premier league football writing

Liverpool’s Lovren was the biggest football star in XaW Files: Beyond Humanity (now free to read online with Amazon Prime: last Prime Day today!).

After it was published, Liverpool won the Champions League and Premier League titles. He was then blamed for any defensive lapses when he played!

After leaving in the summer, Liverpool’s defence has collapsed! Including against Leeds, who were the main team in XaW Files; they were promoted last year!

Now, Liverpool seem to have joined their main rivals in the Salford Red Devils triangle!

Coincidence? Weird or What (good TV show, giving different versions of an event, and letting you… be Sherlock!).

Lovren has now moved to St. Petersburg, where the first chapter travelling Russia ended with a chess theme, Bond parody wordplay and a tennis love match between Kournikova and Sharapova:

You Can Lead a Horse to Tennis

I thanked the horse for its Saint Petersburg info, and asked if it fancied a stroll. It agreed, and introduced itself as Wiki Steedia. We walked around some of the green parks and grey streets, until reaching a tennis stadium. There was an exhibition match being played there between Russian greats Anna Kournikova and Maria Sharapova, so I asked Wiki if it wanted to watch. Wiki said neigh. It said it would love to, but knew of an open chess tournament taking place in an exclusive club, and thought it might be able to get some work as a bit-part player there. So we said goodbye after I thanked it for the lift and flight from Moscow.

I was sad to see Wiki leave, and thought You can lead a chess horse to tennis, but you can’t make it play.

Tennis Love Match

I was sorry to say goodbye to Wiki, but was glad I opted to watch the tennis, as it was a great game. Kournikova took the first set to love, then Sharapova took the second to love. The third set was the decider, kind of like the Y in greenYgrey.

The games went to serve throughout the third set, and they played a tie-break rather than one having to win by two games. Kournikova had just taken a three-love lead, with an incredible volley, when I felt something tugging at my leg.

I looked down, and was astounded to see it was Love, the mixed-up vole; the lovely love correspondent at the greenYgrey.

From Russia with Love

‘Follow me quickly,’ Love said. ‘It’s time for you to leave Russia. You must not stall any longer, for this episode is already well over its time limit, and you don’t want to be using up all your time with no sign of our ol’ Wolfhol yet.’

I had to agree with Love. I had become engrossed in the Saint Petersburg sights and tennis match, and lost sight of time.

I followed it out of the stadium, and down into the Sportivnaya station. I loved the greenYgrey look of the station. Love said it did too.

We passed through Admiralteyskaya, Sadovaya and Zvenigorodskaya metro stations. I remember arriving in Obvodny, and thinking it looked like the CERN Large Hadron Collider. It was to be my last thought for a while, because then we seemed to shoot off at proton beams speed, and I lost consciousness.

References:
Neigh/Nay is a word for a horse noise and a slang word for no. Fyodor Dostoyevsky biography: http://eng.md.spb.ru/dostoevsky/other_museums/omsk/?more
From Russia With Love was a 1963 James Bond film.
Saint Petersburg and Russian literature information from Wikipedia.
You can lead a chess horse to tennis, but you can’t make it play works kind of like that old chestnut phrase: You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.

XaW Files free to read online at Amazon Prime: https://www.amazon.co.uk/XaW-Files-Beyond…/dp/B019NOY9ZU
Lots more free thinking fun loving wordplay on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/marc.l.latham/

Double Dutch Greenygrey Goalies Save Falklands

Julio Cesar held on to the World Cup 2014 golden greenYgrey Number 1 goalie jersey for three weeks, as the Tour de France leader wears a yellow jersey, but his reign at the top was ended in spectacular fashion last night; like a special Stella Lagerwolf-Bruno outfit after a night on the tiles; as a great Germany team put seven goals past a depleted Brazil side without star player Neymar and best defender Silva.

César Rodriguez, cantautor. (Photo credit: Tonymadrid Photography)

Hi, it’s Martin ‘Werewolfie’ Adams, with yet another satirical comedy sports report from the Brazil 2014 World Cup. I am still inspired by darts legend Martin ‘Wolfie’ Adams.

Brazil = 1 Germany = 7

Poor Cesar didn’t stand a chance last night, as his defence crumbled under an efficient and skilful German team.

None of the goals were really the fault of Julio Cesar, although he might have been disappointed to let Schurrle’s second and Germany’s seventh in at his near post; although by that time it was of little consequence, and the Brazilian team was thoroughly dejected… and rejected by even most of their own fans.

