More Laughs than a Tickled Hyena in Latest Werewolf of Oz

Hi, it’s Greenygrey. We can’t be bothered creating anything new, so here’s the next thrilling episode of the classic epic comedy-fantasy Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps.

7.  LASSIE COMES HOME TO SAVE THE DAY FOR THE FADE TO GREY

The Collie twins whispered amongst themselves, before telling me they thought my story sounded suspicious. They had heard of the legendary Greenygreys, but one hadn’t been seen in these parts for many a century, and they had never heard of one dividing into Green and Grey.

I was starting to think the game was up, but then the Shetland sheepdog I’d seen earlier returned.

Saved by a Hero

It introduced itself as Lassie, and said that with its fantastic hearing ability it had overheard part of our conversation. Lassie then got me off the hook by telling the Collies that it recognised me as one half of the Greenygrey from I’m A Celebrity Werewolf…Get Me Out of Here. It had been studying the programme on the Full Moon Satellite Channel for a part in an upcoming film, so had taken particular notice.

I then realised it was THE Lassie, legendary Hollywood star. I felt full-on  flabbergastation to have met a fellow celebrity way out in the outback; to be saved by a dog that I’d admired for so long because of its saving ability was like a dream come true.

 

Lassie (2005 film) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Colin and Ollie relaxed once Lassie had saved the day,
and welcomed me to Collie with tails awaggay,
I shapeshifted back, slowly fading to Grey,
we entered the town, with Lassie leading the way.

Collie is Proud of its Colliering

I saw at once how proud Collie is of its colliering. While many of their buns are exported to Bunbury, they also keep enough to feed all the Collie collies.

Lassie took me to some of the finest bunneries Collie has to offer, and we feasted on bunches of buns. I think my favourite was the collar bone collie bun, which was the shape of a collar bone, and came in several different sizes; such as collie, wolf and human.

In the afternoon, we visited the Wellington National Park for a scenic forest and river walk. I was surprised it was so green, and that of course reminded me of my Green other half. I hoped ol’ Green was still okay back home. We frequented the Bunfields Museum in the evening, where there were bun-mining exhibits going back centuries.

Lassie provided shelter that night, and as we chatted until late my plans changed. I’d said I was heading to Perth next, but Lassie suggested I detour to the small town of Latham, which it considered quite interesting.

The name reminded me of our ol’ partner, Marc Latham, so I thought I’d take Lassie’s advice. It’s funny how travel plans can change overnight. Well, maybe not that funny; in humorous terms anyway. Sometimes I forget this is supposed to be a comedy!

 

Laughing cat (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A collie laughing all over (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

English: Mesto Laughing (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A scene of Felix "laughing" from "Felix in Hollywood" (1923). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Laughing Buddha on Feilai Feng in Hangzhou (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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Notes

The town of Collie has a coalfields museum.
I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here (reality television show).

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Grey’s Anatomy Plot Features Lassie and Babe the Pig

Hi, it’s Greenygrey. Here’s the latest episode of Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps, now available in all its wacky quest glory on Amazon.

6.  GREY’S ANATOMY PLOT EXPOSED BY COLLIE TWINS

The barking grew louder as I continued toward town, and then Collie came into view through the hazy heat. I thought I’d take the hint and shapeshift into a collie; choosing a border shape from a surprisingly large choice. When I’d completed the shift, Grey’s anatomy had changed to black and white.

Promotional poster (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Famous Collies on the Edge of Town

As I reached Collie, a Shetland sheepdog rushed past carrying a lassie over its shoulders; it looked like a daring rescue was underway.

HOLLYWOOD, CA - APRIL 15: CBS News correspondent Bill Geist and starlet Lassie attend the CBS News correspondent Bill Geist Hollywood Walk Of Fame Induction Ceremonyon April 15, 2011 in Hollywood, California. (Image credit: Getty Images via @daylife)

A babey pig then flew over my head squealing, ‘Fly – Fly’; followed by another border collie running along underneath.

Babe: Pig in the City (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Meeting the Collie Twins: Colin and Ollie

When I reached the edge of Collie I was met by a couple of dogs guarding the town entrance.

They asked who I might be,
I replied a border collie,
as it should be plain to see.
And who may thee be,
I did respondee.

The bearded one said their names were Colin and Ollie McNab: respected and renowned around these parts as the Collie twins. They said their mother is an Australian stumpy tail cattle dog collie, and their recently departed father was part McNab shepherd collie and part bearded collie.

