Oz Werewolf Brisbane B4 Perth Ashes Finish

Reports that Australia is changing the Queensland capital’s name from Brisbane to Kevsbane after Kevin Pietersen said nobody had heard of it outside Australia before the first Ashes test (and well after the momentous Battle of Bri’s bane) may never surface into the human world.

English: Brisbane at night from Mount Coot-tha (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

We think it would be a shame anyway, now that everybody must finally know about Brisbane!

Ashes Series Nearly Burnt Out

Hi, it’s Martin ‘Werewolfie’ Adams, satirical comedy sports correspondent at the Greenygrey, with a wacky pitch-side report from the Waca, Perth, Western Australia; WA where the WoO all began; before the latest episode of the Werewolf of Oz begins.

cog (Photo credit: plenty.r.)

Yes, the Ashes series could be all over tomorrow (later today in human Oz), with England and Wales needing to bat out the day to have a chance of drawing the series. Australia are 2-0 up, and in the ascendancy in the third test.

So we thought we’d rush this week’s (not the This Week featured in yesterday’s episode!) first thrilling episode of Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps out today.

Brisbane, Brisbane So Good They Named it Bri’s Bane

I hope you like the headline’s little pastiche of the New York, New York song. Yes, in this thrilling episode you will not only get to know Brisbane, but also some of its coolest named neighbourhoods.

I think it provides the perfect warm-up for the cricket’s tense situation, as Emily the Emerald Cork Hat and Brian the Baggy Green lead the Werewolf of Ozzers and COG on the final march to battle with Bri’s bane.

Chapter 132.  The Climb to Bri’s Bane Greenslopes without Ropes

Three hours after leaving Chinchilla we received word that a rock fall had blocked the tunnel. Colin and Ollie were informed, and soon raced ahead to clear the way. Their colliering skills meant we surfaced at The Gap gap on schedule. The sun was reaching its apex as the COG led us into the daylight of our destiny. I had faded to grey, and felt comfortable that way.

English: Mt Coot-tha and the television towers – as seen from The Gap, Brisbane ( this photograph was taken by Figaro ) Category:Images of Brisbane (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Emily and Brian led the COG commandos at the head of our line; I had never seen such courage from a pair of hats. Although they shone with a golden hue when first meeting again, nobody could accuse them of being yella in a cowardly way.

Talking of yellow, I was missing Emily not being on my head, with the scorching sun sizzling my sight and cooking my cranium! It was a relief when we reached some tree cover.

We covertly met a covert of coots in the Mount Coot-Tha forest, and they escorted us easterly to rendezvous with a python called Pilly; it showed us a short-cut through a secret door at Indooroopilly.

indooroopilly bridges (Photo credit: bertknot)

Arriving at Greenslopes for the Battle of Bri’s bane 

Emerging through the outdoor, a river lay below us. Churchilla said it was Bri’s bane’s main defensive line. I couldn’t imagine how all the furry little chinchillas were going to cross the river. I was in for another nice surprise.

When we arrived at the river I saw that more of my West Coast friends were in it: Winona, Walter, Wendy, William and Dweezil whale sharks; and Dolly the Dolphin. Moreover, there was also a ship moored there that seemed to ooze decorum amongst all the bedlam. I should have guessed who was skippering it, but I hadn’t seen him for a few months.

Greenslopes SCIP – after (Photo credit: Brisbane City Council)

‘Hello, Grey, my ol’ matey, how’s it going?’ roared a voice from the deck. It was none other than our ol’ skipper, Captain Dec O’ Rum. I told him I was doing fine, and it was great to see him, before asking where Dai ‘on the Seas’ was. Dec said Dai’d sailed in with him the previous day, but had gone into town looking for wine and women, and hadn’t returned yet.

It was a magnificent morale booster to see them all again, and a renewed confidence surged through me. After introductions and hugs they helped us cross the river.

Although it was a relief that we’d all traversed the water safely, arriving on the other side felt like being on the sharp end of a double-edged sword; because we were now at the foot of Greenslopes, with battalions of Bri’s bane protecting the peak.

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Notes

The Gap is a Brisbane suburb; as is Indooroopilly.

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Australia Celebrate Ashes First Test Lead with the Boomerang

After Kevin Pietersen seemed to be taking on the role of Grey during the Battle of Bri’s Bane in the Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps for the Ashes cricket first test in Brisbane, the Aussies have responded with the ‘boomerang’ to take a decisive lead after day two. The second part of the Boomerang Beach trilogy was of course also very frustrating for the Werewolf of Ozzers.

The ‘Boomerang’ Takes Off

Seemingly inspired by the boomeranging of Boomerang Beach holding up the travel quest quartet’s progress up the Australian east coast, the ‘boomerang’ seems to be all the rage in the land of the… boomerang.

The Tada Girls’s solo efforts featured in the last Werewolf of Oz episode seem to taken off in a way not seen at a sports ground since the ‘Mexican Wave’ circled stadiums and the world after the Mexico football World Cup in 1986.

Australia Controlling First Ashes Test

Getty Images 

Hi, it’s Greenygrey. As seen in the photo above, Australian players and fans celebrated each England and Wales cricket team‘s wicket falling  by doing the ‘boomerang’.

Little Penguins (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So we thought we’d better post the last thrilling episode of the Boomerang Beach trilogy, bringing you almost in sight of Brisbane. Meanwhile, on Kangaroo Island, a little penguin told me that this year’s Arishes are also under way. This has been the Greenygrey. Enjoy the episode, the Arishes and Ashes.

