Tag Archives: Siberia

Fantasy Travel Satirical Comedy as Anton Chekhov Statue in Tomsk Stars in gYg 3

After two failed lift-off attempts I think we are at last in the right time and place, and with favourable weather conditions, to join greenYgrey on its epic third ramble. Trying to maintain XaW Files blog post standards while creating new innovative material for expectant greenYgreyliens can seem like a trudge through a Siberian steppe in deepest winter. However, it can feel rewarding once the file is complete.

Funnily enough, that’s exactly where the greenYgrey is, travelling across the Siberian steppe. Here’s its latest XaW file:

X Files Chapter 1 Episode 11: Tomsk Talking Chekhov Statue Description Locomotive near Tomsk, Russia.jpg

Fall down upon my sword
looking for another word
to rhyme with ground
exactly the right sound
I’ll use that before I get bored.

Sibiryakov and I travelled on a greenYgrey train to Tomsk. We talked about Burt the Butterfly all the way, remembering his best butterflying and greenYgreying displays, and hoped that it was enjoying its post-Krasnoyarsk life.

Anton Chekhov Statue

We saw a statue that seemed to be greenYgreying on the edge of the Tom River, so I asked it if it was in fact enjoying a spot of the social craze spreading across the human world like a wildfire.

I asked it in Penguinese, as Grey did of course learn that language in Penguin, Tasmania, on its epic Oz ramble, and the Chekhov statue had Penguinese looking feet.

The Chekhov statue raised its umbrella in an expression that seemed to say that it didn’t understand me, so I asked him again, only this time in human.

Stormy Weather!
Stormy Weather! (Photo credit: khalid almasoud)

The Chekhov statue said that it was not a penguin, and not a greenYgreyer… not by choice anyway. It explained that the Tomsk townsfolk had built it after the great Russian writer Anton Chekhov had called the Tomsk townsfolk dull while passing through on his way east to Sakhalin Island.

So his place in front of green and yellow plants was not his choice, and whether he was greenYgreying or some other colour combinating was also not his choice.

His only constant was not colouresque, but being statuesque: ‘man is what he believes… people don’t notice whether it is summer or winter when they are happy.’

Portrait of Anton Pavlovich Chekhov
Portrait of Anton Pavlovich Chekhov (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

He said that Chekhov had obviously enjoyed greenygreying, but he was not Chekhov.

Then he brought his umbrella around and turned it into a gun, saying ‘you should not put this in your story if it is not going to be important to the plot.’

Sibiryakov dived at Chekhov’s statue, and they struggled. Chekhov’s gun went off, and Sibiryakov stopped moving.

I said ‘you killed Sibiryakov’, like the South Park kids used to say ‘you killed Kenny’.

Chekhov’s statue replied ‘don’t tell me the man is dead, show me the drops of blood on my smoking gun.’

Sibiryakov died in Tomsk
in Xaw Files all’s not lost
I’ll remember Alexander
every time I meander
riding the Tomsk CoA gYg horse.

References

Anton Chekhov quotes and adaptations inspired by examples posted on Brainy Quote. Chekhov said ‘don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass’.
Chekhov’s Gun is a dramatic principle inspired by Anton Chekhov saying that if a gun is described in a story it should later by used.
CoA: Coat of Arms.

Link for Amazon book and kindle.
Link for multiple Ereaders at Smashwords.
Link for multiple Ereaders at Smashwords.
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X Files Parody Reaches Russian Siberia Krasnoyarsk

There were three writers
on Wikipedia’s Krasnoyarsk
so I thought I’d combine
them with recent thoughts
plots and characters
from XaW Files’s Russian odyssey
and the style of it and its two
predecessors in living memory
to make the tenth episode
out of a planned twenty-four
in line with X Files Season 1.
Is three hours of
research, thought and writing
an enjoyable luxury struggle
too self-centred
for a modern capitalist country
grown too over-populated
for anyone to really matter;
and in an age when everybody
is led to believe
that they do matter
because they can all create
art, media and communicate
in the quickest time
with no need to think
of the sublime.
Bring me back from my rambles
make me work 9 to 5
even if I don’t earn enough
to pay tax
you’ll have clipped wings
from air to cabinet
where you can watch
every move I make
and feel that now
you can fly higher
and feel more alive.
Sometimes I resent
working like this
for little reward
but then I remember
it’s my choice
and I’m trying to entertain
publicise and sell
doing something I like
with my World Cup dreams
having passed for longer
than they lived.

 XaW Files Chapter 1, Episode 10

Dreams of the Blighty Summer

Pleased to meet you Krasnoyarsk,
I’m sorry to disturb you, it may be crass
“no y’ ask” you say, thank you,
have you seen our Andy Wolfhol,
who I think may have passed this way,
for your city is known for natural beauty
and your name is structurally like greenYgrey
only with an extra o before the y,
and when I saw your city at twilight time
it really did look greenYgrey
with the extra o represented by orange in the sky;
although there is also pink in the sky,
and black and white mountains, snow and houses
so that would make it more like Krasnopbwyarsk
if we were true to the detail,
and did not take artistic licence.
‘Ya,’ Krasnoyarsk replied, ‘there was a werewolf
passed through some time ago
looked a little like the picture you painted
and had a mantra that went something like ‘wolf not war.’

See Andrei Makine Dreams of My Russian Summers

Let Trees be my Statues, and Clouds their Pigeons

Astafiyev, V.P.
Astafiyev, V.P. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Is a life not better remembered with a living form: a tree rather than a statue. Although statues can be great works of art, are those of life forms such as humans more representative of those life forms than other life forms, such as trees.