Julio César (Photo credit: mmarftrejo)

It was a sad end to the World Cup for Brazilian fans that had lived in hope rather than belief, with their current side a pale shadow of previous great teams, which peaked with Pele in the Mexico 1970 World Cup.

Manuel Neuer took over the golden greenYgrey jersey from Cesar after the game. Neuer did not have much to do during the game, although he did make a great double save at the start of the second half, but has been consistently great during the tournament.

Neuer combines great reflexes with a confident aura in the penalty box, and even plays like an extra outfield player by sweeping up long balls behind his defence. He therefore seems like the complete keeper, and a worthy winner of the golden greenYgrey jersey.

Argentina v Netherlands

The Netherlands qualified for tonight’s other semi-final with Argentina after substituting one greenYgrey goalie for another before a penalty shoot-out with Costa Rica.

Jasper Cillesson made way for Tim Krul, who has of course has been the golden greenYgrey goalie in the English Premier League for the last couple of seasons, as featured on this blog.

Krul saved two Costa Rican penalties to send the Dutch through to a semi-final against Argentina that evokes memories of the 1978 World Cup final in Argentina, which the Argentinians won 3-1 after extra time.

The World Cup had been a magical ticker-tapes success, but Argentina unfortunately spoiled it four years later when they invaded the Falklands Islands, which were uninhabited before Britain claimed them.

If the Dutch win tonight, a final against Germany will mirror the 1974 final forty years ago this year, although Germany were still West Germany then. West Germany beat the Netherlands 2-1 in that final.

FIFA World Cup 1974 in Germany :*Graphics by Poell :*Ausgabepreis: 30 Pfennig :*First Day of Issue / Erstausgabetag: 15. Mai 1974 :*Michel-Katalog-Nr: 811 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Argentina played West Germany in two World Cup finals running in 1986 and 1990, with the South Americans winning 3-2 in ’86 (after Maradona cheated in the quarter-final v England) and WG winning 1-0 in the second (after luckily beating England on penalties in the semi-final).

No European side has ever won the World Cup in the Americas.

It seems likely that this will be the first time, although Lionel Messi and La Albiceleste will be hoping to wrestle the World Cup trophy currently held by Spain back to the mixed-up land of Gauchos, Guevara and Galtieri… which is politically and sportingly dominated by the descendants of European colonists.

Weekend of Sport Satirical Comedy Highlights

There was a great weekend of sport in Britain, as the Tour de France riders departed on their long journey from Yorkshire to Paris via the south of France; the British Formula One Grand Prix roared around Silverstone, and the Wimbledon tennis finals took place. There was some great sporting action, and a lot of the highlights were in glorious greenYgrey.

Tour de France in Yorkshire

Hi, it’s Martin ‘Werewolfie’ Adams, satirical comedy sports correspondent at the greenYgrey inspired by darts legend Martin ‘Wolfie’ Adams.

The crowds and weather surpassed even the brightest hopes in Yorkshire, as two and a half million people are thought to have cheered the Tour de France from its Grand Depart in Leeds to Harrogate, and York to Sheffield, on the first two stages of its long journey to Paris.

There were mostly blue skies through throughout the weekend in Yorkshire, but the BBC does lead with this old-fashioned greenygrey photo on its website. Perhaps it is fitting, as the tour travelled through Bronte country around the village of Haworth.

Today the Tour travels from Cambridge to London on the third and final stage in England, before continuing in France.

Team GB‘s defending champion and Team Sky rider Chris Froome is currently in fifth place, after Vincenzo Nibali won Stage Two utilising all the greenYgreying skills vital for  cycling in Yorkshire.

Lewis Hamilton Wins British Grand Prix for Team GG

Lewis Hamilton gave Britain a home victory as he won the British Grand Prix at Silverstone for Team GG/Mercedes.

Mercedes/Team GG teammate Nico Rosberg was disappointed that his race was ended by car trouble, but it had nothing to do with its greenygrey colour design.

Rosberg showed he didn’t blame the greenygrey when he appeared with it afterwards.

Wimbledon Men’s Tennis Final

Wimbledon provided wall-to-wall greenYgrey for a fortnight, but fizzled out at the end for greenYgrey interest.

Old Team GG stalwart and King of Clay Rafa Nadal struggled on grass again, while Team GB’s Andy Murray lost to new Team GG player GriGor Dimitrov.

So it was left to sometimes Team GG player Novak Djokovic to defeat the old vampire nemesis Roger Federer on a spectacularly greenYgrey centre court. Old legend Federer had done well to reach the Wimbledon final after a couple of years absence from a Grand Slam final.

