Literary Nonsense Poem Punctuates Pub Pottiness

Hi, it’s Greenygrey, with another thrilling episode of Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps. After the last episode saw the travel quest quartet reach the real Mollymook‘s fantasy Rowdy Rook this episode has lots of thrilling action within the bird’s nest boozer.

Werewolf of Oz on Sale 

Probably the best werewolf travels Australia to a Wizard of Oz theme with a fine assembly of Aussie celebrities book is now available at Amazon for under five pounds sterling, and probably likewise in other currencies, which I think is exceedingly grand value… but then again, I am rather biased.

Link for Amazon book and kindle.

And yes, I think this is another classic epic episode, full of pub game jolliness, wordplay wonkiness and quite a large poem of bird-brained literary nonsense…

Chapter 110.  Rowdy Rook Pushes Body, Mind and Spirit to Limit

The chirpy atmosphere continued into the afternoon. Elle was playing darts with a kingfisher called Kingsley; Cathy was dancing flamenco with a flamingo, and Angry was playing chess with a rook.

Stepping on Toe, Flamingo 

Phoenicopterus ruber adult and chick (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Several dances later, the flamingo was visibly starting to tire, and stepping on Cathy’s feet; but Cathy kept dancing until the end of the song, which showed steadfast spirit. Then she seemed to make her excuses before returning to our table.

Cathy asked if it was time to flit
as it seemed to be getting late
long time since leaving Barry
and his fantastic family.
I looked at the timekeeping cuckoo,
and was shocked to clock
how many times it had gone tick-tock.
Time flies when you’re having fun
with birds, there are no hands to turn.

Rounding up the Team

I agreed it was probably time to go, and we went over to tell Elle first. I asked her if she was ready to leave, but she replied, ‘Hold on cobber, I just need a bullfinch’s eye to win this deciding game.’ Then she threw it straight in the middle, looking confident in her body. Kingsley was a little crestfallen, but gallant in defeat.

Rook (album) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I moseyed over to see how Angry was getting on. He’d just cornered the rook’s king with his rook and king, which I thought showed great mental dexterity. The rook was very sporting, although it had a disappointed look.

Leaving the Rowdy Rook

I shouted to Molly Mook that we had to leave the Rowdy Rook, and thanked her for the hospitality. She thanked us for our custom. The others gave us the bird; in a nice way.

We returned to the beach, singing and swaying as we went. Seeing our bottlenose buddies still swimming in the serene sea capped off a delightful day.

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Notes

clock – slang for look.

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Link for multiple Ereaders at Smashwords.

Bingie East Coast Oz Werewolf Comedy Wordplay

With time fast running out,
I’m sure there’s little doubt,
in regular readers’ minds,
that it’s Werewolf of Oz times…

Bingie 3 Start Northerly

Hi, it’s Greenygrey. Yes, it sure is time for the second Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps episode, what with the sun setting over Blighty, lunchtime on the west Pacific coast… and well, already early Monday morning in Oz.

Map of the Tasman Sea. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This episode is the first of three inspired by the town of Bingie, which starts the travel quest quartet on the northerly east coast home straight to the comedy satire marathon maudle’s denouement with Bri’s bane.

The episode contains lots of Bingie inspired wordplay, and some of it may even by funny. Here it is:

Chapter 105.  Bungee Jumpers of Bingie Splash and Brash

I awoke on the beach. The sun shining through white cloud looked like a fried egg. I thought it’d go well with all our potatoes. Then,
there seemed to be a commotion in the Tasman Sea,
I wondered what it could be.

Brainwaves by the Waves 

I slept again, before being awoken by a regular splashing in our locality. I thought somebody might have left a tap on, but then remembered we were on a beach and I had seen no taps nearby.

Pacific Coast Rambler (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I was dozing back to sleep when a disturbing thought suddenly entered my noggin: all the early morning activity could be the MoMo East returning from the deep after its epic battle with MiMo Moby; or Smiggin escaped from its hole. I bolted upright, on the crest of a brainwave.

I was relieved to see it was not MoMo, oh no; or Smiggin, thank holiculturing; but some bungee jumpers that seemed to be arriving from a great distance.

Bingie Bungees Buzzing

Adopting a posh phone voice I once heard spoken in an old film, I said, ‘Hey, hold on old chaps, don’t you think it is jolly early for that kind of caper?’