A three-year-old Bearded Collie in Scotland. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I said it was a pleasure to make their acquaintance.

They apologised for putting me under scrutiny, before explaining that Collie was a big bun-mining town; supplying Bunbury with most of its buns. The benefits of living on top of such a bountiful basement were unfortunately a double-edged sword, as the bun bonanza also attracted desperados desperate to get their meddlesome mitts on the munchable minerals that can be moulded into muffins without needing a Midas touch.

Deutsch: Minikrentenbollen Nederlands: Minikrentenbollen, minibolletje met rozijnen en krenten (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Grey’s Anatomy Plot Exposed

The Collie twins sniffed around my person with sensitive security. I was a little nervous, and this escalated into panic when Colin asked how long I had been a collie.

I didn’t want to fib to such fine upstanding collies, so I explained my situation: how I had shapeshifted into a collie after hearing the barking and seeing the town was called Collie.

I waited with bated breath for the Collie response.

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Notes

lassie – slang for female.
Grey’s Anatomy (TV series).
Babe (film about a pig).
Lassie (dog series and film).

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Werewolf of Oz: More Thrills, Funnies and New Features

Hi, it’s Greenygrey. Here’s the next thrilling episode of our comedy-fantasy classic Werewolf of Oz; which is now available at Amazon and no other leading stores; all updated, with illustrative images, and the ingenious new flashback feature created by the Greenygrey’s one and only Andy Wolfhol.

Grave of . (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

5.  TRAVELLING THE AUSTRALIAn OUTBACK like Kerouac

After awakening into a bright sunny morning I again heard the haunting howling lullabies that seemed to be sailing across the waves and straight down my lugholes.

Dolly and the other dolphins were heading out to open sea, so I wished them luck and bade them farewell before heading towards land.

Smell or Sound, Buns or Hound

My senses were thrown into chaos when I reached the shore.

From the north wafted an aroma that promised breakfast buns, while inland to the east there was a lyrical libretto lullaby that sounded like it could be a lapdog and Labrador rendition of Les Miserables.

Another photo of a black & tan singing dog (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This time, my canine curiosity won the decision of direction debate, and I made a scramble to ramble despite my belly grumbling an’ a rumbling.

Florida Reminder

I took my time as I headed across the South Western Highway. A snake slithering in the opposite direction reminded me of the floor rider in Florida that Green and I met on our North American ramble.

[Flashback to Greenygrey’s Rambles across North America: I was crossing a path, when an Eastern Diamondback Rattlesnake asked who I was; after I explained that I was the Greenygrey, and travelling across North America by land, air and sea, it said it was called Ernie, and it only rode the floor. We talked a little more after that, but nothing important enough to document here, before I headed back to the BEACH.]

There was no communication this time, and the barking of dogs from over the eastern horizon was the only sound that pierced the 360 degree silence.

An hour later, I reached a sign declaring Welcome to the Collie Town Limits. Was the dog sounding town the source of the hound sounds, and the solution to my canine conundrum?

Collie Buddz (album) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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Notes

Jack Kerouac (writer).
Les Miserables (musical).

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Werewolf Grey searches for Collie Dog Twins

Hi, it’s Grey. My blog about the aftermath of Bri’s Bane has appeared on the Oz blog, and we’ve imported it here in super quick time. It was a traumatic time, but there was BUNdles of fun at the end. It is copied below.

We are also excited to tell you that March 20th, the spring/autumn equinox, has been chosen as a release date for the whole edited and improved Werewolf of Oz book on Amazon Kindle. Here’s episode 136 of 142:

I rose into a mix of joy and relief; sadness and loss. Many had given their lives on Greenslopes. I was relieved that Angry, Cathy and Elle quickly joined me, and to see they were all in good health. Aussie and Digger soon turned up as well, and were looking swell; Aus said it had only received a flesh wound. Then Vombat the Wombat pushed its way through the crowd, with a relieved look on its face. I could see Brian and Emily with the chinchilla survivors, but where were the Collie twins?

Searching for the Collie Twins

I asked the others if they’d seen the Collies. Digger said they’d been fighting heroically the last time it’d seen them, which was near the end of the battle. None of them had seen the Collies at the end of the battle. I started walking down the hill, looking through the bodies, dreading finding the Collies in a bad state.

