Tag Archives: Victoria

Denise van Outen: Elle Movie Part is Hers

Hi, it’s Greenygrey, with the penultimate chapter of the tremendous travel-tale set in the real Victoria, Australia town of Kerang and the rock and metal magazine Kerrang. This chapter is dedicated to the dark lord comic book persona of Ozzy Osbourne, who we weren’t too keen on when he was biting animals’ heads off, but overall he seems a nice character, and a heavy metal legend who has enjoyed renewed success with Black Sabbath this year.

Fashion parade: Denise Van Outen has stepped out in a number of short dresses since her split from Lee Mead was announced
Denise van Outen nice outfit, looking tired.

Denise van Outen and Elle McPherson 

This chapter also sees Elle come into her own, with some great body action to trip Ozzy up. It reminded us of Denise van Outen, whom we have admired since her days on the Big Breakfast with Johnny Vaughan in the 1990s, which is of course one of the decades of this Kerang-Kerrang travel tale.

Denise has been accused of playing the media celebrity game lately, but Wolf Whitzer hasn’t received any evidence of this from his news sources, so we’re keeping an open mind, and concentrating on her keeping in great shape and admirably showing off her fine legs amongst this stylish greenygreyish outfit.

Yep, we think she could play the Elle part if the Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps ever makes it to the movie screen. Here’s the Ozzy and Elle comedy satire love story:

Chapter 92.  Ozzy Osbourne’s Blizzard of Ozz

As we emerged out of the Whiskey a Go-Go I saw a cloaked figure acting suspiciously in the shadows. The next thing, it was barking at the moon, and I became more than a tad worried. Was it some kind of lone-human werewolf?

Ozzy Osbourne’s Blizzard of Ozz 

Cover of "Blizzard of Ozz"
Cover of Blizzard of Ozz

Less than a minute later I felt a chilly wind on my back as a blizzard blew up out of nowhere. The shadowy figure shouted that Oz was no place for a dog, and he was going to take it to Ozz, which had 33.33% more room because of the extra z.

I realised it was the 1980s Ozzy Osbourne. With his reputation for biting the heads off creatures I thought Angry’s dog might be in great peril.

Elle Uses Her Body to Great Effect 

Denise van Outen nice outfit, hiding tiredness.

My concern seemed justified when Ozzy sprang out of the shadows singing Steal Away (The Night). Angry was still buzzing from his performance and seemed oblivious to Ozzy’s overshadowing omnipotent obtrusiveness.

Ozzy looked certain to reach Angry’s dog and snatch it away to a cold dog’s life in Blizzardy Ozz, until Elle stuck out a leg and tripped him up. A Crazy Train was passing through town on the way to the 1990s, and Elle quickly threw Ozzy on board. I thought it was a great use of her body.

Ozzy seemed impressed as well, and shouted to Elle that it wasn’t too late to join him. Elle responded with a ‘No thanks!’ This prompted Ozzy to sing Goodbye to Romance. I felt sorry for him then, but he seemed to have recovered before disappearing from earshot, as the last thing I heard him sing was, No More Tears.

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Notes

Ozzy Osbourne and solo band name/album, songs: Blizzard of Ozz, Steal Away (The Night), Crazy Train, Goodbye to Romance, No More Tears.

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Link for Amazon book and kindle.

Link for multiple Ereaders at Smashwords.
Link for multiple Ereaders at Smashwords.
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Bon Scott Inspired Character Finds AC/DC Home

Hi, it’s Greenygrey. As we enter the final 3/7ths of the Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps today’s episode is a momentous one in many ways. Not only do the Werewolf of Ozzers enter the magical rock decades 1960s to 1990s world of KerangKerrang for thirteen chapters/episodes, but one of the most important characters leaves, and the travelling quintet become a quartet once more.

Bon Scott, AC/DC and Wizard of Oz 

English: Bon Scott in Grenoble, December 10 19...
English: Bon Scott in Grenoble, December 10 1979. Français : Bon Scott lors d’un concert d’AC/DC à Grenoble le 10 décembre 1979. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This episode is paralleled in the human world by Bon Scott passing away in 1980, and the AC/DC rock group he’d played a big part in elevating to rock giantdom recording a Back in Black memorial album with Brian Johnson.

