Free to download in July for 10th anniversary: a book with an eco message showing the nice side of wolves to counter the historic demonising, with a Wizard of Oz fantasy theme mixed with the factual forced migration of British children around the Commonwealth for a century, which had recently been told in the book/film Oranges and Sunshine.
Book summary blurb on Smashwords:
Rebel without a cause, werewolf without claws, Grey travels across all regions of Oz (Australia) in a comedy-fantasy parody of the Wizard of Oz. It is not witches that hunt the protagonist for a ruby slipper, but monotheists desperate to get their hands on an emerald cork hat. There’s no scarecrow, tin man and cowardly lion searching for brain, heart and courage; instead, we have Elle McPherson, Angry Anderson and Bon Scott inspired characters needing a body, mind and spirit confidence boost. Will Grey and the intrepid travellers elude their pursuers and reach their destination? This book provides amazing action and surreal comedy in poetry and prose before reaching a cohesive and thrilling ending.
Smashwords explained: The ebooks on Smashwords can be read online using online readers, or they can be downloaded to other reading devices such as the iPhone, Amazon Kindle, Barnes & Noble Nook, or to other ereading devices.
Holly Willoughby Celebrity Juice fans had some bad news this week, with HW pulling out of the show, putting it at risk of ending. This blog post provides similar humour, that I thought of before that news.
WoO did of course star another hoochie coochie Holly: Miss Valance, who became Mrs. Candy that year (2012). The Wizard of Oz theme travellers encountered a Simpsons/South Park-style Holly Valance in the real town of Riddell’s Creek, inspiring the Best and Scrumptious Bubble and Squeak riddle storyline, previously posted on this very website.
Best of luck to them all, and I hope you enjoy the image/book if you hear of them!!
As the sun sets on Australia Day
in Africa, Europe and the U.K.,
but is still shining bright
in Latin America, Canada and the U.S.A.
it’s time for the last episode in the serialisation of the satirical comedy classic travel quest epic Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps.
Werewolf of Oz Thrilling Conclusion
Hi, it’s Greenygrey. Yes, that means you get to find out what the commotion out at sea that only Grey could see…
really was; as well as reading a couple more little literary nonsense poems and one more example of classic comedy wordplay.
I’m sure you can’t wait, so I’ll let you get on with your virtual rambling. Thanks for following the epic journey, and the book is still available from the links below it, with no plans to discount its price this year.
Chapter 142. The End: of the Werewolf of Oz Era
It was Tazzy! I squawked with joy before flying down to meet him; whereupon I changed back into a more recognisable werewolf form. We greeted before I asked him what he was doing here.
Tazzy said he often swam up this way; after all, it is the Tasman Sea.
I laughed, before exclaiming, ‘Of course!’ The last riddle of the ramble had been solved… as far as I was concerned. What about you?
I now felt free to return to the Greenygrey world.
Tazzy was continuing north, so I shapeshifted into a dolphin-friendly tuna and swam with him.
We swam side by side
until he dived beneath
to turn around
at top of Barrier Reef;
my original Oz
we happily said goodbye
finality’s welcome relief.
I jumped out of the water and shapeshifted into a wedge-tailed eagle for the long flight back to a long awaited reunion with Green in the Greenygrey world.
Two years in the writing
sometimes flying, mostly hiking
Werewolf of Oz kept moving
experiencing, shapeshifting, grooving.
It’s goodbye to the Werewolf of Oz week at the Greenygrey, with just one episode to go in the epic 142-episodes serialisation of the first ever fictionalised virtual travel around Australia by Google maps.
In the words of the almightyAbba, breaking up is never easy, but like them, we’ll still be working with WoO.
Knowing Me, Knowing WoO, Photos for You
Hi, it’s Baron Wolfman, creative department head honcho in the absence of the legendary Andy Wolfhol. First of all, William Wolfsworth has done some further research, and clarified that the Parcel Force van logo mentioned in the last mirror poetry blog is ‘making red vans green’.
Your very own travel photos are always good for a trip down memory lane, and it’s no different for virtual travel.
That’s what Grey (as part of the reunited Greenygrey) told me this morning anyway, after a couple of greenygrey photos it saw on Facebook reminded it of the Greycliffe House mouse it met in Sydney. The poem is repeated after the photos.
Virtual Travel Photos: Virtually Greycliffe House
That photo was posted on Facebook rather fittingly for Goodbye to WoO week by the R.I.P. (Research and Investigation of the Paranormal) Files T.V. show, which I noticed has a greenygrey design when I followed it up.
