Tag Archives: mental health

SUNNY DISPOSITION clouds

Sometimes I hear people described as always having had a ‘sunny disposition’; did that mean they were ignorant or uncaring? I could have a ‘sunny disposition’ all the time if I avoided any thoughts of reality. Unfortunately, I can see the negatives in even the closest and most personal elements of ‘my world’; seemingly unlike those who criticise us the most, ignoring their own failings and blaming them all on us! Now, I think I should have taken any white male privilege I had when I had the chance. But in reality, my mind keeps on being ‘greenYgrey’!

Clouds Obscuring Clear Sunny Happiness

Humanity = my species / out of control overcrowding planet
Whites = my race / mostly meat-eating environment destroyers
Britain = my country / cold, cloudy with continuous class system

Then there’s all the problems on the social/personal level, with daily tragedy dished up by the media, and people you know if you’re in large social circles.

Then there’s life, knowing we’ve got a limited amount of time, but not knowing for sure where our world came from or what’s beyond our universe.

Accepting humanity and the world are always going to be full of flaws and deteriorating in our lifetimes is a big step in freeing your mind from continuously running it uphill to try and get it over a non-existent peak… in fact you’re just helping it go faster downhill (creating more overpopulation, environmental destruction, species extinction etc).

For more misery, there’s books full on Amazon. Not that I’m completely miserable, just the usual mix!

sun brand success

A couple of years ago I thought of doing this brand to create a ‘sun’ above the winged creature tattoo. I researched it before, and did it with an antibacterial-cleansed coin; and have taken care of them hygienically afterwards.

I’m not recommending/suggesting it, and don’t expect any ‘reward’ for doing it. It has some ‘spiritual’ resonance for me, as a sun lover/worshipper, but I do it agnostically, unilaterally and unconditionally, and without expectations.

Mainly, I just saw it as a way of doing the ‘tattoo’ I most wanted myself; to save money and do something myself artistically, as I was drawing a lot about reclaiming my life and mind then too.

I can understand Harry and Meghan feeling ‘trapped’, but who doesn’t if they’re working to pay bills etc; H+M had a lot more luxury and space to do it in than most people working and living like battery caged hens in offices and overcrowded cities; trapped into taking ‘bullsh*t’ every day to survive and try to thrive!

I don’t think of it as self-harm; more self-building; if it has any mental health significance I think it’s my need to take back control of myself, after years of feeling bullied and manipulated in university, work and society; across demographics; and even on my travels, where ‘woke warriors’ would do the ‘Niqab Nazi’ salute covering their face with their hand!

I’ve never asked anyone about it, but guess my support for females like Malala fighting against the Taliban was twisted to me being sexist/Islamophobic!

That was partly the inspiration for my XaW Files: Beyond Humanity book title; although it means other things as well, such as the knowledge of our world, universe and ourselves we don’t have. In the greenYgrey trilogy, it was also the end of the road, and the protagonist’s leaving.

FAKE NEWS WAS TRUE, BUT DT USED IT TOO

Pagan Nature v Human Hater

Only got one guess
dipping into data
written mental mess
searching to censor
couldn’t care less
what it’s written for
what it really says
one-way cancel culture
dead-end nightmares
constant pressure
to show your prayers
not love to nature.

Priscilla Presley doesn’t know me: obituary apology

All our brain’s pure light
divided by prism of life
pulled apart, distorted, lied.

I’d been thinking of how the light of original thought and speech were distorted by others, like a prism separates light into different colours recently, and thought this epitaph could have described my decade-long writing protagonist/theme/logo greenYgrey for me: “..There are no words for you. Angel is the closest I could think of. Pure light… Wild man…Twin soul… Too sensitive for this harsh world.’

If anybody thinks it’s bad taste (if Priscilla Presley or any of the family ever hear of this; which I very much doubt; it is done with sensitivity and respect, in my own ‘rock n’ roll remembered’ way!) paraphrasing somebody else’s obituary, it’s done in the best possible taste (paraphrasing Kenny Everett!), and people like Ben Keough should have been the target audience, but they were misled by Multicultural Fascism, and supporting people who just want to rape and rob them!

