Ozzy Osbourne’s animal welfare crimes were the main reason I supported Black Sabbath with Ronnie James Dio during when the two sides went to war in the early 1980s. It was mainly Ozzy who was vitriolic in public, including hanging a Dio effigy on stage.
Ozzy history (Ozory)
I liked Ozzy’s voice, especially his stuff with Sabbath, but also a lot of his solo material, such as on the Blizzard of Oz album. Unfortunately, tragedy followed, as guitarist Randy Rhoads died in a plane crash.
I was down the front at the Monsters of Rock, 1986, when Ozzy headlined. Although I was mainly there to watch second-on-the-bill The Scorpions I loved Ozzy’s set, and especially his endearing stage manner. There was no animal welfare crimes, or other shenanigans, just good humour warmness.
Children of the POP Quorn Sea (or POPSeacorn?)
Ozzy’s reality TV is a mixture of funny entertainment and cringe-inducing stupidity; a big inspiration on me to cut down on my partying; but his dogs show he can be an animal lover too. Tony Iommi should be the media role model from the band, having had a couple of finger tips cut off in a work accident as a youth, and then using thimbles to play the guitar that drove the band to success.
I was glad Black Sabbath animosity declined over time, and to be able to see them back at Donington in 2016. Before that, I included Ozzy in the epic classic Kerang-Kerrang Werewolf of Oz book; part of the biggest sub-plot in the Australian adventure.
However, Ozzy’s affairs were another negative to me, and now I saw this week he’s (or whoever’s controlling the business?) cashing in on his animal head biting by selling a bat with a detachable head.
Batting for Bertie Bat
While ‘influencers’ make fortunes blogging about free products they get, I’m happy to offer an alternative to Ozzy’s bat in Bertie, already sold out at the Dogs Trust charity, but available at the PDSA and Amazon:
Hi, it’s Greenygrey, with the penultimate chapter of the tremendous travel-tale set in the real Victoria, Australia town of Kerang and the rock and metal magazine Kerrang. This chapter is dedicated to the dark lord comic book persona of Ozzy Osbourne, who we weren’t too keen on when he was biting animals’ heads off, but overall he seems a nice character, and a heavy metal legend who has enjoyed renewed success with Black Sabbath this year.
Denise van Outen and Elle McPherson
This chapter also sees Elle come into her own, with some great body action to trip Ozzy up. It reminded us of Denise van Outen, whom we have admired since her days on the Big Breakfast with Johnny Vaughan in the 1990s, which is of course one of the decades of this Kerang-Kerrang travel tale.
Denise has been accused of playing the media celebrity game lately, but Wolf Whitzer hasn’t received any evidence of this from his news sources, so we’re keeping an open mind, and concentrating on her keeping in great shape and admirably showing off her fine legs amongst this stylish greenygreyish outfit.
As we emerged out of the Whiskey a Go-Go I saw a cloaked figure acting suspiciously in the shadows. The next thing, it was barking at the moon, and I became more than a tad worried. Was it some kind of lone-human werewolf?
Ozzy Osbourne’s Blizzard of Ozz
Less than a minute later I felt a chilly wind on my back as a blizzard blew up out of nowhere. The shadowy figure shouted that Oz was no place for a dog, and he was going to take it to Ozz, which had 33.33% more room because of the extra z.
I realised it was the 1980s Ozzy Osbourne. With his reputation for biting the heads off creatures I thought Angry’s dog might be in great peril.
Elle Uses Her Body to Great Effect
My concern seemed justified when Ozzy sprang out of the shadows singing Steal Away (The Night). Angry was still buzzing from his performance and seemed oblivious to Ozzy’s overshadowing omnipotent obtrusiveness.
Ozzy looked certain to reach Angry’s dog and snatch it away to a cold dog’s life in Blizzardy Ozz, until Elle stuck out a leg and tripped him up. A Crazy Train was passing through town on the way to the 1990s, and Elle quickly threw Ozzy on board. I thought it was a great use of her body.
Ozzy seemed impressed as well, and shouted to Elle that it wasn’t too late to join him. Elle responded with a ‘No thanks!’ This prompted Ozzy to sing Goodbye to Romance. I felt sorry for him then, but he seemed to have recovered before disappearing from earshot, as the last thing I heard him sing was, No More Tears.
Ozzy Osbourne and solo band name/album, songs: Blizzard of Ozz, Steal Away (The Night), Crazy Train, Goodbye to Romance, No More Tears.
Hi, it’s Greenygrey. We hope you liked Jack’s brand new little photo saga yesterday, and I can assure you that it was Jack’s work, and not that of G.G. Howling; although Jack said he was inspired by G.G.’s storytelling prowess.
Epic Werewolf Comedy Satire
Talking of storytelling, we thought we’d keep the action going with the next episode of the comedy satire epic Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps.
Chapter 86. Doors and Beatles Play Live in the Italian Job
The 1970s were before Kerang-Kerrang was built, which was probably why it had such a surreal psychedelic atmosphere. Graveyardish backstreets reminiscent of Black Sabbath’s early album covers crossed gaudy technicolor main streets that exiles from the 1960s would have rolled right into without noticing a stone unturned.
Doors of the Italian Job
We thought we’d lost the Grunginator, and strolled through the 1970s as if California Dreamin’ on a winter’s day; until a shot shattered my subconscious slumber. I turned around and saw the Grunginator hot on our tails.