Virtual Travel Photos: Greycliffe House Mouse
And if that house could be Greycliffe House, this could be the mouse, showing its support for the Greenygrey! It was posted on Facebook by the Rainforest Site.
It reminded me of Jerry, from the fantastic Tom and Jerry cartoons I grew up with.
With the main story denouement seemingly over, you might have forgotten about the commotion out at sea that only Grey could see, as it didn’t feature in the bombastic Battle of Bri’s bane.
Yes, like many a great book and film, usually when the baddie is not quite finished, there’s one final twist just as everything seems to be concluded and peaceful.
Chapter 141. Solo Traveller Once Again, Like When it all Began
So my epic journey had really ended, and all was well. The Great Dame of Oz left to go on a world tour, so Angry, Elle and Cathy were going to stay in the mansion indefinitely. I’m sure they had bright Emerald futures ahead of them; now they had regained their body, mind and spirit confidence.
Once More unto the Sea
I knew I could return to the Greenygrey world now, but felt there was something else I needed to do. I thought I should visit the Tasman Sea one last time.
So I said cheerio to everybody and everything in Emerald. There were especially long farewells with my three long-term travel companions and my favourite Oz hat couple. Then it was time to go solo once more; returning to my status upon arrival in Oz.
I shapeshifted into a bird of paradise,
and set off once more for the seaside.
I flew with the wind to the east,
for an hour and a half at least,
arriving at the sea over Deception Bay,
I thought there must be another way,
so I headed south and landed next to a jay,
in a place I liked the sound of: Bramble Bay.
I asked the jay, whose name was Jay,
whether it had seen anything untoward astray.
Jay said nothing unusual had happened all day.
Seeing a Sea Commotion
Everything did seem absolutely normal, and I began to wonder if I’d wasted my time making this diversion. But then:
I saw a commotion out at sea
and wondered what it might be.
The commotion was not only there; it was approaching the beach at a phenomenal speed. I asked Jay if it could see it. It said yes, it could.
I wondered what it could be: Was it more acid-rain? Could it be the MoMo East returning from the deep? Or was it Smiggin Holes escaped from its deep hole? Was there one more test I had to put my exhausted bird-brain through?
The commotion reached the shallows. I could now make out a head and arms. I thought I recognised who it was… but surely it couldn’t be… could it?
It continued swimming to the shallows, and then emerged onto the beach.
The body, mind and spirit of the Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Mapsreacted quickly to the disappointment of the Grand Dame in the last episode, and in today’s third from last chapter in the book, they receive confirmation that they do not need any additional help: they already have the qualities they feel they lack.
Body, Mind and Spirit
At the end of the Wizard of Oz, thescatty Scarecrow receives a diploma after searching for a brain, the cowardly Lion gets a medal for courage and the Tin Man has a pocket watch after looking for a heart.
In this episode of the Werewolf of Oz Elle, Angry and Cathy are told by the Good Witch of the story, Mildly Monotheistic Moby, that they have restored all the body, mind and spirit they’ll need.
The Greenygrey world had been taken over by the Grand Council at the start of the book, but had been liberated by the end, and this is referred to at the end of this chapter/episode. The ending of this episode also throws a cat among the pigeons; or hat among the Werewolf of Ozzers in this case.
Chapter 140. Moby tells it as it is, Which is…
We were about to leave, when a porcelain pod came around the corner, and MiMo Moby emerged from it. We were ecstatic, and greeted him with gusto; he seemed equally pleased to see us.
I told him the Dame had been a disappointment, so Angry, Cathy and Elle were uncertain of their future in Oz, and I didn’t know if I could return to the Greenygrey world.
Moby Pep Talk
MiMo looked at us all, and then back at Elle, before saying, ‘Why, Elle had body issues when she joined you; she had lost all her strength. But she has been using her body with great dexterity throughout the Ozyssey, and now has her confidence back.’
I had to agree. Elle leapt into the air with joy.
‘And Angry was letting the Neighbours’ opinions of his mind get to him; making him feel inadequate. But he has been using fantastic judgement all through the epic adventure, and working well within your travel team.’
Once more, I had to agree. Angry sang a celebratory tune he spontaneously created.
‘And Cathy was in low spirits when you met; but freedom, movement, natural space, friendship, being valued and success have helped lift her spirits since joining your epic adventure; and also raised yours at crucial times in this rousing ramble.’
Yet again, I had to agree. Cathy saluted the sun.
‘And you, Grey, you have reached your destination, and helped bring the hats of hope home to Emerald. Deep down you know you have the power to return to Green whenever you want. The Greenygrey world is free again; as free as Emerald.’
I thanked MiMo Moby for everything, and we all said hearty farewells before he disappeared around the corner in his porcelain pod. Not long after, Brian arrived from the same direction.