Longest Winter Festival Ever? mistYmuse 2019 is here

It’s November 21st again, and that can mean only one thing: mistYmuse (Most Ideal Sunrise Times – Midwinter Until Spring Equinox) is here once again, and planned to see you through the northern hemisphere’s traditionally toughest weather four months; especially for SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) sufferers.
I’ve seen loads of great twilight times photos on the news this week, which has thankfully been quite clear and dry. Here’s one I prepared before, from a magical day on the Hafnarfjord in Iceland in the inaugural mistYmuse of 2017/18; perhaps when the idea really took shape, after seeing how Iceland extend their winter celebrations into February:

Longest Festival in the World?

Great news, and there’s even better, because #mYm2019 is set to be bigger than ever; okay, last year’s was the first full one, after creating the idea half way through the previous winter!
Let’s get the party started with a concert song from a decade ago I recently saw, starring Scooter with a great gYgPOP (greenYgrey PinkyOrangePurple) stage show. There’s no sound on that, so I’ve also included the song with sound.


The concert footage is from the same year as my original winter sunrises video, which is basically what mistYmuse is most about:

In a way, it’s quite apt the Scooter concert footage doesn’t have sound, as neither do sunrises!

Sunrise Times False Dawn Trickster

mistYmusers may be thinking it’s mistYmuse (Most Ideal Sunrise Times – Midwinter Until Spring Equinox) time this week, but that’s because it’s the last week of British Summer Time (BST) in the UK, and similar hour-forward timing over Europe, from March to October. That’s why it’s known in the mYm world as False Dawn Week… from now on… as this is the first of its kind!

The thought that it may be mYm time may especially be true when there are great sunrises, like here this morning; like those I recorded a decade ago:

Sunrise Times

The sunrise times will reach their BST late peak on Saturday October 26th at 07.53, and with the clocks going back to Greenwich Mean Time (GMT)/(UTC) overnight, they’ll go back to 06.55 – back earlier than the sunrise time of September 25th (06.56).

They’ll continue getting later a couple of minutes a day, and will reach Saturday’s sunrise time of 07.53 again just over a month later on November 27th.

The latest sunrises of the winter (providing a positive to balance the negative of less sun and heat, for S.A.D. [Seasonal Affective Disorder] mental health sufferers) will be from December 28th to 31st at 08.24; not the 21st as I expected! On January 1st, 2020 they’ll start getting earlier again.

The above are Leeds times from the Time and Date website.
British Summer Time on Wikipedia.

Tangerine Dream: Sunny Thoughts

This is probably only relevant to single people, without commitments; although it’s about mental escape rather than physical. It is also not about Blackpool F.C. or what might have been for Princess Kate’s Blackpool visit.

Diets and nights out
are just holiday escapes
quickly returning to norm
negative people and society
for real mental health
you have to leave altogether
in mind and spirit
if not in body
locking yourself away
with the real you
is better than being
someone demanded by others
just to feel half normal
in their image and
little bubble world.

Since I moved my mind to the sun I feel much better.
That’s not to say I don’t still care about Earth.
Just that it’s not as important.
Maybe you’re not ready to make that journey.
If you’re still full of joy and ambitions maybe you shouldn’t.
But maybe it’ll help in negative times even for everyone.

I’m not claiming this is new or original, it’s just my experiences written down, from a path forged by humanity over thousands of years… with my mind philosophy most recently updated by watching a documentary about shaolin monks… I’ll probably never reach their ‘enlightenment’ and definitely won’t achieve their physical agility!

In response to the expected Double Negative response, I don’t ‘fancy them’ and I’m not making out ‘I’m hard’!!

