Tag Archives: Premier League

World Athletics and Werewolf of Year, van Wolfswinkel

Hi, it’s Martin ‘Werewolfie’ Adams, comedy satire sports correspondent at the Greenygrey. It sure has been an exciting week and weekend of sport, and we have the best of the greenygrey werewolf action here for you.

World Championships Athletics 

Usain Bolt, just before he breaks the 200 m wo...
Usain Bolt. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The World Championships athletics was great this week, with fabulous performances by some of the world’s best in Moscow. Shelley-Anne Fraser-Pryce, Usain Bolt and Mo Farah all won two individual golds, and the former two also won relay golds too.

Bolt and Fraser-Pryce of course starred for Team GG at London 2012, and new Team GG member Nick Symmonds collected a silver in the Moscow 800 metres.

Together, they showed the style, speed and stamina needed for a world-class werewolf.

Premier League Kicks Off

The English Premier League also kicked off this weekend, and there was one story that totally over-the-moon eclipsed all others in the Greenygrey world.

Alan Partridge Premiere
Alan Partridge Premiere (Photo credit: Steve White2008)

Yes, Ricky van Wolfswinkel settled in immediately to his new greenygrey home; and also home to Alan Partridge; scoring the crucial second equalising goal on his debut for the Norwich canaries in their 2-2 draw with the Everton toffeemen.

If he continues in this vein he looks a certainty for the werewolf of the year award; once dominated by my human parallel and darts legend, Martin ‘Wolfie’ Adams.

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Match of the Day 2 Before Match of the Day Extra

Hi, it’s Greenygrey. Are you ready for the second-half of the Crows v Redbacks AusRuIcket game. Well, better get settled, because it’s kicking off soon.

FA Cup Final
FA Cup Final (Photo credit: ♥PixieDark♥)

Funnily enough, you know how there wasn’t a Match of the Day highlights programme on the weekend because of the F.A. Cup games cancelling out the English Premier League fixtures; well, there is one tonight, as there’s a full midweek EPL fixture list. So this is the Oz Match of the Day before the traditional Match of the Day.

Anyway, that’s enough of the pre-match discussion, on with the game:

44.  SECOND-HALF OF THE GAME IS NOT THE SAME…OR LAME 

The whistle blew to start the half,
our attack was higher than any Redback giraffe.
A new urgency. Down the wing, on the wing;
you should have heard the Crow llamas sing:
We love Crows, We love Crows. Because,
we flew on a Mexican wave from Andes to Oz.

Steve McQueen (song)
Steve McQueen (song) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Russell Crow put in a perfectly flighted cross, Sheryl Crow knocked it down for me on a sixpence, and I slotted it in. It was a dream start to the second half, and we were back on track. There was no time to crow about it though; we had a game to win.

Twenty minutes later, Bob Crow pulled another one back with a short snap strike, leaving the Redbacks defence red-faced as well as red-backed.

Crows were back in the game, but it’s a funny old name

But just as everything looked hunky dory
Ted Hughes Crow had to go off with poetry
Jim Crow divided the team like a tidal wave
Brandon Lee Crow tragically sent to early grave
and Charlie Crow had to fly off to trade.

Elle and Bonzo are the Ace and Joker in the Pack

Bob Crow on strikes in the Guardian
Bob Crow on strikes in the Guardian (Photo credit: Annie Mole)

We were now two players short, so I had a word with Bob, and he called a time-out. I rushed over to Elle and Bonzo, who were already on the edge of their seats.

I quickly taught them the skills of shapeshifting, and they got the hang of it in no time. Elle Crow and Bonzo Crow joined the fray without delay.

Bonzo made his presence known in no time, with some crunching tackles in the middle of the park that were reminiscent of Blackport’s Nipper Lawrence in his prime. 

It was from one of those that he won the ball, and then proceeded to dribble it past and through more legs than I could count, before slotting it straight under Redglove’s outstretched leg for our equaliser.

A Thrilling Finish to the Game

It was 3-3 with ten minutes remaining, and everything to play for. Our timewager didn’t include extra-time, so it was vital we found a winner before the end of rhyme.

But the Redbacks attacked straight from the kick-off, and moved the ball about so silkily that it looked as if it was stuck to their feet on a sticky web. They were soon inside our penalty area and threatening to score a winner of their own.

Crow Indians mounted on horseback
Crow Indians mounted on horseback (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

However, our goalie, Crow Nation, flew up to the top corner and not only saved the shot but also gathered it in its outstretched wing. It quickly threw the ball the length of the field.