Chapter 125.  Yahoo Flight to the Left and Right

I screamed, ‘Thirtieth time lucky!’ as we left Boomerang Beach and headed north over Elizabeth Beach once more.

We flew the Lakes Way,
knowing its outlay,
like night and day.

Yahoo! over Yahoo Island

It was all systems go, as Elle decided it was time to act, and we were primed to respond. She chose the Booti Booti National Park to kick the plan into action, leaning as much to the left as possible. We all followed her over to that side.

We flew above and beyond Green Point, and seemed to have escaped the coastal cycle. We all exclaimed yahoo! over Yahoo Island. Green Point grew smaller every minute, and Boomerang Beach soon faded out of sight.

Yahoo Island Nature Reserve. Environment, N.S.W.

Wall in Gate Changes Our Plan

Wallingat National Park.

We were free-flying now, but just as we began to relax and enjoy the view, we saw a massive wall in a gigantic gate over Wallingat National Park. It would surely be the end of us if we crashed into it. Elle had seen the danger and jumped over to the right; we quickly followed. But was it too late?

We had stopped heading straight into the wall, and were now skirting it. Our chances of escape seemed finely balanced. We leant as much to the right as possible, while trying to push against the wall with our left arms. It was preventing our obliteration, but wasn’t winning our liberation. That is, until our flying fate was decided twenty minutes later, once and for all.

English: Morannon. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A tower jutted out of the wall further on, blocking our side-skirting path. We flew closer and closer to it, and all my strength and spirit seemed nearly spent. I could see nothing beyond the tower, and no way of avoiding it. We were facing a dead-end in more ways than one.

Then Elle asked if we were ready, nodding toward the right. We all looked at her with renewed hope, not needing more explanation, and said yes. We prepared ourselves. Elle gave one almighty push, and we gave it our best too; it seemed to be working, as we were sent free of the wall.

Elle McPherson no Mme. Tussaud (Photo credit: Renato Torii)

Then Elle leant to the right (it looks to the left in the photo, as everything is upside down, and often the wrong way around, in Oz!), and we followed her as the tower loomed.

It was just enough, as we swerved around the tower into clear sky, with only a second or three to spare. It had probably been Elle’s most outstanding use of her body yet.

Flying North-East, for a while at Least

We were flying in open air again, with no hazards in view. A north-easterly wind kept our direction and elevation steady. Maybe our luck was changing!

tuncurry beach (Photo credit: Witness King Tides)

We turned past Tuncurry in a hurry, and went even faster over Forster. I was beginning to enjoy the flight.

I should have known it wouldn’t last. The wind dropped, and I got cramp in my rump;
I was like a dead-weight blowing in the breeze,
dragging the team down to the trees.

We descended at pace, and the next thing I knew we were crashing into the Ocean Dreaming Rainforest Resort on the edge of Red Head.

When we’d recovered our composure I noticed the others had red heads after the bumpy landing. They said mine was still grey.

 

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Kevin Pietersen Brisbane Unknown Rebuke to Pommie-Bashing

Grey thought he’d put Australia on the map with its epic travel quest across Oz, and especially Brisbane, which is of course the scene of the epic concluding battle with Bri’s bane. Brisbane’s Gabba (we would have preferred it to be called baGGa!) is also the venue for the first Ashes cricket test on Thursday.

English: Aerial view of the Brisbane River, Queensland, Australia (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

However, this week England’s star player Kevin Pietersen responded to some Aussie pommie-bashing calling him arrogant by tweeting that nobody outside Australia has heard of Brisbane.

Kevin Peitersen Versus Brisbane

Hi, it’s Martin ‘Werewolfie’ Adams with a sports round-up ahead of the first Ashes cricket test in Australia.

One theory in the Greenygrey world is that Kevin Pietersen; also known as KP, as the Greenygrey is known as GG; has read Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps, and is re-enacting the blockbusting Battle of Bri’s bane with himself as the hero.

However, the opposing theory counters that if KP has read WoO he’d think that everybody has now heard of Brisbane, and knows it’s on the Australian east coast.

We’re taking another step towards Brisbane here with another episode of the Werewolf of Oz. However, it’s only a literary step rather than geographical, as the travel quest quartet are still in the middle of the Boomerang Beach trilogy. The body, mind and spirit are getting it together though, and there’s hope for a return to the dust sandy path by the end.

Chapter 124.  Spirit Lifts, Mind Plans, Body Gives Hope

I was getting sick of the sight of Boomerang Beach and Green Point by the twenty-ninth return journey, and told Cathy I was losing hope.

She said, ‘That’s not the spirit!’

Tada! (Photo credit: candiceecidnac)

That was the lift I needed; mentally I might add, as I certainly didn’t need more physical lifting!

Spirit to Mind

After Cathy raised my spirits, I wondered if Angry might have a solution to our situation, as he’d been using his mind well recently. So I asked him if he could think of any way out of our repetitive return rebounding.

He thought for a few minutes, before suggesting we’d been playing into the phantom boomerang’s hands; or wings to be more precise.  

Angry explained his rationale through the whistling wind: it was because the four of us had been keeping to a straight two-two formation, and this kept the boomerang on its preferred trajectory.

Come Elle or Eye Water

Angry suggested that Elle might be the key to changing our course, as she’d been using her body well recently.

English: The Eye Water flowing under the bridge carrying the B6438 road at Reston. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

If we kept an eye on her, whether they were watery or not, and she pulled in one direction, we could all follow her, and that would hopefully release us from our eternal boomeranging.

You know what, it didn’t sound nonsense at all, and I had high hopes that it would finally ground us. We agreed to attempt it on our next northerly journey.

 

 

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