Moby’s Creativity Buzz Beyond Coffilosophy

I wrote to ‘try and make a difference’ in the greenYgrey years, as most creatives do; either holistically for humanity and/or nature; or their demographical groups. However, a lot of the time they either end up clashing and cancelling each other out; either political or personal; or within themselves and different parts of their lives – demographic v philosophy – or after a while even with their different age groups – youth v adulthood/middle-age.

I also wrote because I enjoy it, and think it’s the ‘career’ I’m best at: it suiting what I think is my ADHD/bipolar mind, still undiagnosed; more deep philosophical thinking than quick or automatic.

More Moby Empathy than Expected

I didn’t know much about Moby until reading his memoir, Porcelain. His Feeling So Real song was one of my favourites when I got into dance music in 1995, I loved the Play album and like the rest, and saw him at a magical light sunset time at Glastonbury 2000. I knew he was a Christian and into animal rights, but that was about it when I included him as a good monotheist (MiMo Moby: Mildly Monotheistic Moby) character in the second of the greenYgrey trilogy: Werewolf of Oz.

I related to Moby a lot more than I thought after reading his memoir, such as he having a poor one-parent upbringing; likes rock/metal and dance; went from Christianity into agnosticism; had times of hedonism and abstinence; and was looking for deep safe love while risking his life having a good time.

I’m not going to go into everything here, just that at the end of the book he describes the joys of the creative moment nicely, creating his breakthrough classic Play, which was at a time when his early career success was flagging; a creative process I’ve called coffilosophy and philosotea, as that’s when it usually happens to me; and Nick Cave described nicely at the end of 20,000 Days On Earth; and what has been my biggest personal destination for myself through my writing.

Moby: Porcelain: a Memoir
(Faber and Faber, 2016; he doesn’t mention being a character in WoO!)

P. 465: ‘…I had been getting into the… hypnotic workflow that was better than liquor or drugs or sex or science-fiction books…’
P. 468: ‘I sat back and felt that buzz I got only when I’d written something that might be good: a sense of space and expansion in and around my head, as if time were slowing and becoming richer…’
P. 469: ‘…And I knew then it was really done. I didn’t know whether it was good; I didn’t know whether anyone else would like it. But sitting cloistered in my tiny studio, sheltered from the cold rain, I thought it was complete and beautiful.’

Booker Prize Candidate Opinion Not So Outlandish

That’s how I felt when I finished the greenYgrey trilogy: a work of art; as a past winner of the Booker Prize described his book on a programme looking back at it last night. This year’s winner will be announced tonight.

I think XaW Files is/was good enough to be a contender, but I’m not a good enough reader to be a judge; reading 100 books and deciding between them. This is my forte, and the place I love to be: dipping into deep mind philosophy.

If you don’t believe that of somebody like me, then you don’t know your chavistory (chav history); as previous winners of the Booker have been – just as/or more – rougher and rawer; such as James Kelman’s  Glasgow dialect winner in 1984.

I tried to map my writer mind while travelling through the greenYgrey. It’s not too late to explore… but there will be no more… it would be like adding to a painting I feel is finished…

Moby’s Anti-White Heterosexual Prejudice Experiences Before Meghan

In his memoir, Porcelain, Moby writes of going to a club and he and his friend being the only whites there. He was greeted by a transsexual saying ‘Is it Klan night tonight?’ He was then spat on a couple of times while dancing. P.87-88: ‘I wanted to defend myself – No! I love black music! I’m not a racist! I’m sorry I’m white.’

I’m not surprised that kind of thing happened, as I suffered similar working in a similar UK area, but was shocked it happened to Moby, as he’s a very hip looking dude.

It was only a small part of Moby’s book, and he had mostly good relations with non-whites; as I did, especially before a manager started stirring them up!; and has of course had them in his band since. Like Moby, I try to rise above the anti-white/hetero/lesbiman prejudice I’ve faced, especially being a doctor of philosophy!