And as the Wizard turned out to be a bit of a disappointing fake in the Wizard of Oz, there’s disappointment for the Werewolf of Ozzers when they meet the Great Dame of Oz.
However, as in the Wizard of Oz where the Wizard of Ozzers are told they don’t need the help of a wizard; as they already have the qualities they feel lacking; in the Werewolf of Oz the body, mind and spirit soon recover. Enjoy chapter 139 of 142…
After it settled down in Emerald I asked Emily if she remembered what MiMo Moby said back in Meekatharra many moons ago; about a Great Dame of Oz at the end of the dust sandy path who could reunite me with Green once again.
Emily said she did remember, and knew exactly what MiMo had meant; she would take us to meet the Dame straight away.
It wasn’t far away; just a couple of blocks to a big mansion in the centre of Emerald. Emily knocked on the door with one of her corks. It wasn’t long before a large grumpy man answered it.
He bellowed, ‘What do you want?’ at us in a rude manner.
‘Ah, hello,’ said Emily, ‘MiMo Moby told this werewolf friend of mine that the Great Dame of Oz should be able to help it. Is she here?’
The man did not seem impressed, but said he’d see if she was around.
The Great Dame of Oz
A woman arrived a few minutes later; she looked like she could be the sister of the man… or even the same person!
‘Hello possums,’ she said, ‘what can I do for you?’
I told her about my conversation with MiMo Moby, and said we were all still quite lost, despite learning a lot on our epic Ozyssey.
She said she’d love to help, and used to do such things, but she was too busy now that she’d become an international giga-star.
Body, Mind and Spirit Work Together Again
I looked at my travel companions; they seemed to share my disappointment. I wondered if my epic ramble had reached an anti-climactic dead-end, and I would never see Green and the Greenygrey world again.
I was about to suggest leaving, when Cathy spoke up in a spirited way, telling the Dame that that was no way to talk to us. Angry seemed to have been thinking about it as well, because he soon added, ‘You’re not even really the Dame, you were a rude man when you answered the door just now.’ Then Elle used her body to great effect by slamming the door shut.
As 2014 gets well under way you would be forgiven for forgetting all about the serialisation of what we think was 2013’s greatest satirical comedy werewolf travel quest across Australia serial: our very own Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps(please look up ‘satire’ if you were offended by that!).
Ashes Over, Endeavour Everest Back for More
First of all we’d like to congratulate the Aussie cricket team for winning the Ashes series 5-0. The England and Wales team had won it three times in a row, so it was becoming a bit boring. Hopefully E&W will bounce back next series.
As the E&W Ashes win in Australia during 2010/11 is remembered in the Greenygrey world as the WoO series, as it took place when Grey was on its epic Ozyssey, this series will be remembered as the Boomerang Ashes, after the Aussies returned to form with their oldest secret weapon.
In the accompanying photo, Aussie series hero, Mitchell Johnson, is celebrating the Ashes win with the first recorded cricketing upside-down boomerang. The first photo showed Johnson in the more conventional boomerang pose.
The above was inspired by the 1932/33 Ashes being remembered as the Bodyline Ashes, because of the number of bouncers bowled by the Aussies.
Secondly, good news if you missed the third Endeavour: Everest episode featured on this blog last week, with a balloon ride over Everest from base camp at Gokyo, because it is back on the BBC iplayer until January 14th (only available in U.K. as far as we know).
Wizard of Oz and Alice in Wonderland
This episode of the Werewolf of Oz, the fifth from last, combines the two biggest influences on the book, Wizard of Oz and Alice in Wonderland, with the real Australian towns of Oakey, Dalby, Roma, Orion and Springsure between Brisbane and Emerald.
On the way, there is an emotional return to Chinchilla. Enjoy!
138. Following the Dust Sandy Path to Emerald
There was a succulent start to the journey, orienteering through an okay oak forest outside Oakey before devouring a delicious dal dinner in Dalby.
Chinchilla is a Killer… Emotionally
It was Chinchilla next, and I prepared myself for an emotional return. I was not disappointed, with chinchillas lining the streets of Chinchilla as we passed. I saw an old chinchilla rush out of the crowd and hug a COG member. When the COG soldier turned around I was delighted to see the name Cilla Chinchilla on her jacket.
Cilla had survived
and achieved her task.
Now I hoped
she’d have time to bask.
Roma, Orion and Spring
We roamed through Roma, before it turned dark over Orion; which was good timing, as there was a belting night sky there. Then it seemed like it was spring for sure in Springsure, as everything was green. It became evermore evergreen as we neared Emerald.