Wimbledon Women’s Tennis Final

While it didn’t look like there was much to choose between Petra Kvitova and Eugenie Bouchard in the women’s singles final, the greenYgrey was 75% supporting Bouchard, but Kvitova won 75% of the play!

We were hoping to see Bouchard boo(merang) hard, but it wasn’t to be this time! Congratulations to Kvitova for winning her second Wimbledon title, and here’s Bouchard in a previous trophy-winning boomerang.

Tour de France’s greenYgrey Welcome to Leeds Yorkshire

Leeds, Yorkshire‘s Le Grand Depart Le Grand Coincidence got grander last night, as I watched the welcoming and opening ceremony at the impressively greenYgrey Leeds First Direct Arena. Some of the attendees were wearing a yellow Y, which is totally the same as the greenYgrey‘s promotion of the Y to symbolise yellow!

Leeds Tour de France Le Grand Depart

Hi, it’s Martin ‘Werewolfie’ Adams, satirical comedy sports correspondent at the greenYgrey inspired by darts legend Martin ‘Wolfie’ Adams.

Yes, there was a great greenYgrey Leeds Yorkshire welcome for the 198 Tour de France riders at the 13,500 capacity First Direct Arena, which only opened just over a year ago.

Tour de France Yorkshire Merchandise

Some of the people interviewed, such as singer Alistair Griffin (who sings the official Tour de France Le Grand Depart song, The Road, with the lovely Kimberly Walsh of Girls Aloud fame; the song’s video on YouTube is posted below) and politician Nick Clegg, were wearing a yellow Y, probably to symbolise Yorkshire, but also reminding us of greenYgrey. Such symbolic merchandise is available on the Welcome to Yorkshire website.

As well as greenYgrey, the yellow Y can also represent the iconic yellow jersey of the Tour de France coming to Yorkshire. Yellow and blue are also important symbolic colours in Leeds and Yorkshire.

Tour de France Teams

As I watched the Tour de France teams being introduced last night I realised Team GG (gYg) has a player in the great game.

Yes, I’m proud to announce that Team Europcar is flying the greenYgrey colours.

Tour de France in Leeds

Although I read Marc Latham’s detailed Tour de France Le Grand Depart Leeds history and sights articles on TravelThruHistory and Go Nomad I didn’t know the exact Leeds start and route until this morning.

Then I looked on the Leeds.gov.uk website and saw it starts outside the Leeds art gallery on the Headrow, and then heads east down Eastgate to Regent Street, before heading north towards Harewood House via the Sheepscar Interchange.

Here’s a greenYgrey map showing the direction of the race, and fastest walking routes between the Headrow and Regent Street:

Here’s the official song The Road video, which features some great greenYgrey Yorkshire scenery:

Enjoy the race, and good luck to all the riders, and especially the virtually Team GG and sometimes Team GB ones.

Leeds and Yorkshire Tour de France Photos

Leeds and Yorkshire is going gargantuan  greenYgrey this week. It is not in celebration of this website unfortunately, but is for a great reason. Yes, the Tour de France start (Le Grand Depart) is in Leeds on Saturday morning, and after the first day finishes in Harrogate, the second day will see the 198 cyclists whizz south through emerald summer dales from York to Sheffield. The third and final day in Britain will travel from Cambridge to London.

Tour de France Le Grand Depart

Hi, it’s Martin ‘Werewolfie’ Adams, satirical comedy sports reporter inspired by darts legend Martin ‘Wolfie’ Adams.

The greenYgrey’s promotion of yellow rebranding has of course been developing for several years – before the Le Grand Depart was awarded to Leeds; but the Tour de France has of course been awarding the iconic yellow jersey to the race leader for much longer.

So, although the greenYgrey and Tour de France have no direct links or influence on each other, they are meeting this weekend in Leeds and Yorkshire in a time-travel cultural-connection Le Grand Coincidence.

Our ol’ pal Marc Latham of course wrote two articles about the Tour de France and Leeds for Go Nomad and TravelThruHistory.

Leeds and Yorkshire Tour de France Images

There have been some great greenYgrey images this week, as Leeds and Yorkshire prepares for the Tour de France, and here’s a few:

  

Brazil and Columbia Win Satirical Comedy World Cup Report

Brazil won a nail-biting paw-crossing penalty shootout against Chile yesterday, and Julio Cesar, the main greenYgrey goalie of the World Cup, was the top hero. Later, Columbia beat Uruguay with another greenYgrey goalie, David Ospina, making a couple of cracking crucial saves to keep a clean-sheet and help Columbia through to a quarter-final meeting with Brazil on Friday night.

