Hi, it’s Baron Wolfman, head honcho at Greenygrey communications in the absence of the legendary Andy Wolfhol. I learnt a lot from ol’ Wolfhol, but my biggest inspiration was Baron Wolman.
Messages from Wolfhol
You might have seen the three poetic image-messages left on the Greenygrey blog last weekend bearing the unique and seemingly impossible to forge aW Andy Wolfhol signature.
There were also a load of jumbled greenygrey images sent into the Greenygrey world from the Googlesphere, where Wolfhol must be; perhaps looking for a greenygrey way out. I’ve arranged them into some kind of order, with the first batch below containing those involving human design.
There’s a crossover between the categories, with for example, the first one being mostly dog, but the greenygreyness is from the human structure and shrubbery behind.
The citations below are for the people who posted them on Google+, and are not necessarily the owners of the images. If anybody would like any changes, please let me know.
Nearly two years and 132 (short) chapters/episodes after Grey landed on the west coast of Oz all alone it finds itself in the middle of the east coast, where Brisbane in Australia is in the human world.
Hope and Glory
After dozens of adventures and escapades it finds itself only ten chapters from the end, but it’s looking up at the full force of Bri’s bane.
However, there is hope, as it is part of the Hats of Hope army led by Emily the Emerald Cork Hat and Brian the Baggy Green (he’s the one with the bane).
Hi, it’s Greenygrey. While I’ve paid tribute to Monty Python recently, the Hats of Hope reminds me more of South Park, what with its life-giving characterisation of what are normally inanimate objects in the human world: such as Towelie (seen here in a greenygrey pose) and Mr. Hanky.
It also has a Mr. Hat of course, but it is not alive, although Mr. Garrison seems to think it is.
While we really liked South Park’s clever humour, and tried to emulate it, we kept the more personal and cutting edge aspects out of the Werewolf of Oz, and treated the celebrity guests nicer; more like The Simpsons in that regard.
Lord of the Rings and Hobbit Influence
Anyway, here’s the first part of the Battle of Bri’s Bane poem trilogy, which contains some classic comedy, but is more epic travel quest inspired by Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit.
I should also mention that Batman: Dark Knight Rises was released during the writing of the book, and also features a Bane, which fitted together with the baggy green hat for the book’s end baddie hat nemesis. That Bane originated in DC Comics, and was played in the movie by Tom Hardy.
Have a serene Winter Solstice in the northern hemisphere, and a wonderful Summer Solstice in the southern hemisphere.
Chapter 133. Ascending Greenslopes
Battle of Bri’s Bane Epic Trilogy Poem 1
Dead men tell no tales
only the competitive fails
in war there is no sport
to survivors the lesson is taught.
We had not long assembled
before Greenslopes trembled
as balls of fire landed at will
shot from high on Cannon Hill.
Our allies the Woolloongabba
met their Waterloo like Abba
falling in multiple millions
history’s cannon fodder minions.
The COG commandos led the counter-attack
up Greenslopes watching each other’s back
chinchillas, dogs, humans, wombats and hats
above us flew eagles, dolphins and bats.
Yes, I did say dolphins above us
for a spirit appeared without fuss
and I’m sure it was Kalbarri Barry
riding the sky waves with his family.
Woolloongabba is a district of Brisbane.
Abba and song: Waterloo.
We turned a corner, and I could see a colossal cavern complex ahead. It was full of people, animals… and other objects. My hat suddenly flew off and headed straight for a baggy green hat. They met in mid-air, and embraced passionately.
We looked in awe, as the green reunion shone like a golden wonder.
Life of Brian’s Bane
When they returned to our level, my hat almost knocked me over without touching me, as it spoke for the first time.
It said, ‘Hello Grey, my name is Emily, the Emerald Cork Hat. I’m sorry I couldn’t talk to you before, but it would have been too dangerous for you. I had to wait until I was reunited with my other half, Brian the Baggy Green. It was foretold in historic hatlore that a greeny werewolf Halfling would survive a hat-trick of green tasks before reuniting the hats of hope here in the Emerald Beach cave. The union of green will lead to a top hat age of unpolluted peace and prosperity.’
I said, ‘It’s good to talk, and it’s no problem about the previous lack of communication, but there is just one thing, for I am Grey.’
Emily seemed to smile, before asking me if I’d seen myself lately.
I looked down and was totally shocked to see that I was green all over. I had become green in the Emerald Cave without even realising it. It felt like a landmark moment, and I now felt confident I could achieve anything; just like I always think Green can. I felt like bouncing around the cave like a spring green.
However, Emily quickly brought me down to earth with a warning, ‘There are still great tests ahead, and we will require your services again if you want to remain with us. We are heading north to our destiny; a war to end all wars. For Brian it is the bane of his life. If you join us, I’m sure we can win this one last great battle, and all return to the lives we desire.’