Not in the British Media Coverage: Road to Princess Meghan

I have nothing against Meghan personally, but it just seemed a coincidence that she came into the royal picture after a year of one-sided ‘race – (mostly) white police on blacks – coverage’ in the UK.

There was apparently an opium epidemic killing much more people at the same time in the USA, mostly whites, but I never saw that on the headline news.

It was in a documentary on the BBC I saw that, as well as the extent of the gun violence problem – a weekend spent in Chicago, so I can’t claim they’re totally biased, but much more people watch main channel headline news than late night lower channel documentaries.

After the last big UK riots I said the gangs were just copying the USA, with them calling the police ‘feds’ a giveaway. I’ve seen that featured in the film ‘Hyena‘ since.

Maybe Harry and Meghan is all a coincidence; very clever man Richard Osman joked on Have I Got News For You a while ago that he thought Harry was going to marry a Kardashian!

Empire Strikes Back

I’ve never been a royalist, and joked before that I was the true king, descended from pagan greats Boudicaa and Penda; The Man Who Would Be King, parodying Rudyard Kipling’s classic.

Maybe the Established took me seriously, and now they’ve got a ‘race filter’ guarding their front-line; like Kanye West with Donald Trump.

So I will outflank the Palace PR machine, one foot forward and two steps back, as the grooming Head of Department in charge of my PhD said about me apparently, to another student, as he tried to de-chav me; never thinking I could pierce it; by wishing Harry and Meghan well for their pregnancy and birth of their child, and I really mean that.

They both seem to have personality faults; as footballing great Peter Crouch says about Harry, and some of Meghan’s family say about her!; but some good factors too. They don’t mean hardly anything to me really, except they’re on the news!

Werewolf of Oz Body, Spirit and Mind

The body, mind and spirit of the Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps reacted quickly to the disappointment of the Grand Dame in the last episode, and in today’s third from last chapter in the book, they receive confirmation that they do not need any additional help: they already have the qualities they feel they lack.

Body, Mind and Spirit 

Raining Again (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

At the end of the Wizard of Oz, the scatty Scarecrow receives a diploma after searching for a brain, the cowardly Lion gets a medal for courage and the Tin Man has a pocket watch after looking for a heart.

In this episode of the Werewolf of Oz Elle, Angry and Cathy are told by the Good Witch of the story, Mildly Monotheistic Moby, that they have restored all the body, mind and spirit they’ll need.

The Greenygrey world had been taken over by the Grand Council at the start of the book, but had been liberated by the end, and this is referred to at the end of this chapter/episode. The ending of this episode also throws a cat among the pigeons; or hat among the Werewolf of Ozzers in this case.

Chapter 140.  Moby tells it as it is, Which is…

We were about to leave, when a porcelain pod came around the corner, and MiMo Moby emerged from it. We were ecstatic, and greeted him with gusto; he seemed equally pleased to see us.

Beautiful (Moby song) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I told him the Dame had been a disappointment, so Angry, Cathy and Elle were uncertain of their future in Oz, and I didn’t know if I could return to the Greenygrey world.

Moby Pep Talk

MiMo looked at us all, and then back at Elle, before saying, ‘Why, Elle had body issues when she joined you; she had lost all her strength. But she has been using her body with great dexterity throughout the Ozyssey, and now has her confidence back.’

I had to agree. Elle leapt into the air with joy.

Travel iron (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

‘And Angry was letting the Neighbours’ opinions of his mind get to him; making him feel inadequate. But he has been using fantastic judgement all through the epic adventure, and working well within your travel team.’

Once more, I had to agree. Angry sang a celebratory tune he spontaneously created.

‘And Cathy was in low spirits when you met; but freedom, movement, natural space, friendship, being valued and success have helped lift her spirits since joining your epic adventure; and also raised yours at crucial times in this rousing ramble.’

porcelain heart (Photo credit: opethpainter)

Yet again, I had to agree. Cathy saluted the sun.