Fried Egg Records (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I realised the one who answered must be a local when it buzzed, ‘Strewth cobber, it’s never too early for some bonzer fun like this.’

I just had time to ask where they were bungeeing from before they started the reverse journey. I thought I heard one buzz they were bungeeing from Bingie before they bounced out of sight.

Link for Amazon book and kindle.

Link for multiple Ereaders at Smashwords.

Axl and Slash: Angry Nice Boys with Rose Tattoo

A recent episode of Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps focused on Angry Anderson and Rose Tattoo’s influence on L.A. heavy metal.

Although Guns N’ Roses are no longer together, and Axl and Slash no longer nice boys to each other, they still remember Rose Tattoo’s influence on their music, and both jammed Nice Boys with Angry and Rose Tattoo on recent tours:

Link for multiple Ereaders at Smashwords.

Literary Nonsense Werewolf of Oz Comedy Poem On Sales

Sales, sales, sales. We know the last thing you need when you’re cooking, watching a good television programme, or spending some quality time with loved ones is a sales call at the door or on the telephone. That’s why we don’t sell our books that way. We understand most salespeople are only doing their jobs, and many don’t like their jobs, and sometimes they do customers a favour by selling their wares to them.

Colorful Door (Photo credit: brentdanley)

Today’s episode of the Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps features an epic poem story about how a salesman delivered a quality quote to the Werewolf of Ozzers now bursting with bubble and squeak.

78.  A PASSER-BY UNDER THE LITERARY NONSENSE SKY

The fabulous five outback travellers
were sitting on the grass dividers
after eating their fill of bubble and squeak,
when a passer-by did unto them speak.

‘I can tell you all you need to know
if you’ll just open your door
I promise not to induce a snore
my presentation is not a bore
it’s guaranteed to make you say cor!
and my jokes will raise many a haw-haw guffaw
it has not once started a war
or been considered against the law
all the donkeys have exclaimed e-oh
and most dogs have clapped at least one paw
the coldest ice maidens it did thaw
and even beavers stopped their gnaw
once I told it on the sea-shore
and the waves kept coming back for more
so what do you think my travelling four
are you ready for my rock n’ roar?’

The passer-by looked at us
after ending the recital syllabus.

I said I thought he was mistaken,
because there was no door,
and we were five,
not four.

The passer-by looked all shocked and awe,
before declaring me a talking door.

‘No,’ said I,
‘I’ve just eaten too much
bubble and squeak brunch,
and my body is now oblong.
So you are wrong; therefore, so long.’

Werewolf of Oz Epic Poem of Culture 1960s – 1990s

Hi, it’s Greenygrey. It’s that late midweek nearly weekend time of the week, so I think it’s about time for the first episode of Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps. 

The Beavis and Butt-head Experience (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This episode sees the epic poetry continue on the road, after the Werewolf of Ozzers leave Geelong and head to Melbourne; although they get rather confused about the latter’s name along the way.

Easy Riders to Eastenders 

This episode might especially appeal to film and television fans from 1960s cult biker movie Easy Riders to Eastenders fans of Kathy Beale (1985 – 2000).

In-between, we have a little Guns N’ Roses, Pink Floyd, Beevis and Butthead and Lara Croft. Enjoy!

75.  EASY RIDERS ON THE ROAD TO GILLIAN TAYLFORTH

We picked ourselves out of the gutter
without hardly a mutter,
but I did let loose a sigh,
as to Geelong Goodbye
we waved a long goodbye.

‘Where do we go now?’
Bonzo asked somehow,
sounding like a fine wine
sweet child o’ mine.

I said Melbourne was just north
and from this moment henceforth
we should call it Gillian Taylforth.

‘Onwards to Gillian Taylforth then,
the time is already half past ten,’
cried Angry with zest n’ zen.

A piper from the gate of lights
led us north to Hamlyn Heights
before a nice chap called Cornholio
showed us the way to Corio.

Lara gave us a lift to Avalon
where we joined the M1,
Cocoroc was a tasty aural treat
listening to music while you eat.