The Bonzo character in Werewolf of Oz parallels Toto in Wizard of Oz. Toto of course completed the journey.

So Bonzo’s story resembles Bon’s more than Toto’s.

Chapter 81.  Ghost Dog Bonzo Finds AC/DC Back in Black

There was a time-machine at the entrance to Kerang-Kerrang, and you could choose a decade to enter. The 1980s looked an exciting time, with the magazine-town being built and developed on a surge of metal euphoria. So we entered then.

Kerrang magazines.

Kerang-Kerrang Born too Late for Bon Scott

We had an eerie introduction to 1980s Kerang-Kerrang, walking through an arid barren region populated by just one gravestone. It reminded me of a scene out of a spaghetti western.

When we reached the gravestone I read out the inscription ‘Ronald (Bon) Scott, born 1946, died 1980.’ The next thing, Bonzo keeled over.

Bon Scott's gravestone
Bon Scott’s gravestone (Photo credit: delboy1203)

We revived Bonzo, and I asked if he knew what happened to him. He said he’d had a rush of déjà-vu when he saw the grave; as if it held some significance to his past. He’d felt an urge to dig into it, but had tried fighting it, and then his legs had given way beneath him.

AC/DC begin the Kerrang Construction

When Bonzo was steady on his paws we continued toward the first constructions in Kerang-Kerrang.

The first was a black house featuring a big mural of AC/DC’s Angus Young on the front. I was admiring it with the others, until noticing Bonzo wasn’t with us. I looked around, and poor Bonzo was on the ground again.

Bon Scott and Brian Johnson Meet

English: BRIAN JOHNSON Live with AC/DC on Nove...
English: BRIAN JOHNSON Live with AC/DC on November 23, 2008 in St. Paul, MN PHOTO BY MATT BECKER melodicrockconcerts@gmail.com (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A man wearing a flat-cap emerged and exclaimed Hell’s Bells. He introduced himself as Brian and asked what was wrong with Bonzo. We told him it was the second time it had happened today, and Bonzo’d said he’d had a sense of déjà-vu the first time. Brian said he’d go and get some food and drink. He returned with a beer and bone, and after reviving Bonzo told him to ‘Have a Drink on Me, and chew on this bone.’

Somebody shouted from the house asking him what he was doing, and he replied that he had Given the Dog a Bone. He then asked Bonzo if he could Shake a Leg, and when Bonzo showed he could, he invited us all into the house.

It was rocking in there, and a revitalised Bonzo soon became the life and soul of the party.

Bye-Bye Bonzo

You Shook Me All Night Long
You Shook Me All Night Long (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Bonzo and the householders got on so well that they asked him to stay. Having recently remembered his upbringing in nearby Melbourne, Bonzo decided that he had found his place to settle.

We were all sad to be parting from Bonzo, but understood his reasons, and stayed until the morning to make a night of it. As we waved goodbye to Bonzo and the rest of them, they sang us off with: You Shook Me All Night Long.

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Notes

Spaghetti westerns often have dramatic graveyard scenes, such as the concluding gunfight in The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.
AC/DC album and songs: Back in Black, Have a Drink on Me, Given the Dog a Bone, Shake a Leg, You Shook Me All Night Long.
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werewolf of oz book cover
Amazon Paperback and Kindle
WOOZ COVER 4
Other Ereaders.
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Victoria, Australia Literary Nonsense Poem

Hi, it’s Greenygrey. It’s that end of the weekend time of the week, so it’s time for the second episode of Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps. This is another quick travel episode/chapter told in a literary nonsense poem, eating up the Victorian miles before the Kerang-Kerrang epic thirteen chapters/episodes on the border with New South Wales.

kow swamp
kow swamp (Photo credit: niland0)

Talking of Oz and 13, congratulations to the British and Irish Lions for their first test win against the Australian Wallabies, and Black Sabbath for their new album titled 13 reaching #1 in several countries, including U.K., U.S.A., Canada and Germany.