‘And you, Grey, you have reached your destination, and helped bring the hats of hope home to Emerald. Deep down you know you have the power to return to Green whenever you want. The Greenygrey world is free again; as free as Emerald.’

I thanked MiMo Moby for everything, and we all said hearty farewells before he disappeared around the corner in his porcelain pod. Not long after, Brian arrived from the same direction.

Link for Amazon book and kindle.

Link for multiple Ereaders at Smashwords.

Bingie East Coast Oz Werewolf Comedy Wordplay

With time fast running out,
I’m sure there’s little doubt,
in regular readers’ minds,
that it’s Werewolf of Oz times…

Bingie 3 Start Northerly

Hi, it’s Greenygrey. Yes, it sure is time for the second Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps episode, what with the sun setting over Blighty, lunchtime on the west Pacific coast… and well, already early Monday morning in Oz.

Map of the Tasman Sea. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This episode is the first of three inspired by the town of Bingie, which starts the travel quest quartet on the northerly east coast home straight to the comedy satire marathon maudle’s denouement with Bri’s bane.

The episode contains lots of Bingie inspired wordplay, and some of it may even by funny. Here it is:

Chapter 105.  Bungee Jumpers of Bingie Splash and Brash

I awoke on the beach. The sun shining through white cloud looked like a fried egg. I thought it’d go well with all our potatoes. Then,
there seemed to be a commotion in the Tasman Sea,
I wondered what it could be.

Brainwaves by the Waves 

I slept again, before being awoken by a regular splashing in our locality. I thought somebody might have left a tap on, but then remembered we were on a beach and I had seen no taps nearby.

Pacific Coast Rambler (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I was dozing back to sleep when a disturbing thought suddenly entered my noggin: all the early morning activity could be the MoMo East returning from the deep after its epic battle with MiMo Moby; or Smiggin escaped from its hole. I bolted upright, on the crest of a brainwave.

I was relieved to see it was not MoMo, oh no; or Smiggin, thank holiculturing; but some bungee jumpers that seemed to be arriving from a great distance.

Bingie Bungees Buzzing

Adopting a posh phone voice I once heard spoken in an old film, I said, ‘Hey, hold on old chaps, don’t you think it is jolly early for that kind of caper?’

Fried Egg Records (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I realised the one who answered must be a local when it buzzed, ‘Strewth cobber, it’s never too early for some bonzer fun like this.’

I just had time to ask where they were bungeeing from before they started the reverse journey. I thought I heard one buzz they were bungeeing from Bingie before they bounced out of sight.

Link for Amazon book and kindle.

Link for multiple Ereaders at Smashwords.

Werewolf of Oz Plotline Warns to Always be A-Were

Hi, it’s Greenygrey. It’s that early midweek time of the week, so after the serious nature of yesterday’s blog, we think it’s time for the first episode of Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps.

The Good Witch of the North as pictured in The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This episode introduces Cathy a little more, while this book’s version of the Wizard of Oz‘s good witch character, Mildly Monotheistic Moby, leaves the story for the time being… with an a-were-ness warning…

71.  WEREWOLF POETRY AS TRAVELLERS LEAVE SHIRE 

Cathy Freeman dodges the media scrum at the end of the 400m final. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

MiMo recovered well. Nursing MiMo also seemed to stimulate Cathy’s spirit.

MiMo said he believed we’d won a major victory in our Ozyssey, and that we were now entering the final straight. That was good news, as I was already missing Green.

I thought Cathy would be a great asset to our team, so I asked her if she would join us. I was delighted that she agreed without much hesitation.

Leaving the Shire of Moyne 

Australiana: a cork hat on a sixpack of VB (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It was soon time to leave Port Fairy and say farewell to our mild friend. MiMo reminded me to stay aware, as more dangers lay ahead. He patted my head through the emerald cork hat as he said goodbye; my hat seemed to warm; before flying off in his porcelain pod.