A cascade of cheers rolled down from the top of the hill. I looked behind me and was filled with relief: the Collie twins were alive and well, and being carried along by a crowd of chinchillas. I rushed up the hill to them, and saw they were all eating buns.

I made my way through the munching mass, and asked the twins where they’d been. Ollie was too busy bun-munching above the bunch to hear; but Colin said that when the fighting finished they noticed a rich bun seam had been exposed by all the disruption, so they’d straightaway started bun-mining to feed the hungry survivors. Colin handed me a freshly mined rough-cut bun.

I laughed and thanked him, before biting into a bun that tasted just as delicious as those I’d eaten in Bunbury.

As I savoured the taste, and memories of Ozyssey evoked, I thought how Bunbury and Bri’s bane were on different sides of Oz, but would be quite close together in a dictionary. I thought there must be a lesson there somewhere, but was too busy bun-munching to brainwave.

For the Life of Brian is a Cause worth Dying

Hi, it’s Grey. I just saw that another of my posts from Oz has entered the Greenygrey world, so I wanted to post it here as soon as possible, as it was a very exciting time for me and my story. Enjoy!

Image via Wikipedia

Life of Brian’s Bane below Brisbane

We rushed into the cave, and hurtled through the narrow passages as if time was of the essence. My hat seemed to be getting stronger with every step, and provided enough glow for us to see clearly; it felt like I was wearing a green neon sign pointing ahead.

I started singing ‘Always look on the bright side of life…’ and the others quickly joined in.

Brian the Baggy Green

Then we turned a corner into a cavern complex. It was full of people, animals… and other objects. My hat suddenly flew off and headed straight for a baggy green hat. They met in mid-air, and embraced passionately.

Image via Wikipedia

We looked in awe, as the green reunion shone like a golden wonder.

Life of Brian’s Bane

When they returned to our level, my hat almost knocked me over without touching me, as it spoke for the first time.

It said, ‘Hello Grey, my name is Emily, the Emerald Cork Hat. I am sorry I couldn’t talk to you before, but it would have been too dangerous for you. I had to wait until I was reunited with my other half, Brian the Baggy Green. It was foretold in historic hatlore that a greeny werewolf Halfling would survive a hat-trick of green tasks before reuniting the hats of hope here in the Emerald Beach cave. The union of green would lead to a top hat age of unpolluted peace and prosperity.’

I said, ‘It’s nice to talk, and it’s no problem about the previous lack of communication, but there is just one thing, for I am Grey.’

Emily seemed to smile, before asking me if I’d seen myself lately.

I looked down and was totally shocked to see that I was green all over. I had become green in the Emerald Cave without even realising it. It felt like a landmark moment, and I now felt confident I could achieve anything; just like I always think Green can. I felt like bouncing around the cave like a spring green.

However, Emily quickly brought me down to earth with a warning, ‘There are still great tests ahead, and we will require your services again if you want to remain with us. We are heading north to our destiny; a war to end all wars. For Brian it is the bane of his life. If you join us, I’m sure we can win this one last great battle, and all return to the lives we desire.’

For the Life of Brian

I looked around at my travel companions, and they all nodded in unison. I had not doubted them. I told Emily we would be proud to join her in the battle of Bri’s bane.

She thanked us, before inviting us to join the crowd in the cavern. She told me she thought I’d recognise a few faces.

Meeting Old Friends

Image via Wikipedia

There were indeed some familiar faces. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw Digger the Dingo and Aussie the Australian Shepherd dog, two of the first friends I made on the trip. After catching up with my old buddies I introduced them to Angry, Cathy and Elle; because I hadn’t even met them when I met ol’ Dig and Aus. It all seemed such a long time ago now, and strange to think that I had landed in Oz all alone.

I was just getting over the surprise of Dig and Aus when there was a tap on my shoulder. When I looked around it was yet another of my dear ol’ friends from early in the journey: the very venerable Vombatus Ursinus. It was great to see it looking swell. Vombat the Wombat joined our circle and soon got to know everybody and everything.

Image via Wikipedia

Mine’s a Large One

I was just about half way through telling Vombat about my journey when the walls started to rumble, and some rocks broke off. Everybody looked at the epicentre with anticipation, while beginning to take guard. I wondered if it was a bulldozing blitz by Bri’s bane.

A hole started to appear, and everybody tensed. As more rocks fell a paw emerged, and then the identity of the new arrivals was revealed. Why, it was none other than Colin and Ollie, the collie collier twins from Collie.