I asked Emily how everything was so green, and she said these were the Alician Fields. They are a natural wonderland for those who have turned the world upside down to improve it before returning it the right way up; where sparkling spring water irrigates the earth from underground, and the sun always shines above.
I thought nothing could equal the Alician Fields, but Emerald sparkled like the finest precious stone; the town and fields complemented each other like a jewel on silk.
Hats filled the air when Brian and Emily reached Emerald, and our leaders soon joined in with the hatrobatics.
The Elysian Fields of Greek mythology were a heavenly paradise for heroic warriors.
Oakey, Dalby, Roma, Orion and Springsure are real places.
The Ashes 2013/14 series has reached its final destination, and it will soon be time for the England and Wales cricket team to say their farewells and head home. The Werewolf of Ozzers are also reaching that point in our serialisation of their epic virtual travel quest to all regions of what is known as Australia in the human world.
Sydney Memories Emerald Future
Australia are in control of the fifth Ashes test in Sydney, while poetry seemed to take control of the Werewolf of Ozzers in Sydney, with Bronte and Greycliffe House inspiring some literary nonsense sublime rhymes.
This episode has final farewells to the friends made along the Oz way, before Emily the Emerald Cork Hat returns those that remain to the book’s Wizard of Oz-inspired final destination: as the Wizard of Ozzers reached their final destination in the Emerald City, the Werewolf of Ozzers end up in the real Australian town of Emerald.
Chapter 137. Saying Goodbye, and Finding a New Path
After everybody and everything had their bellies full of buns, Emily and Brian addressed us all; it was nice of them to give us a house.
They also said the locality would now be known as Brisbane, and the region would be called Queensland; in memory of those who had taken part in the battle. They ended by thanking us for freeing Brian from his bane.
The Army Disperses
It was then time to say goodbye to my old friends and comrades, as they departed for home. Captain Dec and Dai were taking Dig, Aus, Vombat and the Collies back to Western Australia, and the cetaceans were swimming that way too. There were of course lots of hugs, and that’s all I’m prepared to write here.
After they left, Emily asked us what we were doing next. I had seen the dust sandy path leading inland, but told Emily I didn’t know if we were still meant to follow it, now that she and Brian were reunited.
Emily said it looked like the dust sandy path was heading their way… to Emerald.
She invited us along,
and it felt right to go,
for in her I could see a glow;
she hadn’t been wrong yet!
Yes, 2013 has been the year of the WoO in the Greenygrey world, and this episode is quite appropriate for celebrating the New Year, as food and merriment inspires Grey to remember his Ozyssey all the way back to its start in Western Australia.
This blog will be posted in time for the first New Year celebrations, with New Zealand and surrounding islands’ entry into 2014 less than two hours away. The new year will then travel across Australia from east to west; the opposite way to that travelled by Grey in its epic virtual travel quest.
Thanks for your visits in 2013 from all of Team GG. Have a Happy New Year, and good luck for 2014.
Chapter 136. Searching for Survivors after Battle of Bri’s Bane
I rose into a mix of joy and relief; sadness and loss. Many had given their lives on Greenslopes. I was relieved that Angry, Cathy and Elle quickly joined me, and to see they were all in good health.
Aussie and Digger soon turned up as well, and were looking swell; Aus said it only received a flesh wound. Then Vombat the Wombat pushed its way through the crowd, with a relieved look on its face.
I could see Brian and Emily with the chinchilla survivors, but where were the Collie twins?
Searching for the Collie Twins
I asked the others if they’d seen the Collies. Digger said they’d been fighting heroically the last time it’d seen them, which was near the end of the battle. None of them had seen the Collies at the end of the battle. I started walking down the hill, looking through the bodies, dreading finding the Collies in a bad state.
A cascade of cheers rolled down from the top of the hill. I looked behind me and was filled with relief: the Collie twins were alive and well, and being carried along by a crowd of chinchillas. I rushed up the hill to them, and saw they were all eating buns.
I made my way through the munching mass, and asked the twins where they’d been.
Ollie was too busy bun-munching above the bunch to hear; but Colin said that after the fighting finished they noticed a rich bun seam had been exposed by all the disruption, so they’d straightaway started bun-mining to feed the hungry survivors. He handed me a freshly mined rough-cut bun.
I laughed and thanked him, before biting into a bun that tasted just as delicious as those I’d eaten in Bunbury.
As I savoured the taste, and memories of Ozyssey evoked, I thought how Bunbury and Bri’s bane were on different sides of Oz, but would be quite close together in a dictionary. I thought there must be a lesson there somewhere, but was too busy bun-munching to brainwave.