Chapter 80.  North Victoria Fast Blast 

Sizzling progress in the morning
eating up the miles from day’s dawning.
Flat out for hours, apart from the sharp bends
by noon we’d reached Kangaroo Flat north ends.
Skipped straight through for a meeting at Eaglehawk
with a California Gully who liked to talk.
We wondered if Terrick Terrick,
was named after Terrence Malick?
Pyramid Hill pointed to Kow Swamp
where we were in need of a Wee Wee Rup,
and then it was north-west to Kerang
reminding us of a rock magazine called Kerrang.

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Notes

Terrence Malick (film director).
Kangaroo Flat, Eaglehawk, California Gully, Terrick Terrick, Pyramid Hill, Kow Swamp, Kow Swamp, Wee Wee Rup and Kerang are all real places in north-east Victoria.

werewolf of oz book cover
Amazon Link.
WOOZ COVER 4
Other Ereaders Link.

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Putting Australia on the Map… Here’s Geelong

Hi, it’s Greenygrey. I hope you enjoyed yesterday’s epic culture comedy poem. I think you might have enjoyed it more if Marc Latham had added that Hamlyn Heights, Corio, Lara, Avalon, Cocoroc and the M1 road are all real places around Geelong in Victoria in the Notes.

Geelong Map Show Werewolf of Oz Place Names

And here are the place names on the Google Geelong map; linking to Google Maps if it’s too small below. Can you find all the place names? I hadn’t realised there’s a Lara and an Avalon; quite a coincidence after Lara Croft Avalon; and quite near to each other.

Geelong map

Australian Place Names on the Map

We hope that appearing in the Werewolf of Oz book provides a thrill for the people involved in the places, and fans of the media/music etc; as appearing in The Simpsons is supposed to be.

While it probably won’t mean much to people from Sydney and Melbourne, who are used to their cities being featured in the media, hopefully it will be to people of smaller places like Meekatharra and Humpty Doo.

Crocodile Dundee Shot again
Crocodile Dundee Shot again (Photo credit: slowe6847)

And hopefully it might bring them some additional tourist revenue. While place names appearing in the Werewolf of Oz is unlikely to make people travel across the world like the movie did; if tourists are already in Oz and going nearby, maybe it’ll inspire them to make a little detour to see that cool sounding place they’ve read about.

I think that the omission of some real place names in the Notes is the only criticism I’d make of Marc Latham’s editing, and they’ll be added for the upcoming Smashwords ebook release…

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Literary Nonsense Poem told in the First Werewolf

Hi, it’s Greenygrey. It’s definitely time for the first episode of Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps of the week, as it’s Friday. As sunny weather dominates the U.K. and people think more about having a drink, it could also be good timing, as this episode is all about the morning after meeting a very nice Australian institution: Victoria Bitter.

Australian 375 ml stubbie
Australian 375 ml stubbie (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Victoria Bitter is more commonly known as VB, and is popular outside Victoria too. We recommend enjoying a beer, but drinking responsibly, unlike our Ozysseyians, who are feeling a bit worse for wear. Here’s the completely literary nonsense Geelong hangover poem episode, told in the first werewolf (stories are usually told in the first, second or third person in the human world) by Grey:

73.  MEETING THEE VB IS AN UNFORGETTABLE EXPERIENCEY 

So Long Geelong, Thee VB Ode Memories

Waking up in Tin Can Alley
overlooking Metal Valley
I wondered where we were
the previous night a blur
Angry had a bruised head
Bonzo was painted red
Elle’s hair was all a mess
Cathy looked like Queen Bess
I was lying across the yard
like an outdated discard
then Cathy recounted the night before
how we’d all danced around the floor
after meeting a fine Victorian beer
VB was our friend for life but not without fear
for it could taste so delicious on a hot day
that your mind and body would lose their way.

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Notes 

Tin Can Alley and Metal Valley are fictional. VB is real.

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werewolf of oz book cover

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