Baggy green hats have been worn by Australian cricketers for over a century. The author first heard of them on the sports quiz show, Question of Sport, just before reaching this stage of the book on the blog; over a year after starting to write it. Life of Brian was a Monty Python film. It featured an Eric Idle song called ‘Always Look on the Bright Side of Life.’ Golden Wonder is a crisp (American ‘chips’) making company.
Halfling is another name for a hobbit in Lord of the Rings.
‘It’s good to talk’ was a strapline used in British Telecom adverts.
Hi, it’s Rudi Skollpack, fresh new food and drink correspondent at the Greenygrey for wolf – animal welfare and environment – week at the Greenygrey. My closest human parallel is famous award winning vegetarian chef Eddie Shepherd. My names are derived from the famous wolf names:
The episode sees the travel quest quartet leaving Smiggin Holes, and starting to head north towards the epic Brisbane fun finale. Reaching Berridale sets the tone for the episode.
It ends up so full of berryment that I don’t feel the need to add any more of my own, apart from berryment for merriment above, so I hope you enjoyed my first blog, and don’t think I made a meal of it!
Chapter 100. Australia’s Greytest Travellers Reach the Capital
We left Smiggin Holes where it was, and headed east on the dust sandy path. I thought we’d left the Lord of the Rings influence behind, but that turned out to be nonsense, because I was reminded of it again when we stopped for supper: a berry dal in Berridale.
We were berry impressed with the berries in the dal, and it made us all feel much berrter after our Smiggin Holes ordeal. So we thought we’d try to go beyond the pain berryer; searching for more berries even if it meant a long endurance journey. Angry suggested trying Canberra, as he thought we could berryer there. And you know what, he was right, you can berryer in Canberra. It didn’t take long before we were berrying an incrediberryble amount of berries into our bellies. I don’t know what type the Canberra berries were; maybe cranberries with the r left out.
Missing Dairymans Plains Makes My Mind Complains
We headed back down south once our berry ballooned bellies felt balanced, but we made slow progress; because we took along some sloe berries. However, the sloe berries did satisfy my desire for more berries and set my mind at rest; because prior to berrying them, I’d been regretting our decision not to detour to Dairymans Plains, as it sounded good for a raspberry ripple.
Dale is a region and battle in Lord of the Rings.
Dal is an Indian food pulse dish.
Berry language: berry – very, berrter – better, pain berryer – pain barrier, can berryer – Canberra, berrying – burying, incrediberryable – incredible.
Berridale, Dairymans Plains and Cooma are real places. Canberra is Australia’s capital.
Chapter 99. Snakes and Ladderless Holes for Snaggin’ Smiggin
I mentally prepared myself for a long fall into a deep chasm, but then the hole suddenly moved to the left, and I landed head-first in a muddy puddle. I didn’t even have my hat on to cushion the fall; but was relieved I’d avoided the hole.
After I’d sat up and wiped the mud from my eyes, I saw the hole had moved under where Smiggin had been. Elle was standing beside the hole, but the holiculturist was nowhere to be seen.
I put my hat back on, and it felt good to be reunited with ol’ corky. We all gathered around the hole. Smiggin was sitting at the bottom of it; looking disconsolate but still clutching some of its green hoard.
Cathy Keeps Quiet about Snaggin’ Smiggin
I asked Cathy how she’d turned the hat into a snake and moved the hole. She said we all have our own special powers, and they wouldn’t be special if everybody knew about them.
Being a shapeshifting, chameleonic one-half of a legendary vegetarian werewolf I just had to agree with her, and left it at that.
Snakes and ladders is a popular board game.
Down in a Hole is an Alice in Chains song.
Hi, it’s Greenygrey. After yesterday’s heavy duty blog I think it’s time to escape to Oz, although today’s episode of Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps sees the virtual travellers in terrible trouble within a mirky Smiggin HolesLord of the Rings theme; although there is of course some comedy and wordplay to keep you happy; and a trip down memory lane as the Perishers warning re-enters the story.
In line with working-class week at the Greenygrey, it is Angry’s mind that stars in this episode; although remembering women’s week, Elle again uses her body well.
Angry is based on Angry Anderson, a mixed-race Australian who grew up in a poor dysfunctional family; became a musical legend fronting Rose Tattoo, and went on to become an actor, youth advocate, politician and charity fundraiser.
He would be classed as a chav in Britain. Not saying Australia is classless though, and Oz and their Kiwi New Zealand neighbours have their own chav term: bogan. So Angry’s not done too bad for a bogan!
Angry Anderson has found himself in a difficult greenygrey position in Australia similar to Marc Latham in the U.K., finding himself trying to do the best for his social demographic while also taking into consideration the national and world situation.
Over the other side of the world to the U.K. it is some parts of the Muslim culture that Angry Anderson thinks is causing problems for Australia and its growing multiculturalism; although he doesn’t want it to affect good Muslims, such as those fleeing the Taliban in Afghanistan.
