I am a researcher now. The Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys I wrote about last post. I was more like Dennis Wilson before that, looking for the beauty in everything, especially nature and women, living ephemerally, caring more about being social than caring about who it was with, and what they were doing or saying.
Bad Work Environment
Around the same time as I was studying for my PhD; learning to research really analytically; personal, national and global events made me start to look at my world and the wider one in a different way; from my youth in Wales to the future of Britain and humanity.
So when I went back to the day-job I had changed from an unqualified hedonistic student to a graduated doctor of philosophy. Some of those above me didn’t seem to recognise that, just wanting to ‘compete’ with me in a contest I wasn’t interested in; I just wanted to work as little as possible to fund this writing.
Negative Postgraduate Experience
It wasn’t just the day-job though, as I think there was a similar problem while I was studying, with other students being ‘competitive’ when I just wanted to finish my thesis and leave after I had lengthy problems at the upgrading meeting at the end of the first year – taking nearly two years to return after my appeal was upheld.
So I’ve had years of unnecessary stress and bollocks because some ‘ambitious’ or egotistical people chose to ‘compete’ with me. Moreover, they still think they’re holier than thou, pillars of society, benefits to all those they ‘help’ to their faces; while stabbing them in their backs and slagging them off. Apart from receiving ‘feedback’ from those they’d obviously demonised me to, I also guessed what they were doing because they were doing it to others while being nice to their faces; and making out they were student/worker leaders to their peers while sleeping or sucking up to the hierarchy.
Poem Debit not Credit!
So this poem is about them, not for them, and certainly not in a good way, even as a ‘respected competitor’. It’s written with disdain and disgust. I was willing to work with them, but they made me the enemy, and made it out to be about everything apart from the personal, trying to get others from their ‘identity’ to do their dirty work for them.
I saw the movie Horrible Bosses for the first time last year, and that seemed to sum them up pretty well. However, I know being a manager or mentor can be difficult, and especially in some industries. That makes the good ones all the better. The ones I don’t like could also be helpful at times, just that they let themselves down in creating a general atmosphere of nauseous bull, and escalating it out of the workplace to the outside world. They probably hindered my efforts to criticise the grooming epidemic apparently going on in their locality, but maybe they were involved in it, or supported it, as they were all interested in the workplace version.
I wrote during that time that it seems ubiquitous throughout society and the world, and that seems to have been borne out since the Weinstein scandal brought it to the surface. So please make me a working writer, so I don’t have to go back to it!
More Persecution Creates, Correct Analytical Results
peak of pyramid
image hides hollow core
building support by spinning lies
deflecting suspicion claiming cultural war
not me the individual, identity of us all
telling those relevant ethnic reason
gender and sexuality for others
anything but personal failing
root of problem