Brazil World Cup 2014 Comedy Satire

Yes folks, it’s got to the stage now where only one of two great greenYgrey goalies can continue on the dust sandy path to World Cup glory, as they meet on Friday night in the quarter-final… unless Columbia choose a change goalie kit, as Brazil’s are both greenYgrey.

Hi, it’s Martin ‘Werewolfie’ Adams, with a satirical comedy football report from Brazil’s World Cup 2014.

Brazil v Chile

Julio Cesar, who has lit up the World Cup making super saves while wearing one of two  great greenYgrey goalie shirts,  made a thrilling reflex save in the second half to help Brazil to a 1-1 draw, before saving the first two penalties in the penalty shoot-out.

Then his goalkeeping skills and great greenYgrey goalie kit (the grey dominant one, although they are both wonderful) might have made Jara aim for the very corner, and he hit the post to give Brazil a 3-2 penalty shoot-out victory.

Here’s some images of Cesar in action; the greenYgrey kit and bib celebrations afterwards; and last but certainly not least, a Brazil fan getting in on the greenYgreying with a World Cup winning trophy holding anthropomorphic costume hugging gYgboo:

Columbia v Uruguay

Julio Cesar will have to be on his best form on Friday, as Columbia have been one of the best teams in the World Cup so far.

James Rodriguez starred in their 2-0 win over Uruguay last night, with his first of two goals especially good; but at the other end David Ospina made a crucial couple of saves to deny Uruguay a way back into the game in the last quarter.

After Columbia’s reserve goalie Mondragon made greenYgrey gYgboo history in their last group match, here’s Ospina making the first of his super saves:

Let the greatest greenYgrey goalie kit win on Friday…

Luis Suarez Biting Theory and Satirical Comedy

While the debate and inquest into the Luis Suarez bite on Giorgio Chiellini in the World Cup 2014 game between Uruguay and Italy dominates the human sporting media we can confirm that Suarez is absolutely not a werewolf.

We can also put forward a theory that Suarez bites instead of punches, and offer possible reasons for his unusual actions.

Luis Suarez not a Werewolf

Hi, it’s Martin ‘Werewolfie’ Adams with a satirical comedy sports round-up virtually from Brazil.

Suarez showed no signs of the stereotypical werewolf change before biting Chiellini, and it was not a full moon last night. He could be a vampire who has learnt to live in daylight as well as dark, although that also looks unlikely, as he didn’t try to drink any blood.

Bad Research

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Bad researchers not knowing much about Suarez, and his previous two cases of biting, might put it down to jealousy, with the Uruguayan star player envious of Chiellini’s handsome Romanic looks.

Others might put it down to the heat of the moment, or a provocative act to try and get the opposing player sent off when they react, but his first biting incident for Ajax v P.S.V. was after the final whistle had blown.

With the Ivanovic incident, while playing for Liverpool v Chelsea, Suarez didn’t seem to claim he’d been hit by Ivanovic; maybe he would have done if Ivanovic had swung an arm more.

Suarez did seem to claim being hit by Chiellini when he swung an arm to push Suarez away in yesterday’s game.

Suarez Bites Instead of Punching

Although Suarez has been in lots of trouble on the football field, with three biting incidents and a racism allegation, we can’t remember him having an actual fight; and throwing punches.

We don’t know if Suarez thinks he is more likely to get away with a bite than a punch, or that a bite is more effective, or if he is actually trying to provoke the other player into a reaction, or if he just enjoys biting.

We can say in a good research way, from the evidence we have, that Suarez bites rather than punching.

Suarez is considered one of football’s biggest geniuses using a ball, and maybe it is that part of the brain that allows him to see things other players don’t, that also makes him interact with other players in a way that other players don’t.

World Cup Football and Ascot Ladies Day Fashion

An ab fab sporting summer is continuing with World Cup 2014 football in Brazil starring, the Wimbledon tennis tournament starting on Monday, and the Ascot horse racing meeting finishing today. It was ladies day at Ascot on Thursday, and there was some great greenYgrey fashion there, while Brazil continues to lead the greenYgrey fashion stakes in their World Cup.

Hi, it’s Stella Lagerwolf-Bruno and Paco Wolfsang with a double-header satirical comedy sports fashion report from Brazil and Blighty.

In a great greenYgrey balanced sports report we are therefore mixing men’s and women’s fashion, to try and maintain gender equality, and with no hint of any sexuality.

Brazil World Cup Fashion

Hi, it’s Stella virtually live from Brazil, inspired by Stella McCartney (who we love, in a darling way), Karl Lagerfeld (ambivalent darling), Bruno (love darling), wolves and lager.