MiMo’s final words inspired another of my rambling poems, and I’d like to share it with you to bring the curtain down on this chapter:

We’re Were Aware 

Be aware where you are
Be a were wherever you are
Be a were and aware
Be aware you’re a were.

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Notes 

Shire of Moyne sounds reminiscent of the Lord of the Rings shire.

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Cathy Freeman Joins Werewolf of Oz as Olympic Spirit

Hi, it’s Greenygrey. Sorry the blog was dragged down into the human world the last couple of days, but sometimes it rains so hard it floods. Anyway, I think the best way to escape is into a fantasy world, so here’s another episode of Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps.

Answering the (Imagined) Critics

I imagine that Greenygrey critics will say that the social context of the previous two blogs was only to promote Marc Latham as a writer, and publicise his books.

There is an element of truth to that, as once you’re in the public eye there’s always a certain amount of self-promotion and personal gratification in everything good you do (as you see it), as previously stated on this blog: whether you’re religious leaders trying to win converts; politicians trying to win votes; companies trying to win customers (at least we’re not as bad as the Orlovs!); musicians trying to win listeners etc.

Yes, we want to be successful in the human world, but we’ve done it our way; the hard way; trying to keep true to what we believe; rather than selling out to the quickest buck. Marc Latham has probably lost £20,000 – £50,000 a year to the postgraduate average over the last eight years (poorest and most underclass white trash Doctor of Philosophy in Britain?), so he’s probably never going to make that back!

In fact, he’s made nothing from all the books he’s written. But he doesn’t want to be portrayed as a martyr, and does not regret taking the path he chose.

Cathy Freeman Joins Werewolf of Oz 

English: Cathy Freeman olympic final 400m Sydney 2000 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Today’s episode sees Cathy Freeman join the narrative, as the spirit element of the body, mind and spirit theme of the story, as the original Wizard of Oz had a heart, brain and courage theme.

While we’re on the imagined criticism topic, we thought she was the best fit, as she was the spirit of the Sydney 2000 Olympics, but there is probably plenty of ammunition for critics from all sides!

Right-wingers will probably think we caved in to multicultural fascism’s political correctness; Aborigine’s might accuse us of stereotyping, as Native Americans have complained about such things, as previously featured on this blog; while Left-wingers and South Park fans might accuse us of tokenism.

Maybe there’s an element of truth in all of them. As the British media is accused of being too left and right wing, the Greenygrey has tried to consider everyone, with a little bias for our core thinking.

Marc Latham thought he’d be a militant left-winger all his life, but the world changes, and he now lives in the fragmented post-modern political world, where issues are more important than traditional partisan loyalties.

Swimmer Ian Thorpe on a plane. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Anyway, having watched the Sydney 2000 Olympics we still think Cathy was the best fit for the spirit role in Grey’s great epic classic story; over white male Ian Thorpe; which has a background theme (propaganda) of individuality, agnosticism, freedom of speech and equality. It was great to have her travelling with us. Here it is:

70.  sydney 2000 spirit 

Harbour at Port Fairy – Victoria Australia (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

As we approached the Port Fairy dock I saw a commotion in the sea,
and wondered what it could be.
Moments later, I realised it was MiMo still grappling with MoMo.

Ian Thorpe Swims to Save Moby

It looked as if MoMo had the upper hand, and was about to deliver MiMo the death-blow, when what looked like a human thorpedo sped through the water and delivered a hit to MoMo’s underbelly.

MoMo flew into the air grimacing, looking out for the count, but managed to twist the other way before re-entering the water. I didn’t see it after that.

Cathy Freeman, Spirit of Sydney 2000 Olympics

The thorpedo helped MiMo to the Port Fairy beach, and then a spirit runner took over. I had seen the runner training on the beach, showing spirit to continue when obviously somewhat dispirited, and then saw her run over to resuscitate MiMo.