The Original Blog Post

I started listening to Tangerine Dream: Zeit before reading an article about sun storms. Then I wrote and I wrote… well not that much, just this while posting it on Facebook:

Sun is the One: I don’t claim any influence on it; expect any favours.
I do think that if it is sentient, it will appreciate me for that.
Liking it for what it is, rather than for what it can give me, above others.
I think it would understand those with real problems trying to contact it.
It cannot be expected to hear everybody though, while running the solar system.
As this article says, we should be grateful every day for its good management;
sending just enough heat our way overall.
It does its job, but is humanity as a whole, doing theirs;
if they are Earth’s caretakers, rather than executioners!

Slide 5 of 10: new caption

Brain Creation Coffee or Cortisol Folding Mirror Poem

This latest Folding Mirror poem developed out of a few articles and documentaries I’ve seen recently; while the screen hypnosis was featured in Moby’s Porcelain memoir, cited here recently; so at least five multi-media sources over a coupla/few months.

A couple were about ideal coffee drinking times, in relation to your cortisol levels, saying you should avoid drinking coffee just after awakening, as your body is naturally producing cortisol then, which has a similar effect as caffeine. Cortisol is produced on average by the body’s circadian rhythm between 8-9, 12-1 and 5.30-6.30 so the article said it’s best to avoid drinking it then.

Another article said that cortisol could actually shrink the brain, which I thought I might have felt during times of coffilosophy, when I was digging deep into the mind to create, and then concentrating to get it down on screen. I’d also feel tired afterwards a lot of the time, needing a nap, which could have been to do with the physical demands I think this kind of creation can impose.

In a Horizon documentary about the body clock, circadian rhythm and sleep, with volunteer, Aldo Kane, locked away from daylight for a month without knowing the time, chronobiologist Professor Jeffrey Hall  said the circadian rhythm is in all animals and was one of the first genetic imprints in us all.

A BBC Click documentary had a nice introduction to a piece about new ADHD technology with roundabout-cars chaos, which reminded me of some coffilosophy times when I’d feel like that. Sometimes the ideas would come together into a poem, story or blog post, like this one; other times I’d forget some of it, like the cars of the roundabout going the wrong way and getting lost!

It was kinda fun, and the best way for me to work, but not really efficient and dependable, which is why I think I’m more suited to this kind of creative writing!!

This is a self-portrait image I created in 2005, when the current mental health initiatives were in their infancy, to try and show as best I could how I thought my ADHD mind worked:

As Brain Shrinks, Squeezed Information Links

I am animal
of circadian rhythm
drinking coffee
for tunnel vision
organising thought
wild ideas pulled taut

ADHD roundabout thoughts, words directed downwards

sometimes converging one way
creation overlay
streamlining writing process
screen hypnosis
natural hormone cortisol
can contract cerebellum

Mirror Poem Reflection 20 from Poetry Book

Reflections of the I
Reflections of the I (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The fmpoetry.wordpress.com website has just updated the poetry reflections from Marc Latham’s 242 Mirror Poems and Reflections book with reflections 11-15, so we’d better keep a step or five ahead, and post reflection 20.

Mirror Poem Reflections

Hi, it’s William Wolfsworth, satirical comedy poetry correspondent at the greenYgrey inspired by legendary Romantic poet William Wordsworth.

Reflection 20 mirrored Summer’s Sunset Soliloquy, which mixed balancing mental health and sunbathing in the top half of the poem; with balancing positive and negative attitudes and behaviour towards people in the bottom half. noel_gallagher_high_flying_birds_album_cover_location_beverly_hills

Here’s Reflection 20 of 121 in 242 Mirror Poems and Reflections:

Strength and Death

In youth I felt strong enough to die.
In middle-age I feel my strength dying.
In old age I expect to feel death strengthen.

Smashwords cover

Poem about Accepting the Reality about Humanity

The Fragile Art of Existence
Image via Wikipedia

Here’s another jolly poem by Marc Latham, which was a stream of thought one hot off the press this morning. ¬†Enjoy the weekend, and please look for some positives to balance the negative overtones of this self-indulgent poetry, such as the Werewolf of Oz!

Denied D9:
Dirty Dozen Deduct Double Declares Decade Denied De Nine

ten
years
too long decade
lost
time
in mind stockade
isolation
dig through grit
dark
ages
hidden under pit
emerge
when