World Cup 2014 in Brazil is dominating the television screens in Blighty, but it’s not only Brazilian greenYgrey on offer, as British television studios, politicians and sets continue the British greenYgreying craze.
Hi, it’s Harry Silhouetteof-Wolfhowlingonhill, satirical comedy television correspondent inspired by Harry Hill. First of all, what a game that was last night between Netherlands and Spain. It was a truly classic game. Congratulations to the Dutch, and commiserations to the Spanish; the latter have enjoyed loads of success over the last decade, and may bounce back like they did from opening game defeat four years ago.
The BBC’s Match of the Day studio has got into the Brazil World Cup spirit with a great greenYgrey studio layout.
Match of the Day studio
Rumour has it in the greenYgrey world that the BBC‘s current affairs comedy quiz show Have I Got News For You is looking for an eventual replacement for greenYgrey favourite Paul Merton in the greenYgrey world… although we like and respect Ian Hislop too. Perhaps that’s why they had an old-fashioned greenygreying politician photo on…
Have I Got News For You
Celebrity Big Brother
Greenygrey/greenYgrey historians, like Tony Loboinson, know the World Cup is not the only human event taking place now with an important place in Greenygrey/greenYgrey history.
Yes, avid greenYgreyliens and readers of the greenYgreyworldbiography will have guessed that it’s Celebrity Big Brother, after Greenygrey won Celebrity Big Brother Alpha Werewolf many moons ago.
Celebrity Big Brother is taking place in the Channel 5 world now, after moving from Channel 4, and has a great greenygrey set this year.
Hi, it’s Greenygrey. Are you ready for the second-half of the Crows v Redbacks AusRuIcket game. Well, better get settled, because it’s kicking off soon.
Funnily enough, you know how there wasn’t a Match of the Day highlights programme on the weekend because of the F.A. Cup games cancelling out the English Premier League fixtures; well, there is one tonight, as there’s a full midweek EPL fixture list. So this is the Oz Match of the Day before the traditional Match of the Day.
Anyway, that’s enough of the pre-match discussion, on with the game:
44. SECOND-HALF OF THE GAME IS NOT THE SAME…OR LAME
The whistle blew to start the half,
our attack was higher than any Redback giraffe.
A new urgency. Down the wing, on the wing;
you should have heard the Crow llamas sing:
We love Crows, We love Crows. Because,
we flew on a Mexican wave from Andes to Oz.
Russell Crow put in a perfectly flighted cross, Sheryl Crow knocked it down for me on a sixpence, and I slotted it in. It was a dream start to the second half, and we were back on track. There was no time to crow about it though; we had a game to win.
Twenty minutes later, Bob Crow pulled another one back with a short snap strike, leaving the Redbacks defence red-faced as well as red-backed.
Crows were back in the game, but it’s a funny old name
But just as everything looked hunky dory Ted Hughes Crow had to go off with poetry
Jim Crow divided the team like a tidal wave Brandon Lee Crow tragically sent to early grave
and Charlie Crow had to fly off to trade.
Elle and Bonzo are the Ace and Joker in the Pack
We were now two players short, so I had a word with Bob, and he called a time-out. I rushed over to Elle and Bonzo, who were already on the edge of their seats.
I quickly taught them the skills of shapeshifting, and they got the hang of it in no time. Elle Crow and Bonzo Crow joined the fray without delay.
Bonzo made his presence known in no time, with some crunching tackles in the middle of the park that were reminiscent of Blackport’s Nipper Lawrence in his prime.
It was from one of those that he won the ball, and then proceeded to dribble it past and through more legs than I could count, before slotting it straight under Redglove’s outstretched leg for our equaliser.
A Thrilling Finish to the Game
It was 3-3 with ten minutes remaining, and everything to play for. Our timewager didn’t include extra-time, so it was vital we found a winner before the end of rhyme.
But the Redbacks attacked straight from the kick-off, and moved the ball about so silkily that it looked as if it was stuck to their feet on a sticky web. They were soon inside our penalty area and threatening to score a winner of their own.
However, our goalie, Crow Nation, flew up to the top corner and not only saved the shot but also gathered it in its outstretched wing. It quickly threw the ball the length of the field.
Elle was upfield and onto it like a natural bird. She reached the ball before the Redback full-back and sent it flying over the stranded Redglove to put us in the lead. It was a great use of her bird body, and the Crows fans flew into a state of euphoria.
There was hardly time to restart the game, and the final whistle gave us the Crows victory we needed.
Mexican wave is a crowd interaction that started at the 1986 World Cup in Mexico.
Andes – South American mountain range.
The Crows – Russell Crowe (actor). Sheryl Crow (singer). Bob Crow (union leader). Ted Hughes and poem (Crow). Brandon Lee and film (The Crow). Charlie Crow sells clothes.
Blackport Rovers and Nipper Lawrence (football team and playerin Tiger and Roy of the Rovers comics).
Crow Nation (Native Americans).
The ‘Tosh’ of the headline is slang for nonsense/rubbish by the way. There are some very important cup games today of course, and hopefully they’ll be even more exciting than this blog… although the blog is quite thrilling too.
This episode covers the first half of the Crows v Redbacks game that the travelling trio’s timesanity depends on, after they bet that Crows would win the game with Theold Gumtree, who holds their timedestiny in the balance.
Like the Greenygrey, the AusRuIcket game is made up of two halves. Here’s the first:
43. match of the day for finding our way
Wager laid, we rushed over to the pitch for the start of the game.
First Half is a Laugh… For a Redback Giraffe
After the game started, it was immediately plain to see, what a great spectacle it would be. There were thousands of Crows and Redbacks supporters cheering on their teams. The biggest contingent of Redbacks supporters seemed to be giraffes, while most Crows fans were llamas.
The Redbacks took an early lead when Redgrave buried the ball between the posts. They soon extended their lead through Reddin, inspiring a roar from the Redback end like nothing you’ve heard before. Just before half-time, Redburn seemed to fan the flames of our misfortune when it extended the Redbacks lead.
Grey Joins in with the Murder of Crows
I wondered if all was lost, but Bonzo thought he spotted a weakness in the Redbacks defence; suggesting they looked open to attack from above. He thought the Crows should use their aerial prowess, instead of trying to play it on the ground.
I saw the logic in Bonzo’s strategy, but couldn’t think of a way to put it into practise on the ground… and air! It was murder trying to formulate a plan for a collection of crows that looked rooted on the wrong side of a ruthless Redbacks streak.
The worry made me feel as sick as a parrot; but that negative was turned into a positive when it inspired me to remember my ability to shapeshift. I told the others I was off to join the Crows, before quickly changing into one. They wished me luck as I flapped for the field. Rather than feeling like a sick parrot, I now felt like I could fly over the moon. I hoped my elevated mood would lift the Crows, and once on the pitch:
I squawked my views on second-half play,
told them it was vital to our right of way,
before volunteering as Crow Grey,
to join the sporting fray.
They accepted my offer, and I lined up for the second-half.