Not that it’s only Muslims causing problems, or that there weren’t problems in Britain and Australia before mass immigration.
It’s just that in both countries, and many other parts of the world, it is mainly Islamist immigrants who try and impose their religion and culture on the countries and continents to which they emigrate.
And with most of the world’s wars including Islam against each other or other religions there are more Islamic refugees; I don’t know why they are so keen to continue a religious culture that obviously isn’t working!
Britain and Europe are evolving out of 1500 years of one Middle-Eastern monotheism, Christianity; which involved lots of good things, but also lots of bad ones, such as torture, execution, censorship, dictatorship, child abuse, unquestionable privilege, persecution of the poor, land grabs etc; so although most Muslims think they are doing us a favour trying to force Christianity’s younger twin on us, I for one don’t want to go back 1500 years and start the whole process again!
I feel sorry for the innocent Muslims suffering on the fringes of the Islamic world and in the Middle-East, but the common thread to the world’s wars is lslam.
I applaud Barack Obama for his isolationist policy, as the ‘West’ only gets blamed if it gets involved in what are essentially Islamic and Monotheistic Middle-Eastern civil wars.
The Greenygrey of Immigration and Multiculturalism
As a vegetarian animal welfare and environment supporter I would welcome more Buddhism, Sikhism and Hinduism into British culture. I wish Hindus were trying to save British cows, which are sacred to them, but I never hear any such thing. I wish Buddhists were more vocal in trying to save all living creatures and the environment, but I never hear such a thing.
Similarly, Angry Anderson doesn’t believe in an omnipotent god, but attends Bahá’í services for their spirituality; the spiritual unity of all humankind
I don’t know if it’s the British media coverage, but nearly all I seem to hear about is the Islamic halal, which seems a backward step for animal welfare. Although halal and the Jewish kosher are good news for pigs, as they don’t consider them clean, they also ban the stunning of animals; although it is not a major concern to me considering the poor conditions generally suffered by animals under intensive farming.
The Greenygrey of Angry Anderson
Likewise, Angry Anderson has worked for wildlife but opposes a carbon tax, which he sees as a benefit to big business and a tax on the poor.
Whether we agree with all his political views or not doesn’t really matter. He’s using his mind within Australian political democracy, and as a single parent father of four, is providing a role model and hope for all those living in poverty who relate to him.
Here’s Angry singing in his band, Buster Brown, with Phil Rudd of AC/DC (Bon Scott/Bonzo Scottie’s band!). It was Angry’s first band, so he was probably full of dreams, and sounding a bit Rod Stewartish, already with Something to Say!:
Anyway, enough serious matter, and on with the Werewolf of Oz show:
Chapter 97. Smiggin Holes, Holiculturist
I asked Smiggin for my hat back. It started handing it to me, and we both had a hold of it; but then it tried to grab it back, saying, ‘no, no, it’s mines, mines, it’s Smiggin’s hat.’
Magic of the Emerald Cork Hat
I tugged at the hat, but couldn’t break it free from Smiggin’s grip. While we grappled, heaps of other green objects fell from its person; I don’t know where they all came from.
I lost concentration, and Smiggin must have seen its chance, because it pulled at the hat with much more strength than anything previously. It freed the hat from my grip, and I fell back, landing in a grave-size hole that had just appeared behind me.
Angry helped me out of the hole. Elle was still holding Smiggin, using her body fantastically well.
I looked at Smiggin, it smirked back.
The Case of Smiggin Holes is Solved
I asked Smiggin if it had anything to do with the hole. It continued smirking.
Angry approached me, and suggested that the ability to create holes would explain the second half of Maisie’s Smiggin Holes warning.
It all made sense now. I congratulated Angry on an impressive use of his mind.
This episode introduces Cathy a little more, while this book’s version of the Wizard of Oz‘s good witch character, Mildly Monotheistic Moby, leaves the story for the time being… with an a-were-ness warning…
71. WEREWOLF POETRY AS TRAVELLERS LEAVE SHIRE
MiMo recovered well. Nursing MiMo also seemed to stimulate Cathy’s spirit.
MiMo said he believed we’d won a major victory in our Ozyssey, and that we were now entering the final straight. That was good news, as I was already missing Green.
I thought Cathy would be a great asset to our team, so I asked her if she would join us. I was delighted that she agreed without much hesitation.
It was soon time to leave Port Fairy and say farewell to our mild friend. MiMo reminded me to stay aware, as more dangers lay ahead. He patted my head through the emerald cork hat as he said goodbye; my hat seemed to warm; before flying off in his porcelain pod.
MiMo’s final words inspired another of my rambling poems, and I’d like to share it with you to bring the curtain down on this chapter:
We’re Were Aware
Be aware where you are
Be a were wherever you are
Be a were and aware
Be aware you’re a were.