Tag Archives: Ashes

England Win Ashes Cricket, Li Na New Year Humour

We hope that Birds of a Feather fans weren’t offended that Harry hypothesised that Grey’s Werewolf of Oz humour was better than the sitcom starring three women.

Birds of a Feather Writers

Hi, it’s Martin ‘Werewolfie’ Adams with a sports round-up… greenygrey style.

Yes, we thought we’d better check who the Birds of a Feather writers are, and were quite relieved to find it’s three men.

So Harry wasn’t saying women can’t be funny in yesterday’s blog. And today I have evidence of a funny woman… although she’s Chinese. Happy Chinese New Year!

Li Na New Year Humour

The direct humour of China’s Li Na, avoiding mock humbleness and grovelling thanks,  although genuine humbleness and heartfelt thanks is nice, is more in line with the Greenygrey’s, as shown in her acceptance speech after winning the Australian Open last week:

It was described as the universally accepted best acceptance speech ever on Yahoo. Even the BBC commentator seemed to like it, although it would probably have been derided in the British media if made by a lower class British woman.

And would a British woman dare make such a speech, after being brainwashed with class, sexism, capitalism and religion from an early age.

Okay, Li Na did thank her agent for making her rich, which is pretty capitalist, and I’m not saying Chinese society is perfect. From the little I know about the modern China, it seems way behind the U.K. and Europe on animal welfare and the environment, although does well with pandas; and human rights often seem ignored too.

However, on gender equality it and other socialist heritage societies, such as in Scandinavia and eastern Europe, seem miles ahead.

England and Wales Women Win Ashes

England and Wales’s women’s cricket team did show the men how to do it though, when they beat the Aussies to win the women’s Ashes.

English: Hobart, Tasmania, Australia Español: ...
English: Hobart, Tasmania, Australia Español: Hobart, Tasmania, Australia (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

They sealed the win in Hobart, Tasmania, where the Werewolf of Ozzers were of course chased by the Tasmanian Tigers, which sometimes looked like Tasmania‘s cricket team and other times like Tasmania’s extinct animal, after Bart Simpson‘s practical joke provoked the Tigers.

I think you’ve been very lucky to have read this quite funny blog for free, but genuine thanks for reading it too; I know there’s a lot of other things to read and do on the web.

Marc Latham has books available on Smashwords and Amazon (http://www.amazon.com/author/marclatham).

Enhanced by Zemanta
Advertisements

Australia Win Boomerang Ashes B4 Werewolf of Oz

As 2014 gets well under way you would be forgiven for forgetting all about the serialisation of what we think was 2013’s greatest satirical comedy werewolf travel quest across Australia serial: our very own Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps (please look up ‘satire’ if you were offended by that!).

Ashes Over, Endeavour Everest Back for More 

First of all we’d like to congratulate the Aussie cricket team for winning the Ashes series 5-0. The England and Wales team had won it three times in a row, so it was becoming a bit boring. Hopefully E&W will bounce back next series.

As the E&W Ashes win in Australia during 2010/11 is remembered in the Greenygrey world as the WoO series, as it took place when Grey was on its epic Ozyssey, this series will be remembered as the Boomerang Ashes, after the Aussies returned to form with their oldest secret weapon. 

In the accompanying photo, Aussie series hero, Mitchell Johnson, is celebrating the Ashes win with the first recorded cricketing upside-down boomerang. The first photo showed Johnson in the more conventional boomerang pose.

The above was inspired by the 1932/33 Ashes being remembered as the Bodyline Ashes, because of the number of bouncers bowled by the Aussies.

Secondly, good news if you missed the third Endeavour: Everest  episode featured on this blog last week, with a balloon ride over Everest from base camp at Gokyo, because it is back on the BBC iplayer until January 14th (only available in U.K. as far as we know).

Wizard of Oz and Alice in Wonderland 

Presbyterian Church at Springsure, Queensland.
Presbyterian Church at Springsure, Queensland. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This episode of the Werewolf of Oz, the fifth from last, combines the two biggest influences on the book, Wizard of Oz and Alice in Wonderland, with the real Australian towns of Oakey, Dalby, Roma, Orion and Springsure between Brisbane and Emerald.

On the way, there is an emotional return to Chinchilla. Enjoy!

138.  Following the Dust Sandy Path to Emerald  

English: Dalby Regional Council customer servi...
English: Dalby Regional Council customer service centre at Chinchilla, Queensland, formerly the Chinchilla Shire Council offices (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There was a succulent start to the journey, orienteering through an okay oak forest outside Oakey before devouring a delicious dal dinner in Dalby.