Brazil’s Julio Cesar continues to lead the greenYgrey fashion stakes way in Brazil, with a great greenYgrey goalie shirt, but he’s being pushed closely by a member of the Brazilian defence, Dani Alves, who has dyed his hair grey. Blending in with the green and yellow of his shirt it creates a great greenYgrey effect.

Cesar and Alves helped Brazil achieve a clean sheet as they drew 0-0 with Mexico.

World Cup Kits

There are lots of other greenYgreyesque goalie shirts on view at the World Cup, with most mostly green, and others mostly grey.

Iran kept a clean sheet with their latter such shirt in their first game, and Switzerland won their first game 2-1 with theirs.

However, despite Benaglio’s fine penalty save, Switzerland went down 5-2 to France last night.

Iran’s goalie is likely to be busy tonight as well, as they face Argentina.

That’s about it from me, and I’ll now hand you over to the capable hands of Paco over in Blighty.

Ascot Ladies Day Fashion

Hi, it’s Paco, inspired by Paco Rabanne, who makes exceedingly good perfumes etc. While a lot of you might think Stella got the best assignment, virtually travelling to Brazil, it is winter in the southern hemisphere, while it is summer in the northern; although it’s hot all year round in northern Brazil, as it’s close to the equator.

The sunny weather we’ve been enjoying in Blighty this month certainly brought the ladies out blossoming at Ascot, and together with the racecourse foliage this created some great greenYgrey fashion.

Here’s a couple of ab fab examples of the great new greenYgrey image, followed by an ab fab classic greenygrey:

Kimberly Garner, photo by Rex.

Pic: Hugh Routledge//REX

There’s loads of great sport to gamble on over the next fortnight, but it’s only for over-18s (in the U.K. anyway), and please gamble responsibly.

World Cup 2014 Brazil Opening Day Highlights

World Cup 2014 got off to a colourful start in Brazil yesterday, and we’re delighted that green, yellow and grey were prominent, giving the greenYgrey brand a great global boost. J-Lo was the star of the opening ceremony, and Julio Cesar of the opening game… in the greenYgrey world…

Hi, it’s Martin ‘Werewolfie’ Adams, returning with a satirical comedy update about World Cup 2014 following yesterday’s preview.

The Opening Ceremony

The opening ceremony had lots of great greenYgreyness, with the football opening into a stage containing J-Lo and other singers my favourite.

Getty images from Metro.co.uk

Brazil v Croatia

The greenYgreyness continued during the Brazil v Croatia match, with Brazil goalie Julia Cesar starring in a spectacular greenYgrey kit.

The Brazil team is known for attacking not defending, so it was no surprise when Croatia scored after ten minutes.

Cesar was not at fault, and went on to help Brazil to a 3-1 win with some great and important saves, showing he’s well worthy of wearing the greenYgrey.

World Cup 2014 Brazil Kick-Off

The football World Cup 2014 kicks off tonight in Brazil, and one thing’s for sure, there’ll be lots of greenYgreying going on, what with the Brazilian flag and kit including two of the three essential elements, and the Brazilian coaches often wearing grey tracksuits.

Hi, it’s Martin ‘Werewolfie’ Adams, comedy satire sports correspondent at the greenYgrey inspired by darts legend Martin ‘Wolfie’ Adams.

Brazil World Cup 2014 

JK statue at Brasilia DF, Brasil, after FIFA’s announcement of Brazil as host country to World Cup 2014 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

World cup 2014 starts with the hosts entertaining Croatia tonight at 21.00 G.M.T.

On Friday the pick of the games is Netherlands v Spain, then on Saturday it’s England v Italy.

That’s subjective of course, and doesn’t mean they’ll be the best games.

Mexico v Cameroon and Chile v Australia will be the top games for fans of those four countries on Friday, and they may provide better games.

On Saturday, the same is true for Columbia v Greece and Uruguay v Costa Rica before the late game.

World Cup History 

The World Cup of course plays a big part in Greenygrey/greenYgrey history. The Grand Council took over the Greenygrey world in 2010 after stating it wasn’t happy with the Greenygrey’s World Cup predictions accuracy.

As still described on the Australia Traveller blog, Greenygrey was then divided, with Green imprisoned while Grey was deported to Oz. They didn’t know Y at the time.

This of course led to Grey’s epic Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps book, after Green escaped the Grand Council’s clutches, and Grey returned to the liberated Greenygrey world.

Link for Amazon book and kindle.

Link for multiple Ereaders at Smashwords.