The Seattle Seahawks surpassed the greatest expectations for Team GG with an incredible 43 – 8 win over the Denver Broncos yesterday. There were overwhelmingly greenygrey scenes all around the ground, and on the pitch, and in the trophy presentation.
Seattle Seahawks Super Bowl XLVIII
Hi, it’s Martin ‘Werewolfie’ Adams with another NFL Superbowl satirical comedy special, today celebrating the Seahawks’ famous victory.
As the Seahawks played mainly in blue and white, the undoubted hero for Team GG was the helmet, which showed no signs of season’s wears and tears as it covered the pitch tirelessly in overwhelming greenygrey:
The pitch looked greenygrey, with the green grass complemented by a grey Super Bowl logo. It’s not surprising looking at the logo for the event:
Even the Vince Lombardi trophy they were playing for got in on the greenygreying act:
Seattle celebrated in style in the city once most famous for Nirvana, Pearl Jam and grunge. The Seahawks quickly put on sale some great greenygrey champions merchandise, including this smart sports top:
Hi, it’s Greenygrey. Here’s the next thrilling episode (number 10) of the story within a story Kerang-Kerrang 1960s-1990s rock music time-travel classic epic within Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Mapsepic classic. While grunge fans might have hated the story so far, they might like it from now on…
This episode sees the troubled time-travellers return to the Temple of the Dog, and its relevance to the story revealed. This Temple of the Dog refers to the Mother Love Bone song rather than the band.
Two members of Pearl Jam (Stone Gossard and Jeff Ament) originated in Mother Love Bone, and later hired singer Eddie Vedder, so Pearl Jam probably wouldn’t have existed if tortured genius MLB singer Andrew Wood hadn’t ended his time-travelling tragically early; instead overdosing on heroin. Here’s the episode:
Chapter 89. Andrew Wood and the Temple of the Dog
We re-entered the British Quarter, but couldn’t lose the Grunginator, and it seemed to be gaining. Its newly discovered hopping technique made it look a lot quicker and scarier than when it relied on its old robotic movement.
It also seemed to be creating and distributing more poison darts per-minute, and one was surely to hit the target before long.
Temple of the Dog Brings Out Spirit, Mind and Body
We were passing the Temple of the Dog, which was damaged but still standing, when Cathy sensed a spirit there. I hoped it was another sign of Cathy returning to her peak spirit level.
I suggested trying to reach Andrew Wood, as he’d sung about a temple of the dog with Mother Love Bone, and might be able to reason with the Grunginator.
Angry pointed out that Wood became famous in Seattle rather than Britain, but said it was worth a try. I thought it was a good use of Angry’s mind, showing knowledge and diplomacy.
Meanwhile, Elle was protecting us from the poison darts with her body. This was an incredible use of her body, and she certainly seemed to be getting her confidence back.
Dizzy Reaches Spirit of Wood with a Keyboard Tune
Dizzy unpacked his portable keyboard to play Mother Love Bone tunes he thought might tempt the spirit of Wood into our time and place in Kerang-Kerrang.
He started with a great version of This is Shangri-la, but there was no movement around the temple. Stardog Champion was next, and my hopes rose with the mist swirling out of the temple base during the second half of the song. Was this the beginning of something special? It gathered pace, and soon the temple was hardly visible.
Eureka, as Dizzy finished off Man of Golden Words, the spirit of Andrew Wood appeared above the Temple of the Dog.
Andrew Wood was the lead singer of Mother Love Bone. He died in 1990.
Mother Love Bone songs explained within the narrative.
This involves travelling forward into the 1990s, and the arrival of grunge on the rock scene. Here it is:
Chapter 83. Will Grunge Rock Robot Destroy Trash Metal Music?
We sped through the alley, before ducking behind a Uriah Heep piled high in a derelict building carved out of rock. I blended in well with the grey surroundings, but the others were too colourful to be camouflaged. As we caught our breath in the net of time, I asked Dizzy what on earth was going on.
No Place for Trash in the Grunge Decade
Dizzy said that while there had been a peaceful transition from trash metal to grunge rock in the real world; in the media world where Kerrang resides, conflict had built up.
As the 1990s wore on, and grunge lost its strength, a small group of grungementalists wrote their own history of the decade.
They believed that Kurt Cobain would not have left them if trash metal hadn’t survived into the 1990s and made him miserable.
Of course, in reality Cobain had a lifetime of complex mental health issues, but the grungementalists didn’t want facts to cloud their agenda, so they focused on only one or two episodes in Kurt’s life.
The Making of Jeremy Grunginator
A shadow appeared at the building’s entrance, and we readied ourselves for more death-defying excitement; but it turned out to be an old hobo who looked seasick the way he played his guitar.
Recovering from the scare, I took the opportunity to grill Dizzy some more, asking what the grungementalists had to do with our current predicament. He explained that they were led by a technological genius named Frank Grungenstein. Grungenstein supplied constant espressos in a secret coffee house, so his team worked all hours blending a Pearl Jam with a Percolator. On the tenth attempt they perfected the Instant Prosecutor Ten.
I was already amazed, but there was more.
Dizzy said the IP10 was made Alive with electricity, and because it had an amazingly Even Flow it was nicknamed Jeremy. Its scientific name was the Grunginator. They sent it back to 1980s Kerang-Kerrang to destroy trash metal, in the belief that the 1990s would then be a better decade for Cobain and them, and grunge would remain strong.
It all made sense now.
Uriah Heep are a rock band named after a Dickens character in David Copperfield.
Kurt Cobain was the singer in Nirvana.
The old hobo is Seasick Steve (musician).
Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein.
The Terminator (film).
Pearl Jam album and songs: Ten, Alive, Even Flow, Jeremy.