Chinchilla is a Killer… Emotionally

It was Chinchilla next, and I prepared myself for an emotional return. I was not disappointed, with chinchillas lining the streets of Chinchilla as we passed. I saw an old chinchilla rush out of the crowd and hug a COG member. When the COG soldier turned around I was delighted to see the name Cilla Chinchilla on her jacket.

Cilla had survived
and achieved her task.
Now I hoped
she’d have time to bask.

Roma, Orion and Spring 

Australiana: a cork hat on a sixpack of VB
Australiana: a cork hat on a sixpack of VB (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

We roamed through Roma, before it turned dark over Orion; which was good timing, as there was a belting night sky there. Then it seemed like it was spring for sure in Springsure, as everything was green. It became evermore evergreen as we neared Emerald.

I asked Emily how everything was so green, and she said these were the Alician Fields. They are a natural wonderland for those who have turned the world upside down to improve it before returning it the right way up; where sparkling spring water irrigates the earth from underground, and the sun always shines above.

Elysian Fields by Carlos Schwabe, 1903
Elysian Fields by Carlos Schwabe, 1903 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I thought nothing could equal the Alician Fields, but Emerald sparkled like the finest precious stone; the town and fields complemented each other like a jewel on silk.

Hats filled the air when Brian and Emily reached Emerald, and our leaders soon joined in with the hatrobatics.

—————————————————————————————————-

Notes

The Elysian Fields of Greek mythology were a heavenly paradise for heroic warriors.
Oakey, Dalby, Roma, Orion and Springsure are real places.

—————————————————————————————————-

Link for Amazon book and kindle.
Link for multiple Ereaders at Smashwords.
Link for multiple Ereaders at Smashwords.
Enhanced by Zemanta

Ashes Nears End, Werewolf of Oz Round the Bend

The Ashes 2013/14 series has reached its final destination, and it will soon be time for the England and Wales cricket team to say their farewells and head home. The Werewolf of Ozzers are also reaching that point in our serialisation of their epic virtual travel quest to all regions of what is known as Australia in the human world.

Sydney Memories Emerald Future 

Australia are in control of the fifth Ashes test in Sydney, while poetry seemed to take control of the Werewolf of Ozzers in Sydney, with Bronte and Greycliffe House inspiring some literary nonsense sublime rhymes.

EmeraldRailway.JPG
Emerald Railway Station (Wikipedia)

This episode has final farewells to the friends made along the Oz way, before Emily the Emerald Cork Hat returns those that remain to the book’s Wizard of Oz-inspired final destination: as the Wizard of Ozzers reached their final destination in the Emerald City, the Werewolf of Ozzers end up in the real Australian town of Emerald.

Chapter 137.  Saying Goodbye, and Finding a New Path

After everybody and everything had their bellies full of buns, Emily and Brian addressed us all; it was nice of them to give us a house.

The Ashes Urn
The Ashes Urn (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

They also said the locality would now be known as Brisbane, and the region would be called Queensland; in memory of those who had taken part in the battle. They ended by thanking us for freeing Brian from his bane.

The Army Disperses

It was then time to say goodbye to my old friends and comrades, as they departed for home. Captain Dec and Dai were taking Dig, Aus, Vombat and the Collies back to Western Australia, and the cetaceans were swimming that way too. There were of course lots of hugs, and that’s all I’m prepared to write here.

Land of Oz
Land of Oz (Photo credit: _rockinfree)

After they left, Emily asked us what we were doing next. I had seen the dust sandy path leading inland, but told Emily I didn’t know if we were still meant to follow it, now that she and Brian were reunited.

Emily said it looked like the dust sandy path was heading their way… to Emerald.
She invited us along,
and it felt right to go,
for in her I could see a glow;
she hadn’t been wrong yet!

Link for Amazon book and kindle.
Link for multiple Ereaders at Smashwords.
Link for multiple Ereaders at Smashwords.
Enhanced by Zemanta

Australia Win 4th Ashes Test in Gillian Taylforth

We hope you had a merry Crimbo, and congratulations to Australia for winning the fourth Ashes test in Melbourne. You may remember that the Werewolf of Ozzers thought it was called Gillian Taylforth, until great teamwork by the body, spirit and mind found its real name and worked out it wasn’t named after Mel Gibson.

