many centuries.

I had just asked Chris and Mads for their advice, when there was another knock on the door. I opened it, and saw it was a woman who looked like an older Grendel.

‘Hello, I’m looking for my son,’ she said. ‘I followed a scent of mead here, and know he is only too fond of the sweet stuff. His name is Grendel, and I sense yours is greenY by your look; so you may be doubly interesting to him, because he thinks everybody that has a name like him is related.’

Just then there was a commotion inside, and when I looked behind myself, I could see Chris and Mads trying to separate Beowulf and Grendel, who had obviously started tussling. 

Norse God Not Happy with Noise

I was wondering what to do next when a thunderous voice spoke down to us, stopping the mortal enemies in their tracks. 

‘Oh what a din,’ said Odin. ‘Odense is supposed to be a quiet holy city for my worshippers, with the name deriving from Odins Vé, meaning “Odin’s sanctuary”.

‘Hello Odin,’ I said. ‘Thanks for your help. I was wondering what to do with our visitors, and didn’t know Odense was named after you. I thought it looked more related to Denmark, but apparently that has a totally different etymological origin.’

‘I can handle my son myself thank you Odin,’ said Grendel’s mother. ‘As long as he hasn’t had any of that mead yet he should be fine once I get him out of the house, and back home.’

‘I think that is the best solution,’ Odin said. ‘Please allow Grendel’s mother access to your house greenY, and let her take Grendel home. Goodnight all, and hopefully I’ll be able to get my precious sleep now.’

‘Goodnight Odin,’ we replied.

So that’s what happened, with Grendel and his mother going home quietly; well, apart from her giving him a bit of a row and a clip around the ear as they walked down the street.

References

As told in the surviving epic poem, Beowulf was the son of Ecgtheow, a warrior of the Swedish Wægmundings. Ecgþeow had slain Heaðolaf, a man from another clan named the Wulfings (according to Scandinavian sources, they were the ruling dynasty of the Geatish petty kingdom of Östergötland). Apparently, because the victim was from a prominent family the weregild was set too high, and so Ecgþeow was banished and had to seek refuge among the Danes. The Danish king Hroðgar generously paid the weregild, and had Ecgþeow swear an oath.

Like our rambles, the story of Beowulf and Grendel is thought to contain some real people in a fictional story.

brand baa baa: belarus not far, compared to america

Branding became a buzz word as I finished my Communications Studies PhD in 2005. As I specialised in criticising PR (focusing on the political spin of the then New Labour government, with PM Tony Blair advised by Alistair Campbell) I was critical of it, considering it marketing brainwashing.

I launched the Greengrey world after leaving university. The colour scheme was inspired by the dominant landscape colours I saw, and my ‘marketing’ of it was partly a parody of branding (finding greenYgrey colours everywhere, like in the Conservative advert image above); doing it for real with an environmental message (need the green to prevent all grey) in a tongue-in-cheek manner.

After seeing more sun, even on mostly grey days, I later rebranded it to greenYgrey; with the parody side of me also wanting to just do a ‘rebranding’; maybe inspired by my workplace’s ‘rebranding’ (see below).

I would probably have endeared myself more to my home city/county by calling it the Whiteyblue (maybe a were(polar)bear!?); fittingly later becoming whiteYblue; as those are its traditional colours. However, the parody element probably wouldn’t be appreciated.

I was about five years ahead of the big corporate I was working for part-time. It got serious about its branding by coordinating all its ‘image’ into one colour; including staff uniforms (like our kit!); unfortunately in the city/county’s main rival colours (red)! I might have become a big fish in their marketing division if I’d volunteered my expertise earlier – but I didn’t really believe in it, and especially not in their industry!!

Taking the Knee Cause/Brand Brainwashing!

That’s one of the reasons I’ve gone off sport in the last couple of years; the dirty/money takeover. All the Premiership footballers ‘taking the knee’ because of one incident in a distant country; after ignoring the child grooming scandal for a decade or two in our own, and the terrible crimes committed in Africa on a daily basis; at the end of the season adding insult to injury… and then there was covid-19 to put everything into perspective.

Like many things, it all seems to be inspired by the USA, with a lot of the footballers watching sport there, and probably dreaming of a Hollywood career or life afterwards?!.. as I was at their age… before Weinstein and Meghan put me off!

Will they be taking a knee for the Belarus demonstrators who’ve apparently been killed, in a country much closer than the USA. I don’t think so, because white on white doesn’t have the Hollywood effect coming from California… or the influence, money and fame!

I don’t really want to become involved in Belarus/Russia/EU politics either, but think it should be more relevant than the USA to us; if it was about geography and ethnicity rather than power and money.

