Tag Archives: satire

I’m In a Good Plaice Now!

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From Russia with Confusion: Political Round-Up

After mentioning Russia with Cuba in the blog this week, I thought I’d round up some recent political thinking and events. I would have shown sympathy to the ‘Windrush’ victims a few years ago, but have received too much negativity, even when trying to be friendly and accommodating during the greenygrey years, although I have met many who were good. Now, I just feeling like writing the flip side of the coin is the ‘Homes Children’: vulnerable British white children who were sent around the ‘Empire/Commonwealth’ at the same time that immigrants were being enticed to Blighty! Moreover, the same kinds of children have been similarly abused over the last thirty years on our ‘sceptred isle’!!

‘Killing Own People’ Hypocrisy

Readers may ask what that’s got to do with Russia, and I only remembered half way through that paragraph. During the recent Syrian ‘chemical attack’ that resulted in Western bombing, Assad was described as being beyond evil for killing his own people; the same as Putin for the Salisbury one. As Peter Hitchens and some military experts argued, there didn’t seem to be any proof or rationale for Assad having launched the attack, as his forces were in the ascendency at the time. The Salisbury trail also seems to have gone cold, and certainly doesn’t seem as clear as ‘serial love cheat’ Boris Johnson claimed straight afterwards.

I also thought it was hypocritical for the ‘establishment’ to criticise Assad for killing own people after numerous cases of the ‘establishment’ doing just that with British people: from World War One, through the Homes Children to the recent grooming scandals, with some victims or their families having died. Soldiers are left homeless after serving the country, while the ‘establishment’ welcomes I.S. volunteers back and many such people seem to enjoy comfortable lives at the taxpayers expense.

I feel sorry for Stephen Lawrence and his family, but what about a memorial day for the victims of grooming too, such as Lucy Lowe. She was killed along with her family, but has hardly dented the national conscience, despite being even younger than Lawrence, and a whole family being attacked.

Cold War and Traitors

While I was an ideological supporter of socialism during the 1980s and 1990s, along with most working-class union members, as I wrote last week, even Russia has left communism behind now.

That means I’m freed from having any leanings toward them. Putin declaring his dislike for ‘traitors’ also makes me think I shouldn’t be a ‘traitor’ to ‘my country’. However, I still want to criticise my country, taking part in its democracy.

While I criticise ‘my country’ for seeming to ally with Islamists fighting Assad in Syria, Russia doesn’t seem to be any more virtuous, allying with Shia extremists in the self-proclaimed Islamist State of Iran. What would Marx and Lenin make of it!?

SAS Provide ‘Ideological Escape Route’?

The war against terror and I.S., defending ourselves while freeing victims such as the Yazidi women provided a world conflict I could really support. Now a return to a ‘Cold War’, seemingly divided on different sides of the Islamic Sunni-Shia civil war, doesn’t have the same inspiration. Hopefully things will get better, with Korea great news this week.

When I’ve watched documentaries about the SAS I feel that they are the closest to how I’d like to see Blighty’s image, but I also have some reservations when hearing them talk of operations against ‘communist rebels’, some of whom I probably thought had the moral high ground against a tyrannical power elite leadership.

Of course, it wasn’t the soldiers’ fault. When they sign up for the ‘country’ they have to fight where they are ordered. The Russian special forces and those from other countries are certainly no different.

The Left are Just as Biased

While I feel sorry for any innocent Rohingya victims, their conflict reminds me of the one in Kosovo I studied for my PhD thesis. In both cases the Muslim minority migrants started the conflict, and then portrayed themselves as the victims after the majority government reacted. If the Aleppo ‘chemical attack’ was a set-up, as many of the ‘victims’ claimed in a Russian news conference, saying some people just shouted it was a chemical attack and poured water over them, then it’s another case of Islamists trying to use their own people for their propaganda technique of ‘victimhood’; mixed with the strong superiority type such as I.S. torture and execution videos.

It’s ironic that some of the ‘left’ who tried to silence me for writing my views, such as the above about Kosovo, now seem to be on that side of the fence as Corbynistas; maybe they realise now what I was arguing! They probably supported the ‘underdog Italian Islamist’ against me in the department, but now she’s presenting papers at NATO conferences!!

As for me, I’m proud to be a stale pale male like Peter Hitchens… and Andrew Neil… who I usually agree with, but didn’t like his attack on poor Peter!