While a good statue can provide an image of a person during their life; often an idealised representation based on their mythology; as a Yahoo Answer stated, ‘plants have the same cellular respiratory paths to provide metabolic energy, using oxygen and giving off CO2, as animals do.’

see Viktor Astafyev statue

Thinking and Writing Better than Listening and Talking

Bert the Butterfly whispered to me that he was not a real butterfly. He had been a real butterfly once. A beautiful black, grey and white butterfly that liked to eat from yellow flowers, with green stalks. His image was captured by a human; using a camera.

WWW (Wet Wide Web) [Explored]
WWW (Wet Wide Web) [Explored] (Photo credit: Rickydavid)
That image was posted onto the WWW, and in the greenYgrey world he became Bert the Butterfly. Bert made it clear he was a metafiction: where readers are made aware that they are reading a fictional work; a literary form that makes use of elements of fairy tale construction and literary parody.

Bert said it was now time to popov, and flew back towards the natural world.

see Yevgeni Anatolyevich Popov literary style.

Butterfly eye - canon 550d
Butterfly eye – canon 550d (Photo credit: @Doug88888)

Link for Amazon book and kindle.
Link for multiple Ereaders at Smashwords.
Link for multiple Ereaders at Smashwords.

Irkutsk Fantasy Travel Prose and Poem

After a couple of months and eight chapters/episodes virtual travelling by Google Maps greenYgrey has reached the more populated west of Siberia. Irkutsk is an important city on the trans-Siberian highway and trainline. gYg is still travelling with Alexander Sibiryakov.

J.K. Rowling (of gYg world) Introduction

Hi, it’s G.G. Howling, fiction writing correspondent at the greenYgrey inspired by highly successful writer J.K. Rowling.

The new chapter of the X Files parody begins with thoughtful information mixing the greenYgrey rebranding with Irkutsk maps and symbols, before Bert the butterfly enters the story.

After a tad too much time travelling, the episode ends with a little literary nonsense poem that rhymes A-B-A-B-A-B-A-B-A-B.

XaW Files Chapter 1 Episode 9

I felt at home looking at the Irkutsk map, as it seemed to have everything that the new rebranding of the greenYgrey has to offer, with large areas of green and grey, and a yellow Y shape in the middle.

20140611110520

I also liked the Irkutsk coat of arms, featuring Dauria the Siberian tiger amongst lots of old-fashioned greenygrey, but not so much that it was carrying a sable.

Irkutsk (Irkutsk oblast), coat of arms (1790)
Irkutsk (Irkutsk oblast), coat of arms (1790) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So I liked the greenYgrey Irkutsk Oblast district one better:

English: Nizhneilimsk rayon (Irkutsk oblast), ...
English: Nizhneilimsk rayon (Irkutsk oblast), coat of arms Русский: Нижнеилимский район (Иркутская область), герб (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A butterfly called Bert then got in on the greenYgreying act, so I asked him if he’d seen anything of our Wolfhol.

He said there was a lot of greenygreyness around Irkutsk, but he didn’t know if any of it had been created by Andy. We looked all around the city, but couldn’t find any signs of Wolfhol, so Bert asked if we’d fancy some time-travelling.

The club in Irkutsk, Russia in the early 1900s
The club in Irkutsk, Russia in the early 1900s (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

We jumped at the chance, and were soon flying through time. However, we must have jumped too high, and found ourselves back in the early 1900s club.

It looked a lovely design,
but wasn’t really Wolfhol’s style,
I looked for an immaculate sign,
with horses waiting a while,
Sibiryakov had a glass of wine,
while Bert fluttered for a mile,
I suggested we follow the line,
down the street in single file,
and if we don’t find Wolfhol it’s fine,
at the arc we’ll take another time trial.

Link for Amazon book and kindle.
Link for multiple Ereaders at Smashwords.
Link for multiple Ereaders at Smashwords.

Siberian Fantasy Travel with Collies, Huskies and Cresta the Polar Bear

Something tells me the Greenygreyliens of yesterday’s blog are somehow connected to Andy Wolfhol’s disappearance. So I think it’s time for the second sensational episode of the XaW Files: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps.

X Files Parody: Chapter 1 Episode 2

The collies introduced themselves as Kolya and Oleg, and said I could call them Kol and Le. They told me more about meeting a werewolf that sounded like our Wolfhol over a herbs and edible roots dinner that warmed me up no end.

Kolyuchinskaya Island 

Black and White Siberian Husky
Black and White Siberian Husky (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

They said he’d headed south after a couple of days, painting the Siberian scenery as he went.

I slept the night in an igloo they set up for me, before heading south the next morning after a very warming berry brekkie.

Siberian Fantasy Travel

I met a Siberian husky on the crest of a hill overlooking Kresta Bay. He introduced himself as Seb, and showed me a short cut to Anadyr.

Siberian Husky
Siberian Husky (Photo credit: halfrain)

After reaching Anadyr anudder Siberian husky, called Berian, advised me to head for Karaginsky Island if I wanted to fish for answers about ol’ Wolfhol.

So I continued to the very east coast of Siberia, shapeshifted into a salmon, and swam south.

Karaginsky Island

Living down the Litke Strait, for I indeed did feel alive, I realised what Berian meant when I reached a big fish shaped island that had a great greenygrey look to it.

I tried to climb onto the island, but when I stepped out of the Strait it swallowed me up. I found myself trapped in the belly of a big fish.

P.S. I was disappointed not to meet Cresta the Polar Bear in Kresta Bay, after being a big fan back in the day:

Marc Latham has books available on Smashwords and Amazon (http://www.amazon.com/author/marclatham), including previous Greenygrey’s rambles.

 

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