I was relieved to see some motor racing drivers refuse to take the knee – while still wearing t-shirts denouncing racism – to see some sign of individuality. Was it because they are European, higher class, or more educated; or a bit of each, or more than one.

Whatever the reasons, I was impressed; unlike with the footballers’ 100% conformity. Unfortunately, they are traditionally more from the sport, country and class I am; although its become less and less so over the years; but if I didn’t disagree with them I’d look just as brainwashed.

Maroon 5 YSL Advert gYg-POPurplesque

mistYmuse Y-day is just over a week away…

Adam Levine played the (Y) part well in this new YSL advert:

Yorkshire Tea Time PhilosophT Bjork Utopia Parallel Universe Poetry

Is Bjork a Utopian Yorkshire Tea fan? Before discussing the similarities of the Utopia and Brewtopia videos, with a time difference twist, first here’s a little Bjork name fun Folding Mirror poem, which will hopefully please and promote Bjork:

Bjork Pronounced, Poetically Bounced

Be York, as in city
Be Orc, mixed with pixie

but please don’t proceed, tempted by incendiary need

the incorrect, Be dork
or scandalous, Be jerk

greenYgreyologists in the coffilosophy age wondered at the coincidence of how Bjork started writing her Utopia album drawing inspiration from walking in the Icelandic countryside just as the greenYgrey trilogy was ending there in the epic classic XaW Files: Beyond Humanity… and they shared a PinkyOrangePurple (POP) theme:

There was no accusation of Bjork being inspired by the book, but it would be a compliment if she was… or has even heard of it. More recent research has shown that Bjork also had a greenYgrey phase too, as seen in the videos for NotGet and Solstice.

Tea Time Discovery

The Kenco cofficionado does have more questions to answer, especially as he appeared a few months after I contacted them about my coffilosophy/er… and is a bit of a Russell Brand.

It’s okay for the upper classes with their ‘special skills’ to go round looking at people and reading their minds while staring at them! If that was me I’d be called a weirdo witch!

Anyway, the passing of the age from coffilosophy to philosophT; in name if not drink! I do try and drink tea in the afternoon, rather than another coffee, but do still have my two mugs of strong coffee in the morning; at the moment I have one Kenco and one Morrison’s Gold; has already borne tea gold.

I returned to this Yorkshire Tea advert I’d thought at the time was very greenYgreyish. Returning to it now and seeing it was called Brewtopia I thought it may be a parody of Bjork’s Utopia, but then when I looked at the date it was the summer of 2015, so preceded Bjork’s album by some time, as she only started writing it at the end of that year.

It was in the heart of the greenYgrey years, but its POP twilight colours in the sky at the end did precede the greenYgrey POP age being published in XaW Files, although I might have blogged about it beforehand. I doubt if they were influenced by me, and we were both inspired by that scenery.

Kenco Cofficionado Inspired by Me the Coffilosopher and my Coffilosophy?

I was watching The Lobster (2015) today, having recorded it on television last night. It has lots of offbeat comedy around a central theme of animal transformation, making me think there was a lot of my greenYgrey were concept relevance. However, there has been a lot of such comedy in fiction, and a lot of it inspired me. But then my neurons really sparked when they saw a new Kenco advert for the first time, and that really rang a bell, as its central character was a cofficionado; and is also the star of their website. 

That’s after I sent them an email last September telling them about my coffilosopher/coffilosophy concept, and never heard back:

Marc Latham <greenygrey@gmail.com>	27/09/2017
to Kenco

 Dear Kenco,

Last year I took part quite a lot in your campaign to help the people of Central America choose a coffee-growing peaceful path.

I am a real doctor of philosophy, and love writing on coffee. So, during my last book, combining philosophy and fantasy fiction, I declared myself the first self-titled coffilosopher, combining coffee and philosopher.

Although there have been many coffilosophers before me, including my writing hero Jack Kerouac; and since I declared myself a coffilosopher I read Patti Smith’s memoir M Train, where she writes of being a dedicated coffee connoisseur; I am the first doctor of philosopher to declare myself a coffilosopher as far as I know.

I’ve recently reached the end of my decade of writing and am currently thinking about options for the future. I was wondering if you would be interested in my work at all, either sponsoring me as a coffee advocate, or using the coffilosopher term and concept for your advertising.

Thanks for your time, Marc. 

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Should I take it as a coffilosophy compliment and Valentine’s Day show of love? Or am I being taken for a mug (pun intended!).

Coffilosophy first appeared in my XaW Files book. If you value original ideas maybe you’ll read it to see that and many more such ideas and concepts: