Tag Archives: Italy

Luis Suarez Biting Theory and Satirical Comedy

While the debate and inquest into the Luis Suarez bite on Giorgio Chiellini in the World Cup 2014 game between Uruguay and Italy dominates the human sporting media we can confirm that Suarez is absolutely not a werewolf.

We can also put forward a theory that Suarez bites instead of punches, and offer possible reasons for his unusual actions.

Luis Suarez not a Werewolf

Hi, it’s Martin ‘Werewolfie’ Adams with a satirical comedy sports round-up virtually from Brazil.

Suarez showed no signs of the stereotypical werewolf change before biting Chiellini, and it was not a full moon last night. He could be a vampire who has learnt to live in daylight as well as dark, although that also looks unlikely, as he didn’t try to drink any blood.

Bad Research

English: Player photo, made during the friendl...
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Bad researchers not knowing much about Suarez, and his previous two cases of biting, might put it down to jealousy, with the Uruguayan star player envious of Chiellini’s handsome Romanic looks.

Others might put it down to the heat of the moment, or a provocative act to try and get the opposing player sent off when they react, but his first biting incident for Ajax v P.S.V. was after the final whistle had blown.

With the Ivanovic incident, while playing for Liverpool v Chelsea, Suarez didn’t seem to claim he’d been hit by Ivanovic; maybe he would have done if Ivanovic had swung an arm more.

Suarez did seem to claim being hit by Chiellini when he swung an arm to push Suarez away in yesterday’s game.

Suarez Bites Instead of Punching

Although Suarez has been in lots of trouble on the football field, with three biting incidents and a racism allegation, we can’t remember him having an actual fight; and throwing punches.

We don’t know if Suarez thinks he is more likely to get away with a bite than a punch, or that a bite is more effective, or if he is actually trying to provoke the other player into a reaction, or if he just enjoys biting.

We can say in a good research way, from the evidence we have, that Suarez bites rather than punching.

Suarez is considered one of football’s biggest geniuses using a ball, and maybe it is that part of the brain that allows him to see things other players don’t, that also makes him interact with other players in a way that other players don’t.

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World Cup 2014 Brazil Kick-Off

The football World Cup 2014 kicks off tonight in Brazil, and one thing’s for sure, there’ll be lots of greenYgreying going on, what with the Brazilian flag and kit including two of the three essential elements, and the Brazilian coaches often wearing grey tracksuits.

Hi, it’s Martin ‘Werewolfie’ Adams, comedy satire sports correspondent at the greenYgrey inspired by darts legend Martin ‘Wolfie’ Adams.

Brazil World Cup 2014 

JK statue at Brasilia DF, Brasil, after FIFA's...
JK statue at Brasilia DF, Brasil, after FIFA’s announcement of Brazil as host country to World Cup 2014 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

World cup 2014 starts with the hosts entertaining Croatia tonight at 21.00 G.M.T.

On Friday the pick of the games is Netherlands v Spain, then on Saturday it’s England v Italy.

That’s subjective of course, and doesn’t mean they’ll be the best games.

Mexico v Cameroon and Chile v Australia will be the top games for fans of those four countries on Friday, and they may provide better games.

On Saturday, the same is true for Columbia v Greece and Uruguay v Costa Rica before the late game.

World Cup History 

The World Cup of course plays a big part in Greenygrey/greenYgrey history. The Grand Council took over the Greenygrey world in 2010 after stating it wasn’t happy with the Greenygrey’s World Cup predictions accuracy.

As still described on the Australia Traveller blog, Greenygrey was then divided, with Green imprisoned while Grey was deported to Oz. They didn’t know Y at the time.

This of course led to Grey’s epic Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps book, after Green escaped the Grand Council’s clutches, and Grey returned to the liberated Greenygrey world.

Link for Amazon book and kindle.
Link for multiple Ereaders at Smashwords.
Link for multiple Ereaders at Smashwords.

Euro 2012 ends in Glorious Defeat for Greenygrey

Hi, it’s Martin ‘Werewolfie’ Adams. As you probably remember, our very own Cinderella Werewolf got all excited about going to the Euro 2012 Final yesterday, but in the end it turned into a disappointment, with Greenygrey hardly visible on Italian coach, Prandelli. This probably caused Italy to lose 4-0 to Spain.

Prandelli Raises Greenygrey Hopes

After we thought the Greenygrey’s hopes of going to the Euro 2012 final had ended with the German goalie kit, the BBC kindly showed us there was still hope, with this collage of Prandelli and German coach, Loew:

Prandelli won this greenygrey contest; probably because he managed to combine green and grey: grey majority and green on the Italian flag.

Greenygrey at the Euro 2012 Final

Prandelli did take Greenygrey to the final (unfortunately!) but it was a much more subdued Greenygrey than in the above photo.

Prandelli chose to wear a blazer, which featured the above Italian flag; and a grey striped shirt.

The above photo might have captured the moment when Prandelli realised his mistake.