Death of Coffilosophy, Long Live Philosoph-tea/T

Buggles sang that Video Killed the Radio Star,
well, it looks like Kenco killed the coffilosopher,
I didn’t cry into my coffee when I saw their advert,
although seeing a Russell Brand lookalike hurt,
Thinking up a new age didn’t take me long round the bend,
coffilosophy was the beginning, philosophtea is the end.

Couple of quick poems for you inspired by Kenco’s cofficionado advert, after I’d suggested my coffilosophy five months earlier. I wrote the Folding Mirror poem below first, and then when I started writing an introduction Star and coffilosopher quickly rhymed, so I turned it into the poem above. They both have the same topic, and I think the two forms complement each other.

Coffee Has-Beans, Tea-Leaf Cleans

Kenco said : they were doing good
asked us to help, I said I would
already given them money
volunteered my coffilosophy

received no answer, five months later

cofficionado leads advertising
different name same meaning
he’s a bit posher, got a special skill
rides bike: not run of mill

Title wordplays has-beens.
Philosophtea can be shortened to philosophT.
I am a renowned runner: re. owned by my higher classes.

X Files Returns: Writer Mind Revealed

The X Files returns on Fox for its tenth series tonight, and it’s looking greenYgreyer than ever. Thanks to Fox for creating an intelligent series that makes its audience think, and question the world around them.

XaW Files: Mystery of the Writer Mind

While X Files only provided a framework for XaW Files: Beyond Humanity, the book does try to investigate my own mind, providing an insight into the difficult process of writing a whole book telling an original story, featuring multiple diverse characters who travel over the vast distances of the whole of Eurasia and beyond.

The book kept to the format of the first nine X Files series, as shown on Wikipedia:

Season Episodes Originally aired Nielsen ratings
First aired Last aired Average viewers
(millions)
Rank
1 24 September 10, 1993 May 13, 1994 N/A 111[19]
2 25 September 16, 1994 May 19, 1995 14.50[20] 63[20]
3 24 September 22, 1995 May 17, 1996 15.40[21] 55[22]
4 24 October 4, 1996 May 18, 1997 19.20[23] 20[24]
5 20 November 2, 1997 May 17, 1998 19.80[23] 11[25]
The X-Files June 19, 1998 N/A
6 22 November 8, 1998 May 16, 1999 17.20[23] 12[26]
7 22 November 7, 1999 May 21, 2000 14.20[27] 29[28]
8 21 November 5, 2000 May 20, 2001 13.93[27] 31[29]
9 20

 

November 11, 2001 May 19, 2002 9.10[30] 63[31]

XaW Files TABLE OF CONTENTS

The format of this book follows the nine series and 202 episodes television series history of the X Files. The number of episodes in each chapter also mirror the number of episodes in each series.

Introduction   –   pages 1 – 8.

Chapter 1: Russia – 24 episodes, pages 9 – 58.

Chapter 2: Baltic – 25 episodes, pages 59 – 113.
Estonia, Finland, Latvia and Lithuania.

Chapter 3: Central East – 24 episodes, pages 114 – 167.
Belorussia, Poland, Czech Republic, Slovakia and Ukraine.

Chapter 4: South East – 24 episodes, pages 168 – 221.
Hungary, Romania, Moldova, Bulgaria and Greece.

Chapter 5: Balkans – 20 episodes, pages 222 – 265.
Albania, Macedonia, Serbia, Montenegro, Bosnia, Croatia and Slovenia.

Chapter 6: Alps Western Med – 22 episodes, pages 266 – 316.
Austria, Liechtenstein, Italy, Spain and Portugal.

Chapter 7: Western Europe – 22 episodes, pages 317 – 370.
France, Switzerland, San Marino, Germany, Luxembourg, Netherlands and Belgium.

Chapter 8: Scandinavia – 21 episodes, pages 371 – 422.
Denmark, Sweden and Norway.

Chapter 9: North West – 20 episodes, pages 423 – 475.

Appendix   –  pages  476 – 488.

It’s available to buy, or rent for Prime members, on Amazon; and various other outlets too I think.

Double Dutch Greenygrey Goalies Save Falklands

Julio Cesar held on to the World Cup 2014 golden greenYgrey Number 1 goalie jersey for three weeks, as the Tour de France leader wears a yellow jersey, but his reign at the top was ended in spectacular fashion last night; like a special Stella Lagerwolf-Bruno outfit after a night on the tiles; as a great Germany team put seven goals past a depleted Brazil side without star player Neymar and best defender Silva.