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Notes

Gillian Taylforth (British actress).
The Piper at the Gates of Dawn was the first Pink Floyd album.
Sweet Child O’ Mine is a Guns N’ Roses song.
Cornholio is a Beavis alter-ego in the Beavis and Butthead cartoon.
Avalon is a Lara Croft film.

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Oz Werewolf King Island to Tasmania Poem

Hi, it’s Greenygrey. Here’s the fourth and last part of the epic-take your pick-lucky dip Kangaroo Island to Tasmania tetralogy/quadrilogy literary nonsense poem(s) as promised. That’s your two episodes of the great and powerful Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps this week…

so no twisting our resolve asking for more,
for it would solve nothing,
and might be a bit of a bore…

This chapter sees the quackers quartet sail to Tasmania, and the excitement doesn’t end there, oh no, in fact, we (Green and Grey, as we were then) met up there for a little while… in the land of the Tazzy tigers/wolves (thylacines).

The Tasmanian coat of arms features thylacines as supporters. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

57.  POETRY VOYAGE WITH A SMILE BUT NO SAUSAGE

King Island to Tasmania  

We tried to set sail from Disappointment Bay
but thunderous waves sent us astray
feeling like a ship of fools without a winner
we crashed into a smashing crag called Lavinia
moving us to the milky waters of Cowper Point
where the current took us to The Blowhole joint
we sheltered there for a little while
before getting blown the extra mile
for enough knots to reach Tasmania
landing somewhere near Marrawah.

Literary Nonsense Poetry Perfect for Decisionmaking

Hi, it’s Greenygrey. It’s time for the second episode of Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps of the week, and with its sporting theme its the perfect warm-up for the weekend… and if you’re in Britain you’ll need some warming up!

The literary nonsense poetry is really warming up too, with this episode another one that is completely poetry.

Adelaide Football Club (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

With the Rainbow Valley extended adventure a recent memory, this episode sees the travelling trio trying to choose between Crows and Redbacks, with their chances of escaping the timequake tumult dependent on the decision. Here it is:

Redbacks Fielding (Photo credit: mikecogh)

41.  FANTASY SPORT DECISIONS DECISIONS

We got in a huddle
and a bit of a muddle
working out a preamble
to finish our ramble.
I rubbed my hat
until it was flat
and then it shone:
a sign of game on?

Hat Trick Productions (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The crows have two wings
talons and beak,
redbacks have eight legs
a fiery streak.
Who will win the contest
it is difficult to decide;
could be down to injury
or a contentious offside.
Choosing could be
a hat-trick calamity
for three travellers
trapped outside normality.

Sunday Paper of Comedy – Fantasy Blogs

Hi, it’s Greenygrey. It’s been a (busy) week since the last Werewolf of Oz episode, so here’s another one. It’s quite a long episode, but there’s a punchline at the end, and lots of interesting and funny dialogue in the body of the blog.

This is a standalone episode, with little relevance for the main Werewolf of Oz plot, which reaches a totally thrilling conclusion tying together many of the threads from Grey’s epic journey. This is not one of them though.

However, this episode shows the growing relationship between Grey and Bonzo, while giving you the reader a light comedy break in this epic fantasy classic; the first solo(ish) expedition across Oz by Google maps, undertaken by our very own googler Grey. As you will see, Grey and Bonzo visit the Kakadu National Park, with the plot revolving around the city of Darwin and the town of Humpty Doo. Enjoy!

25.  HUMPTY DOO AND THE QUACK I do IN KAKADU

We departed Nitmiluk in the morning, warmly encased in our BOGOL jumpers. Bonzo said he felt limitlessly lucky, and there seemed no limits to our progress on the path, as we reached the Kakadu National Park in no time.

Sunset at the Doo (Photo credit: Rantz)

Nice Surprise at Alligator Wildman

Bonzo and I freshened up at the waterfall where the Wildman and Alligator rivers meet, as we didn’t fancy meeting the Wildman or Alligator on their own; our consensus theory was that they’d be too pre-occupied with each other at the waterfall to take any notice of us. 

We were just emerging from the water when an extraordinary looking creature arrived on the beach. Its head reminded me of my ol’ hero Scooby Doo, but it seemed to have an egg body like that of Humpty Dumpty.

It was accompanied by a duck that always seemed to be whistling.

Ready for the Quack I Do in Kakadu?