Elle was upfield and onto it like a natural bird. She reached the ball before the Redback full-back and sent it flying over the stranded Redglove to put us in the lead. It was a great use of her bird body, and the Crows fans flew into a state of euphoria.

There was hardly time to restart the game, and the final whistle gave us the Crows victory we needed.

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Notes

Mexican wave is a crowd interaction that started at the 1986 World Cup in Mexico.
Andes  – South American mountain range.
The Crows – Russell Crowe (actor). Sheryl Crow (singer). Bob Crow (union leader). Ted Hughes and poem (Crow). Brandon Lee and film (The Crow). Charlie Crow sells clothes.
Blackport Rovers and Nipper Lawrence (football team and player in Tiger and Roy of the Rovers comics).
Crow Nation (Native Americans).

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2-G Winter Hamlet with Synchronised Greenygreying

2-G or not 2-G, that is the question…

Hi, it’s Max Cliffwolf, PR-guru@greenygrey. After the foxy PR stunt that snared us a Felix Baumgartner greenygrey photo last month, I’m over the full moon to say that Premier League greenygreying is all the rage this  winter season.

Synchronised Greenygreying 

As Shakespeare would no doubt be tweeting through Hamlet now if he was of this age, ‘2-G or not 2-G, that is the question…’

For while individual greenygreying can show an independent finger on the colour-combination fashion pulse, synchronised greenygreying is twice the fun, and the Greenygrey is of course by name a 2-Gist.

Synchronised Sporting Example

After the Greenygrey has individually been playing in the Premier League this season, and made some great saves, Krul and Jaaskelainen put on a fantastic men’s-doubles synchronised greenygreying display last weekend.

Good British-American Culture in Brazilian Amazon

‘Welcome to the Jungle, we’ve got greenygrey…’

Sorry about the Greenygrey version of Guns N’ Roses‘s Welcome to the Jungle, but international goalkeepers are not the only world citizens getting a taste for synchronised greenygreying. Oh no, not on your Nelly, because Michael Palin has only gone and exported it to the Brazilian jungle.

In the second episode of his Brazil series on the BBC, Palin teamed up for a spot of mixed-doubles synchronised greenygreying with American anthropologist Emi Ireland to mirror the colourful culture of the Wauja tribe.

We hope the Native Brazilians can survive the deforestation and mining in their land, save the rainforest and keep their colourful peaceful traditions intact.

And as they’ve already imported a great British tradition called football into their lives, if they want to introduce synchronised greenygreying into their culture we’d be very proud.

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Greenygrey in Premier League sponsored by Pricey Ethical Supermarket

Hi, it’s Martin ‘Werewolfie’ Adams, now fully recovered sports correspondent at the Greenygrey after the incredible summer of Olympic sport.

Greenygrey Goalie Kits in Premier League

Last season, Rob Green helped West Ham to promotion from the Championship to the Premiership wearing a glorious greenygrey goalie kit. Green moved on in the summer, and West Ham have changed strip, but the Greenygrey will play in the Premiership thanks to Reading FC, which has opted to kit out their goalies in this wonderful greenygrey combo this season:

It is fitting that they are sponsored by Waitrose, as the supermarket chain has a greenygrey colour combo logo layout design:

Disclaimer: The Greenygrey has received no payment for product placement by either Reading FC or Waitrose.

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West Ham Promoted with Greenygrey Secret Ingredient

Click To Enlarge

Hi, it’s Martin ‘Werewolfie’ Adams, sports correspondent at the Greenygrey. A few months ago we declared the West Ham goalie’s kit as the most greenygrey in the English league. Their first-choice goalie is fittingly called Rob Green.

Greenygrey Helps Win Promotion for West Ham

Yesterday, West Ham beat Blackpool 2-1 at Wembley to win promotion from the Championship to the Premiership. Rob Green was in goal wearing the greenygrey goalie outfit.

While the goalie is only 1/11th of a football team, it is probably the most important position, with the most influence on winning or losing games.

How did the Greenygrey Win the Game for West Ham?

Blackpool had the most chances, but their finishing was mostly woeful, so maybe it was the greenygrey goalie outfit that turned their strikers into missers? Or maybe the ‘camouflage’ worked, and the Blackpool players couldn’t see Green for the greenygrey, and therefore couldn’t get their bearings on goal.

Whatever the reasons, the greenygrey did the business, and lets hope more goalies and teams choose greenygrey kits next season…

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