We ducked into a hip looking jive dive by the name of The Italian Job. The Doors were on stage playing Strange Days, and I could relate to the sentiment of the song!
Doors to the Beatles
We found an empty table in a candlelit corner. Jim Morrison started singing My Eyes Have Seen You, which made me paranoid. I blew out the candle, hoping the Grunginator wouldn’t see us if it entered. I felt more at home when the Doors ended their set with The Changeling.
The Beatles took to the stage after the Doors. I hoped they would Help my mood, but just after they started playing I’ll Get You the Grunginator entered.
Rolling Stones album: Exile on Main Street. California Dreamin’ is a Mamas and Papas song.
Doors and Beatles songs explained within the narrative. The Italian Job is a 1969 film.
Hi, it’s Greenygrey. We travelled over sea and mountain looking for ol’ Wolfhol, but alas to no avail; and then when we returned there was another postcard on this blog bearing ol’ Wolfhol’s distinctive and seemingly impossible to forge aW signature.
Werewolf of Oz Rock Time-Travel Tale
Sorry that our wild werewolf wild goose chase kept us from bringing you your usual quota of your favourite veggie werewolf travels Australia to a Wizard of Oz theme comedy satire epic classic Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps.
After the last episode saw the travellers enter the Kerang-Kerrang time-travel town in the 1980s, and Bonzo leaving the adventure, this episode sees Bonzo return; but only for a short visit, with a warning of terrible danger, leading to a Terminator movie theme, and references ranging from the Battle of Waterloo to Faster Pussycat.
Chapter 82. Terminator Livens Up Kerang-Kerrang
The four of us travelled farther into 1980s Kerang-Kerrang. We missed Bonzo, but knew the journey must continue.
Ale Hail Denim and Leather
The streets were full of people wearing denim and leather. The colourful patches sewn onto the backs of the denim supported a mix of traditional and new bands: Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin and Rainbow were common names representing the former, while Saxon, Iron Maiden and Def Leppard were the most popular of the latter.
We strolled down Festivals Street, frequenting the Reading Rocks and Monsters of Rock bars; before moseying along Concert Alley and stopping off in the Bandwagon, Queens, Sophia, Marquee and Apollo.
Bonzo Catches Up with us in LA
Then we headed over to the LA district. As afternoon became evening we found ourselves on Sunset Boulevard. We were getting peckish, so headed over to the Rainbow Bar and Grill, where a promising band called Faster Pussycat was playing.
We’d just polished off some veggie raindogs when Bonzo rushed in. It was a nice surprise and fantastic to see him, but it looked like something was amiss.
Bonzo said he’d remembered something from when he fainted that might be relevant to us: when he was unconscious he dreamt of a robot that would Shoot to Thrill trying to kill us. He couldn’t remember anything else, so didn’t know why or when.
We thanked him for his consideration, and started catching up with all our other news over a few drinks. A couple of hours later it was unfortunately time to say our goodbyes once again, and we all waved Bonzo Back in Black.
Grunge Terminator Shoots Down the Band
We had just finished discussing Bonzo’s vision, and were asking each other why we hadn’t heard more of Faster Pussycat in rock history, when I noticed a lone grungeman walk in looking like something out of another time. The next thing, he started shooting at the band, and didn’t take long to turn it into a House of Pain.
Then he looked around to where we were sitting and took aim at us. Just when I thought we’d met our Waterloo, Dizzy Reed suddenly jumped into the space between us and starting shooting out November Rain from his portable keyboard.
The ’90s trash metal classic startled the grungeman, and that gave Dizzy enough time to usher us out the back. We emerged into an alley, and for the moment at least, made good our escape. I had a momentary sense of relief, but it was tempered by the nagging thought: What the hell is going on!
Grunge music emerged out of Washington state in the late 1980s, and went global in the early 1990s.
Trash metal emerged out of LA in the 1980s, mixing metal, punk and glam. It was later lumped in with ‘hair metal’.
The Battle of Waterloo in 1815 was Emperor Napoleon’s last battle.
Bands, concert halls and festivals explained within the narrative. House of Pain is a Faster Pussycat song. November Rain is a Guns N’ Roses song.
Dizzy Reed is the Guns N’ Roses keyboardist.
Hi, it’s Greenygrey. It’s that end of the weekend time of the week, so it’s time for the second episode of Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps. This is another quick travel episode/chapter told in a literary nonsense poem, eating up the Victorian miles before the Kerang-Kerrang epic thirteen chapters/episodes on the border with New South Wales.
Talking of Oz and 13, congratulations to the British and Irish Lions for their first test win against the Australian Wallabies, and Black Sabbath for their new album titled 13 reaching #1 in several countries, including U.K., U.S.A., Canada and Germany.
Sizzling progress in the morning
eating up the miles from day’s dawning.
Flat out for hours, apart from the sharp bends
by noon we’d reached Kangaroo Flatnorth ends.
Skipped straight through for a meeting at Eaglehawk
with a California Gully who liked to talk.
We wondered if Terrick Terrick,
was named after Terrence Malick? Pyramid Hill pointed to Kow Swamp
where we were in need of a Wee Wee Rup,
and then it was north-west to Kerang
reminding us of a rock magazine called Kerrang.
Terrence Malick (film director).
Kangaroo Flat, Eaglehawk, California Gully, Terrick Terrick, Pyramid Hill, Kow Swamp, Kow Swamp, Wee Wee Rup and Kerang are all real places in north-east Victoria.