Werewolf of Oz Memories 

Holly Valance 1800 Reverse Yoga TVC
Holly Valance 1800 Reverse Yoga TVC (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This allowed the WoOs to tuck into some scrumptious Holly Valance bubble and squeak before they entered the weird time-travel rock town of Kerang-Kerrang. Bonzo decided to stay, and didn’t return for the Battle of Bri’s bane.

Many of the old characters from the trip did return though, and they have not finished their contribution to the tale yet. Today, we have the last part of the epic battle trilogy, with seven exciting chapters of comedy fantasy still to go after that.

Chapter 135.  The Aftermath

Battle of Bri’s Bane Epic Trilogy Poem 3

I lay on the Greenslopes ground
watched by allies all around
Bri’s bane was no more
the acid rain cleansed from floor.

‘We knew not a wolf you would become,’
said Emily’s voice betraying concern,
‘for the bane was not only of Brian’s
but also of wolves and lions.’

‘So wolfsbane is inside you now
but maybe we can work out how
to make you healthy again
I’ll try counting to ten.’

Emily counted to eight
my mood improved to third-rate
on nine I sensed the right line
hearing ten I was fine.

I rose to join the others
my sisters and brothers
in arms and hats we had battled
and Bri’s Bane together tackled.

Link for Amazon book and kindle.
Link for multiple Ereaders at Smashwords.
Link for multiple Ereaders at Smashwords.
Enhanced by Zemanta

Graeme Swann Oz Swansong Shock Announcement

As we once again near the end of Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps, which took over two years of virtual travelling, the England and Wales Ashes tour of Oztralia has claimed its second casualty. Graeme Swann has announced his retirement from cricket.

Graeme Swann Swansong 

English: Graham Swann at Lord's Cricket Ground...
English: Graham Swann at Lord’s Cricket Ground 20th July 2009 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hi, it’s Martin ‘Werewolfie’ Adams, satirical comedy sports correspondent at the Greenygrey.

Unfortunately Graeme Swann has announced his immediate retirement from all forms of cricket.

Swann is getting on in cricketing age, and has been out of form on the England and Wales Ashes tour, which the Aussies lead 3-0 (just realised that now won makes a nice palindrome… before then realising it was a mistake… but didn’t want to waste it!).

Swann becomes the second travelling casualty of the Ashes tour, after Jonathon Trott returned home due to mental health issues.

Werewolf of Oz Swan Lake Tragedy 

Swan Lake
Swan Lake (Photo credit: Cindy Andrie)

Swann’s retirement is poignant for the Greenygrey, after the Werewolf of Oz featured a Swan Lake tragedy, with the loss of Kalbarri Barry and family in Swan Lake, N.S.W.

The 5th Ashes test will be in N.S.W., but before that, there’s the 4th test in Melbourne, Victoria.

 

Link for Amazon book and kindle.
Link for multiple Ereaders at Smashwords.
Link for multiple Ereaders at Smashwords.
Enhanced by Zemanta

Oz Werewolf Brisbane B4 Perth Ashes Finish

Reports that Australia is changing the Queensland capital’s name from Brisbane to Kevsbane after Kevin Pietersen said nobody had heard of it outside Australia before the first Ashes test (and well after the momentous Battle of Bri’s bane) may never surface into the human world.

English: Brisbane at night from Mount Coot-tha
English: Brisbane at night from Mount Coot-tha (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

We think it would be a shame anyway, now that everybody must finally know about Brisbane!

Ashes Series Nearly Burnt Out

Hi, it’s Martin ‘Werewolfie’ Adams, satirical comedy sports correspondent at the Greenygrey, with a wacky pitch-side report from the Waca, Perth, Western Australia; WA where the WoO all began; before the latest episode of the Werewolf of Oz begins.

cog
cog (Photo credit: plenty.r.)

Yes, the Ashes series could be all over tomorrow (later today in human Oz), with England and Wales needing to bat out the day to have a chance of drawing the series. Australia are 2-0 up, and in the ascendancy in the third test.

So we thought we’d rush this week’s (not the This Week featured in yesterday’s episode!) first thrilling episode of Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps out today.

Brisbane, Brisbane So Good They Named it Bri’s Bane

I hope you like the headline’s little pastiche of the New York, New York song. Yes, in this thrilling episode you will not only get to know Brisbane, but also some of its coolest named neighbourhoods.

I think it provides the perfect warm-up for the cricket’s tense situation, as Emily the Emerald Cork Hat and Brian the Baggy Green lead the Werewolf of Ozzers and COG on the final march to battle with Bri’s bane.