After docking, we rushed over to them. MiMo said he was okay, although it had been a tough challenge restraining MoMo. The spirit introduced herself as Cathy.

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Notes 

Ian Thorpe (nicknamed ‘Thorpedo’ – Aussie swimming star of Sydney 2000).
Cathy Freeman (runner who lit the flame for the Sydney 2000 Olympics).

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Green and Grey Separate, but Vow ‘We’ll Meet Again’

Hi, it’s Greenygrey. Sorry we haven’t been able to bring you your weekly Werewolf of Oz recently, but we were operating a secret mission to try and find Andy Wolfhol. We had a tip-off that he’d been sighted in the north, but  when we returned to the blog from our travel quest we found a postcard with ol’ Wolfhol’s distinctive and almost certainly impossible to forge signature suggesting he is somewhere southerly.

I hope you enjoyed the last thrilling episode of Werewolf of Oz, when MiMo Moby helped save the day and I was reunited with myself. Unfortunately, it wasn’t to last, and this episode is a bit of a tearjerker; although that wasn’t to last either, and we’re now back together of course. Anyway, I don’t want to give too much away, so on with the Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps show.

P.S. I also noticed that I had included Ant n’ Dec as a reference in this chapter rather than the first one they appeared in, so was getting ahead of myself when I added it afterwards in the last episode posting on this site. I remembered thinking of it, but thought I’d decided not to include it!

68.  GREEN AND GREY SEPARATE UNTIL ANOTHER DAY

Green leaf (Photo credit: @Doug88888)

Green and I were reunited once more into the Greenygrey; and Bonzo, Elle and Angry were excited to meet us together. When everything calmed down, we/I (Greenygrey!) cooked up a Bass Strait brunch for the whole bunch, and we discussed the previous day’s exciting events.

Bonzo said he’d been asleep when all the excitement happened; he’d been that dog-tired! Elle said Angry’d suggested she rush up and grab our assailant around the neck. I thought it was a good use of Angry’s mind, and Elle’s body; they certainly seemed to be getting their confidence back in those areas.

We all hoped MiMo Moby would survive the deadly duel, and wondered if we would see him again on our journey. My hat seemed to glow when we talked about MiMo. Unfortunately, there was no sign of Dai n’ Dec; we hoped they were safe somewhere.

Green for Pastures New 

Green curl (Photo credit: @Doug88888)

At the end of the meal we, Green and I, unfortunately had to announce that we would be parting again. The others were disappointed, but the Greenygrey world needed Green, and I thought I should conclude this quest on my own.

Green shapeshifted into an albatross for the long journey back to the Greenygrey world. We climbed to the top of the mast to wave it off, singing Vera Lynn’s ‘We’ll meet again.’

As Green albatross reached the horizon it looked back, did a roll, and tipped its wings; before disappearing from view into the azure.

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Notes 

Cover via Amazon

Vera Lynn and song (We’ll Meet Again).
Ant n’ Dec? (entertainers).

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Comedy-Fantasy Thrilling Battle Below the Sea

Hi, it’s Greenygrey. Although Greenygrey literature classicists might choose other episodes of Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps as the finest piece of poetry and prose in Grey’s epic comedy-fantasy travel quest, today’s episode is my favourite.

The Time Crocodile (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Although I wasn’t the current me at the time of course, and that might give you a clue as to why it’s my favourite. I don’t want to spoil the thrilling episode for you, so on with the show:

67.  BATTLE BELOW BASS STRAIT STRETCHES CREDULITY 

Deeper and deeper we did descends,
down to the lair of the sharpest biting bends.

But the crocodile lost its glinting glare,
as a ghostly apparition increased the scare.

My fear turned to joy as it became clear,
the newcomer was nothing to beware.

Siamese crocodile. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It was MiMo Moby swimming our way,
hopefully just in time to save the day.