César Rodriguez, cantautor.
César Rodriguez, cantautor. (Photo credit: Tonymadrid Photography)

Hi, it’s Martin ‘Werewolfie’ Adams, with yet another satirical comedy sports report from the Brazil 2014 World Cup. I am still inspired by darts legend Martin ‘Wolfie’ Adams.

Brazil = 1 Germany = 7

Poor Cesar didn’t stand a chance last night, as his defence crumbled under an efficient and skilful German team.

None of the goals were really the fault of Julio Cesar, although he might have been disappointed to let Schurrle’s second and Germany’s seventh in at his near post; although by that time it was of little consequence, and the Brazilian team was thoroughly dejected… and rejected by even most of their own fans.

Julio César
Julio César (Photo credit: mmarftrejo)

It was a sad end to the World Cup for Brazilian fans that had lived in hope rather than belief, with their current side a pale shadow of previous great teams, which peaked with Pele in the Mexico 1970 World Cup.

Manuel Neuer took over the golden greenYgrey jersey from Cesar after the game. Neuer did not have much to do during the game, although he did make a great double save at the start of the second half, but has been consistently great during the tournament.

Neuer combines great reflexes with a confident aura in the penalty box, and even plays like an extra outfield player by sweeping up long balls behind his defence. He therefore seems like the complete keeper, and a worthy winner of the golden greenYgrey jersey.

Argentina v Netherlands

The Netherlands qualified for tonight’s other semi-final with Argentina after substituting one greenYgrey goalie for another before a penalty shoot-out with Costa Rica.

Tim Krul, Jasper Cillessen, Holland, Costa Rica, Netherlands, World Cup 2014, penalties

Jasper Cillesson made way for Tim Krul, who has of course has been the golden greenYgrey goalie in the English Premier League for the last couple of seasons, as featured on this blog.

Krul saved two Costa Rican penalties to send the Dutch through to a semi-final against Argentina that evokes memories of the 1978 World Cup final in Argentina, which the Argentinians won 3-1 after extra time.

The World Cup had been a magical ticker-tapes success, but Argentina unfortunately spoiled it four years later when they invaded the Falklands Islands, which were uninhabited before Britain claimed them.

If the Dutch win tonight, a final against Germany will mirror the 1974 final forty years ago this year, although Germany were still West Germany then. West Germany beat the Netherlands 2-1 in that final.

FIFA World Cup 1974 in Germany :*Graphics by P...
FIFA World Cup 1974 in Germany :*Graphics by Poell :*Ausgabepreis: 30 Pfennig :*First Day of Issue / Erstausgabetag: 15. Mai 1974 :*Michel-Katalog-Nr: 811 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Argentina played West Germany in two World Cup finals running in 1986 and 1990, with the South Americans winning 3-2 in ’86 (after Maradona cheated in the quarter-final v England) and WG winning 1-0 in the second (after luckily beating England on penalties in the semi-final).

No European side has ever won the World Cup in the Americas.

It seems likely that this will be the first time, although Lionel Messi and La Albiceleste will be hoping to wrestle the World Cup trophy currently held by Spain back to the mixed-up land of Gauchos, Guevara and Galtieri… which is politically and sportingly dominated by the descendants of European colonists.

Tour de France Le Grand Depart Coincidence

Last week we reported the Tour de France Le Grand Depart Le Grand Coincidence, with Yorkshire also using a yellow Y like the greenYgrey, and focusing on yellowing the greenYgrey Yorkshire countryside in celebration of the world’s longest cycling race starting in the English county of Wensleydale cheese and many a golden summer ale.

Princess Kate Clothes 

Bianca Rinaldi
Bianca Rinaldi (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hi, it’s Paco Wolfsang, satirical comedy fashionista apprentica with another sweetly soporific sorty into the world of greenYgrey fashion, packed with high season hues guaranteed to put a smile on your slacks.

The coincidences kept coming on the day of the race too you know, and one was of particular interest to the fashion department in the greenYgrey.

That was Princess Kate, the Duchess of Cambridge, starting the official race at Harewood House with princes William and Harry in the greenygrey outfit made famous on this year’s Oz tour, where she visited many places made famous by Grey on its epic virtual ramble across all parts of Australia in Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps.

Salisbury Journal: Cycling fans line the streets of Leeds ahead of the Grand Depart, marking the start of 2014 Tour De France.

Umbrellas and Sunglasses

After a wet Friday afternoon and Saturday morning the thick clouds cleared by the time Le Grand Depart sent the 198 cyclists off on their epic Tour.

This made it a sunshine after the rain day in line with the Berri dance anthem adopted by the greenYgrey in May this year.