Hi, it’s Greenygrey. In today’s thrilling episode of comedy satire epic Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps Dizzy explains the background to the Terminator time-travel goings on in Kerang–Kerrang in a classic example of the show don’t tell writing technique.
This involves travelling forward into the 1990s, and the arrival of grunge on the rock scene. Here it is:
Chapter 83. Will Grunge Rock Robot Destroy Trash Metal Music?
We sped through the alley, before ducking behind a Uriah Heep piled high in a derelict building carved out of rock. I blended in well with the grey surroundings, but the others were too colourful to be camouflaged. As we caught our breath in the net of time, I asked Dizzy what on earth was going on.
No Place for Trash in the Grunge Decade
Dizzy said that while there had been a peaceful transition from trash metal to grunge rock in the real world; in the media world where Kerrang resides, conflict had built up.
As the 1990s wore on, and grunge lost its strength, a small group of grungementalists wrote their own history of the decade.
They believed that Kurt Cobain would not have left them if trash metal hadn’t survived into the 1990s and made him miserable.
Of course, in reality Cobain had a lifetime of complex mental health issues, but the grungementalists didn’t want facts to cloud their agenda, so they focused on only one or two episodes in Kurt’s life.
The Making of Jeremy Grunginator
A shadow appeared at the building’s entrance, and we readied ourselves for more death-defying excitement; but it turned out to be an old hobo who looked seasick the way he played his guitar.
Recovering from the scare, I took the opportunity to grill Dizzy some more, asking what the grungementalists had to do with our current predicament. He explained that they were led by a technological genius named Frank Grungenstein. Grungenstein supplied constant espressos in a secret coffee house, so his team worked all hours blending a Pearl Jam with a Percolator. On the tenth attempt they perfected the Instant Prosecutor Ten.
I was already amazed, but there was more.
Dizzy said the IP10 was made Alive with electricity, and because it had an amazingly Even Flow it was nicknamed Jeremy. Its scientific name was the Grunginator. They sent it back to 1980s Kerang-Kerrang to destroy trash metal, in the belief that the 1990s would then be a better decade for Cobain and them, and grunge would remain strong.
It all made sense now.
Uriah Heep are a rock band named after a Dickens character in David Copperfield.
Kurt Cobain was the singer in Nirvana.
The old hobo is Seasick Steve (musician).
Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein.
The Terminator (film).
Pearl Jam album and songs: Ten, Alive, Even Flow, Jeremy.