The crocodile at once lost interest in us,
as its nemesis joined the rumpus.

Then Elle shot out from below deck,
and grabbed the crocodile’s slippery neck.

They grappled amidst the ocean ripples,
like drunken sailors after too many tipples.

And then I couldn’t believe my eyes,
as a green kingfisher showed enterprise.

It flapped its wings under the crocodile’s thighs,
making it change into a form we could recognise.

The two monotheists were together as if in sleep,
as the mild dragged the monotonous farther deep.

Female Green Kingfisher. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

We managed to control the ship’s direction,
navigating north to the sun’s reflection.

Back on the surface I did jump with joy,
as the kingfisher shapeshifted into the real McCoy.

It was my other half Green; reunited at last,
we hugged so hard to the top of the mast.

Body, Mind and Spirit Temptations of Bunyip Legend

Hi, it’s Greenygrey. After all the seriousness and sombreness of the Remembrance weekend we remembered that it was about time we had another thrilling episode of your favourite classic epic comedy-fantasy travel-quest comedy-quest fantasy-travel epic classic Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps.

After Elle joined Grey and Bonzo in the last episode, thinking she had body problems like the Scarecrow had brain problems in The Wizard of Oz, the main event of this episode is a meeting with a legendary creature that may not be what it seems.

A combination of this blog and the last one featuring Derren Brown‘s latest television special reminded us of how important a belief in body, mind and spirit over supernatural forces is to our story.

We’ve also added a special extra reference to our favourite ex-pumpkin Marc Latham. Here it is:

28.  BUNYIP SHENANIGANS AND SHINING EMERALDS

We continued south into the baking heat. There was no life visible anywhere, and only the dust sandy path kept us going… for mile after mile.

Then I saw something move in the distance. As we neared it, I thought it was Marc Latham at first, but then realised it was a bunyip. I wondered what a bunyip was doing out in the desert, as they usually prefer swamps.

Bunyip-Approaching-Simon-Breese (Photo credit: Simon Breese)

The Bunyip Asks Us to Play Ball

We stopped near the bunyip. Its breath wafted across the path, smelling like brontosaurus. At least it wasn’t brachiosaurus; that is the worst.

I asked what a bunyip was doing in the arid Oz outback, so far from soggy swamps. It looked at us with mischievous eyes, and ignored my question. Instead, it invited us to play a game. We were in no rush, and had become intrigued, so agreed.

The bunyip then proceeded to theatrically roll three different coloured balls onto a fold-out table: one was green, another red and the last was pink. It said there was a prize to go with each ball, and we could choose one each: the prizes were green dye; a house and a new body.

English: Surgery at Bunyip (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Discussion and Deliberation Leads to Decision

The three of us entered into a huddle, trying our best not to muddle. I said it seemed an inviting offer, and I’d really like some green dye to make myself look greenygrey again. Bonzo agreed, and said he’d like a house; somewhere comfortable for when he settles down. Elle was also in favour; she said she’d like a new body, as she’d lost all confidence in herself.

Elle displays her ability (Powerless). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So we decided to play the game, thinking the green ball would be for the green dye prize; the red ball the house prize, and the pink ball the body prize.

Bunyip Shenanigans

We told the bunyip our choices, confident in our logic. The bunyip looked pleased with itself, laughing a big brontosaurus breath across the path. We knew why it felt smug when it announced that the green ball was for the family home; red was for the new body, and pink was for green dye.

I didn’t need a new home as I wanted to return to the Greenygrey world; Bonzo didn’t want a new body as it was happy being a Scottie, and Elle didn’t think being dyed green would improve her body image.

So we started to swap prizes amongst each other, but the bunyip quickly intervened. It said there was a forfeit for exchanging the prizes, and the cost for three swaps was a hat.

We only had the emerald cork hat. MiMo Moby said it had magical powers, but we hadn’t seen any yet. So I took the hat off and said, ‘Shine on you crazy emerald, or forever hold your peace.’