The duck approached us and whistled, ‘Hello, I am Dr. Darwin, a local whistler duck quack, and this is my friend, the Humpty Doo, who also lives nearby. We have ventured east to Kakadu hoping to discover new species. We thought you might be of some interest, but we have concluded that you are both old species. Although there hasn’t been a werewolf seen in these parts for many a century.’

English: A male northern brushtail possum in Humpty Doo, Darwin, Northern Territory, Australia. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I returned the greeting, and thanked them for their interest, before saying I’d never seen a Humpty Doo before. Dr. Darwin said Humpty was an interesting creature, and he wasn’t sure how he’d evolved; it was ongoing research, but his theory on the origin of species was that the Humpty Doo was descended from an English civil war rhyme and a Hollywood cartoon dog.

So maybe I was right. I was excited, and asked if it really believed this. For the first time it did not whistle its opinion; instead it did quack, ‘I do.’

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Notes

Darwin and Humpty Doo are Northern Territories towns.
Scooby Doo (cartoon dog).
Humpty Dumpty (English civil war nursery rhyme character).
Charles Darwin (19^th century scientist, and his book: On The Origin of Species).

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Werewolf of Oz Digital Book Disclaimer

Hi, it’s the Greenygrey. In this second instalment of the Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps book on this blog we have the disclaimer.

dISCLAIMER

This book is a work of fictional parody. While it features real people and places, they are taken out of their real context and transported to the fantasy world of Oz via Google maps for this exploratory expedition into comedy fantasy – magic realism virtual travelling. Only the author has had anything to do with the creation of this book. Apologies to people and places that do not think they are portrayed positively, but it is obviously fictional, and hopefully this book will create further interest in them.

The book is written from an agnostic viewpoint. Some of the material may offend religious extremists, so they are advised not to read any further. The book also contains sections involving alcoholic beverages: good times are balanced with bad.

One of the reasons the writer chose Australia; the main one is of course that its nickname, Oz, ties in with the Wizard of Oz; for this journey was because he thought Australians would appreciate the humour. It was written with fondness and respect for Australia; a country where the author spent most of 1989.

The book consciously provides a positive anthropomorphic view of animals, and especially the wolf. It is hoped that, in some small way, this might help the remaining wild animals in the world survive a little longer by raising awareness. Despite providing us with our ‘best friend’ dog, the wolf has suffered a particularly negative image in human cultures alienated from the wilderness. This has resulted in the wolf’s persecution and extinction in many regions of the world.

 Copyright © 2012 by Marc Latham

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

This book contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. No part of this book should be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without acknowledging its source. If you could also tell the author it would be appreciated.

marc@greenygrey.co.uk

Werewolf of Oz latest Episode not Real Time

Image via Wikipedia

Hi, it’s Green.  Great news, we’ve received Grey’s Werewolf of Oz blog clearly into the Greenygrey world for the first time since the Grand Council coup attempt, and have copied it below for quick reading.

Some people have asked why we can’t produce real time Greenygrey news, but we aren’t even real, so how can we create real time news!?

Here’s the blog, which had the title:

Goodbye Coo Pigeons, Hello Banjo Badgers

The pigeon mothers of Cooma put on a fine feast for us, and we thanked them with full contented stomachs that rumbled no more.  They said it was the least they could do, after we’d showed their Coorow relatives the utmost respect.

Tara to Cooma

They put us up in some lofts they’d converted for our visit; there was even a longer one for Elle, and a smaller one for Angry.

In the morning they cooked us up some pigeon porridge, which they call pigidge.  It was made with goat’s milk, and was oat so delicious.

But then it came time to say goodbye, and we left Cooma with a heavy heart and stomach.

We could hear them cooing their farewells until we entered deepest Badja State Forest, and the chattering of badgers took over.

Banjo Badgers of Badja Forest

It was nice to walk through the thick forest at first, but then we reached the swamps, and it looked like it could get tricky.

We were looking for a clear route through when Angry said he thought he could  hear a banjo being played in the distance.

We thought he’d turned more crazy than angry for a minute, but then we could all hear it.

We followed the direction of the sound, and before long our lugs delivered us to a clearing, where we could see a badger picking at its banjo.  Angry pulled out his guitar and started playing along, and soon they were raising the canopy with their badger beats.