Chapter 132.  The Climb to Bri’s Bane Greenslopes without Ropes

Three hours after leaving Chinchilla we received word that a rock fall had blocked the tunnel. Colin and Ollie were informed, and soon raced ahead to clear the way. Their colliering skills meant we surfaced at The Gap gap on schedule. The sun was reaching its apex as the COG led us into the daylight of our destiny. I had faded to grey, and felt comfortable that way.

English: Mt Coot-tha and the television towers...
English: Mt Coot-tha and the television towers – as seen from The Gap, Brisbane ( this photograph was taken by Figaro ) Category:Images of Brisbane (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Emily and Brian led the COG commandos at the head of our line; I had never seen such courage from a pair of hats. Although they shone with a golden hue when first meeting again, nobody could accuse them of being yella in a cowardly way.

Talking of yellow, I was missing Emily not being on my head, with the scorching sun sizzling my sight and cooking my cranium! It was a relief when we reached some tree cover.

We covertly met a covert of coots in the Mount Coot-Tha forest, and they escorted us easterly to rendezvous with a python called Pilly; it showed us a short-cut through a secret door at Indooroopilly.

indooroopilly bridges
indooroopilly bridges (Photo credit: bertknot)

Arriving at Greenslopes for the Battle of Bri’s bane 

Emerging through the outdoor, a river lay below us. Churchilla said it was Bri’s bane’s main defensive line. I couldn’t imagine how all the furry little chinchillas were going to cross the river. I was in for another nice surprise.

When we arrived at the river I saw that more of my West Coast friends were in it: Winona, Walter, Wendy, William and Dweezil whale sharks; and Dolly the Dolphin. Moreover, there was also a ship moored there that seemed to ooze decorum amongst all the bedlam. I should have guessed who was skippering it, but I hadn’t seen him for a few months.

Greenslopes SCIP - after
Greenslopes SCIP – after (Photo credit: Brisbane City Council)

‘Hello, Grey, my ol’ matey, how’s it going?’ roared a voice from the deck. It was none other than our ol’ skipper, Captain Dec O’ Rum. I told him I was doing fine, and it was great to see him, before asking where Dai ‘on the Seas’ was. Dec said Dai’d sailed in with him the previous day, but had gone into town looking for wine and women, and hadn’t returned yet.

It was a magnificent morale booster to see them all again, and a renewed confidence surged through me. After introductions and hugs they helped us cross the river.

Although it was a relief that we’d all traversed the water safely, arriving on the other side felt like being on the sharp end of a double-edged sword; because we were now at the foot of Greenslopes, with battalions of Bri’s bane protecting the peak.

————————————————————————

Notes

The Gap is a Brisbane suburb; as is Indooroopilly.

————————————————————————

Link for Amazon book and kindle.
Link for multiple Ereaders at Smashwords.
Link for multiple Ereaders at Smashwords.

 

Enhanced by Zemanta

Football Applauds Nelson Mandela, Ashes and Tim Krul

Over the weekend, football players and fans in Britain had a minute’s applause for South Africa’s Nelson Mandela, as they did for Fabrice Muamba two seasons ago. I hope Peter Herbert was watching, although he’s not interested in football, so probably wasn’t.

Ashes Second Test Censored 

Fabrice Muamba Tribute
Fabrice Muamba Tribute (Photo credit: Ronnie Macdonald)

Hi, it’s Martin ‘Werewolfie’ Adams with a satirical comedy sports round-up.

We thought about having a photo of Monty Panesar doing the boomerang in the second Ashes test, but after the Aussies were called racist for doing a Monty Panesar Sikh Tellytubbies skit we decided against.

However, if we then only include ‘white’ people, we could be accused of being racist in that way.

So, we have decided not to cover the second Ashes test, which the Australians won in Adelaide, home of AusRuIcket, to take a 2-0 lead.

Tim Krul Player of the Month 

English: Stadium Nelson Mandela Bay, in Port E...
English: Stadium Nelson Mandela Bay, in Port Elizabeth, South Africa (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

And finally, great news for the Greenygrey. Tim Krul, the greenygreyest goalie in British football has been voted the English Premier League player of the month for November.

This follows extensive coverage in the Greenygrey, after the new greenygrey Newcastle goalie shirt seems to have raised Krul to heady heights of excellence this season.

Marc Latham has books available on Smashwords and Amazon.

newcastle 2014

Enhanced by Zemanta