~ shine on you crazy diamond ~ (Photo credit: @reviewne)

The hat started to glow, and then shone so much it was difficult to see anything amongst all the greenshine. But after a few seconds I could vaguely make out a figure appearing above. As the hat glow reduced in intensity I saw it was MiMo Moby arriving. MiMo quickly warned us that the bunyip was really the surviving MoMo, trying to tempt us into giving it the emerald cork hat with prizes it thought we couldn’t resist.

Go – The Very Best of Moby (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Once it saw its ruse had been rumbled, the bunyip quickly changed into the MoMo we’d seen at Meekatharra. It ranted at us once more before flying off.

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Notes

Bunyip – a large creature in Aboriginal mythology.
Shine On You Crazy Diamond (Pink Floyd song).
Kyle declared shenanigans in South Park’s Cow Days episode (season 2/episode 13, 1998).

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Monotheist Meekatharra Madness Mitigated by Moby

Hi, it’s Greenygrey. The Australian weekend is well under way, and that means it’s time for another instalment of Oz’s favourite Great Novel comedy-fantasy travel quest, all in the best possible taste. Here you are then, you lucky possums. Not yet, Dame Edna!

20.  MEERKATS-MONOTHEISTS MIX MAKES MAD MORNING

I had just about absorbed all that information, when another human dropped from the sky in a Porcelain pod. I hoped it wasn’t more trouble; I’d had enough for one day!

Cover of Everything Is Wrong

The human burst out singing: ‘Hallelujah, I am Mildly Monotheistic Moby (MiMo Moby), and I’m Feeling So Real. I know Everything Was Wrong Here, but now that the Sky Has Broken and the Grey descended, the Monotonous Monotheists must Go, and matters return to magic for the meerkats of Meekatharra.’

When I heard him say Monotonous Monotheists in the plural my heart sank; either he’d messed up his lines or there was more than one.

Wizard of Oz First Witch Meeting Scene

It wasn’t long before my fears were realised. I heard a monotonous murmuring sound coming from somewhere, and it grew louder with every second. The meerkats dived for cover, and Bonzo covered his ears. When the orator came into view I saw it looked like the human I’d landed on. It approached us.

‘Ah, Monotonous Monotheist of the East (MoMo East), I thought you might arrive soon,’ said MiMo Moby.

So there was another one; my heart sank deeper than before. The meerkats were nowhere to be seen, and Bonzo belted out the blues.

‘Aah, hah,’ MoMo East ranted, ‘you might have stopped my Western twin from controlling your lives, but I am the stronger of the two, and I will wreak rampant revenge upon your sinning souls, just you wait and see, aah, hah!’

As it stopped cackling it sprang towards its twin’s head, but MiMo Moby somehow transported an emerald cork hat from the MoMo West’s head onto my bonce before the MoMo East could reach it.

MoMo East turned with a look of hellfire on its face.

English: View from the lookout at the town of Meekatharra, Western Australia. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

MiMo Moby took no pity, shouting, ‘Go, you have no power in Meekatharra.’

MoMo East cackled out another rant and repeated the threat before vanishing as quickly as it had appeared.

Before also leaving, MiMo congratulated the meerkats on their liberation, and told Bonzo and me, ‘You have done a good deed here today, and should now follow the dust sandy path. The path will be difficult, and full of tests, but will ultimately lead you to the Great Dame of Oz. She should help you complete your epic rambling quest. Take great care of the hat, as it is very precious and has magical powers that will be useful on the dust sandy path. It must not fall into the wrong hands. Let it rest peacefully on your bonce, for there is more than you can imagine resting on it.’

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Notes

Cork hats are traditional Aussie bush headgear.
bonce – slang for head.
Moby and songs: Porcelain, Hallelujah, Feeling So Real, Everything Is Wrong, Sky Has Broken, Go.
Wicked Witch of the East (character in Wizard of Oz).

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