I feel like I need a rest now, but apparently the greenyblue isn’t available for Wimbledon, so we’re going to have to work overtime down there…

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Cinderella Werewolf will go to Euro 2012 Final

Hi, it’s Martin ‘Werewolfie’ Adams, sports correspondent at the Greenygrey. When Germany‘s Euro 2012 campaign ended in chaos on Thursday, without a greenygrey goalie kit being worn, I declared the football championships over for the Greenygrey.

Cinderella Man to Werewolf 

But as James J. Braddock became known as the Cinderella Man after he won boxing fame at a late age, the Greenygrey will be going to the Euro 2012 final tonight after all.

That’s because with barely eight hours to spare, our dogged intrepid researchers have discovered that Cesare Prandelli is a greenygrey, as this photo reveals:

So it looks like we’ll be supporting Italy tonight, unless the Spanish bring out some even more greenygreyish garb…

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Germany’s Euro 2012 ends in Chaos

Hi, it’s Martin ‘Werewolfie’ Adams. Germany failed to heed the lessons from the Greek game, when our science expert, Stephen Wolfing, hypothesised that their decision to kit their goalie, Neuer, out in bright orange instead of subdued greenygrey had resulted in a goal bonanza; including Neuer letting in two goals for the first time in the tournament.

Italy v Germany Shock Chaos

The Italy v Germany game started to form, with Germany having most of the early possession, and a few chances.

But then Italy broke into the German half, and before the brightly coloured Neuer had made a save, Balotelli seemed to spot him moving to the left, and headed the ball into the opposite corner.

WARSAW, POLAND - JUNE 28:  Mario Balotelli (C)...
WARSAW, POLAND – JUNE 28: Mario Balotelli (C) of Italy jumps with Holger Badstuber (R) of Germany to score the opening goal past Manuel Neuer of Germany during the UEFA EURO 2012 semi final match between Germany and Italy at National Stadium on June 28, 2012 in Warsaw, Poland. (Image credit: Getty Images via @daylife)

Lighthouse Goalie Kit Ends Greenygrey Hopes

Then a little while later, Balotelli beat the offside trap, and seemed to use Neuer like a footballing lighthouse, sending the ball well wide of the stationary goalie and into the top corner.

The game ended 2-1 to Italy, so the last chance of greenygrey playing a foreground part in the final seems to have been ended with off-the-field decisions, rather than the greenygrey being given the chance to shine… in a subdued way…!

But as the above photo shows, greenygrey is always a background part of football pitches and stadiums.

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Euro 2012 Chaotic Chaos Theory Round-up

Hi, it’s Martin ‘Werewolfie’ Adams. It sure seems a long time ago when I last reported on Euro 2012. Why, as I remember it we were hoping for an all-greenygrey goalie quarter-final between the two Gs: Germany and Greece.

Euro 2012 Quarter-Final Chaos: Germany v Greece

Chaos in the German goal as un-greenygrey goalie beaten to the ball in rare Greek attack.

We were expecting the two greenygrey goalies to provide a very normal game, with perhaps one or two goals. But then the German goalie was kitted out in bright orange. This resulted in a six-goal thriller, with the German goalie leaving in two goals for the first time in the tournament. I was at a loss to explain how all that happened, so I asked our resident science expert, Stephen Wolfing; he thought it looked like the butterfly effect of chaos theory:

‘The butterfly effect of chaos theory proposes that a small change in one place can result in large differences to a later state, and I think that is what happened in the Germany v Greece quarter-final. Germany decided to kit their goalie out in orange, and that small change created chaos in the later game.’

Wow, thank you Stephen, for your clear and concise explanation. I had not imagined it would be so simple, and yet quite complex at the same time.

England v Italy: Did England Pay for non-Greenygrey Goalie Kit

The other quarter-final with a greenygrey interest was England v Italy; well, it was until England decided to send poor Joe Hart out in the all red kit instead of the greenygrey.

Hart seemed to be like a red rag to a bull as the Italians charged his goal time after time. And then, in the penalties, Hart was unable to save any.

Would he have done any better in greenygrey. Not even chaos theory can answer that one…!

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Folding Mirror Poem featured on Poetry Site

FMPoetry is proud to report that Caroline Gill’s ‘Thalatta, Thalatta’ Folding Mirror poem has been published on the Immagine & Poesia website, complemented by the above Four Elements image by Adel Gorgy.
Since first being published here on fmpoetry just over three years ago, the poem was also one of the FM examples used in Lewis Turco’s Book of Odd and Invented Poetry Forms.
IMMAGINE&POESIA describes itself as ‘the international artistic literary movement founded in Torino, Italy, in 2007, under the Patronage of the late Aeronwy Thomas, daughter of Dylan Thomas.’
‘The Charter Members were Aeronwy Thomas (poet and writer), Gianpiero Actis (painter), Silvana Gatti (painter), Sandrina Piras (poet) and Lidia Chiarelli (coordinator and ideologist of the Movement).’
‘American poet Lawrence Ferlinghetti and Italian artist Ugo Nespolo are members of IMMAGINE&POESIA’s Honorary Committee.’