Hi, it’s Greenygrey. We thought we’d get the Australia Day greenygrey festivities off to a musical start with Grey’s Oz version of Madonna’sDon’t Cry For Me Argentina, with lyrics adapted from the AZ Lyrics.comsite.
Madonna has supported the Greenygrey in the past, as shown in the accompanying photo, which resident archaeological comedian Tony Loboinson has unearthed. He thinks it’s one of the earliest examples of the greenygreying fashion craze in pop culture.
Here’s Grey’s song for Australia:
Don’t Cry For Me Australia
So I chose freedom
Rambling around, trying everything new
And heaps impressed me
I never expected it to
Don’t cry for me Australia
The truth is I never left you
All through my wild days
My mad existence
I kept my promise
Don’t keep your distance
And as for fortune, and as for fame
I never invited them in
Though it seemed to the world they were all I desired
They are illusions
They are not the solutions they promised to be
The answer was here all the time
I love you and hope you love me
Don’t cry for me Australia
Have I said too much?
I know you’d rather be watching the bush telly
But all you have to do is look at me to know
That every word is bonzer.
Yes, 2013 has been the year of the WoO in the Greenygrey world, and this episode is quite appropriate for celebrating the New Year, as food and merriment inspires Grey to remember his Ozyssey all the way back to its start in Western Australia.
This blog will be posted in time for the first New Year celebrations, with New Zealand and surrounding islands’ entry into 2014 less than two hours away. The new year will then travel across Australia from east to west; the opposite way to that travelled by Grey in its epic virtual travel quest.
Thanks for your visits in 2013 from all of Team GG. Have a Happy New Year, and good luck for 2014.
Chapter 136. Searching for Survivors after Battle of Bri’s Bane
I rose into a mix of joy and relief; sadness and loss. Many had given their lives on Greenslopes. I was relieved that Angry, Cathy and Elle quickly joined me, and to see they were all in good health.
Aussie and Digger soon turned up as well, and were looking swell; Aus said it only received a flesh wound. Then Vombat the Wombat pushed its way through the crowd, with a relieved look on its face.
I could see Brian and Emily with the chinchilla survivors, but where were the Collie twins?
Searching for the Collie Twins
I asked the others if they’d seen the Collies. Digger said they’d been fighting heroically the last time it’d seen them, which was near the end of the battle. None of them had seen the Collies at the end of the battle. I started walking down the hill, looking through the bodies, dreading finding the Collies in a bad state.
A cascade of cheers rolled down from the top of the hill. I looked behind me and was filled with relief: the Collie twins were alive and well, and being carried along by a crowd of chinchillas. I rushed up the hill to them, and saw they were all eating buns.
I made my way through the munching mass, and asked the twins where they’d been.
Ollie was too busy bun-munching above the bunch to hear; but Colin said that after the fighting finished they noticed a rich bun seam had been exposed by all the disruption, so they’d straightaway started bun-mining to feed the hungry survivors. He handed me a freshly mined rough-cut bun.
I laughed and thanked him, before biting into a bun that tasted just as delicious as those I’d eaten in Bunbury.
As I savoured the taste, and memories of Ozyssey evoked, I thought how Bunbury and Bri’s bane were on different sides of Oz, but would be quite close together in a dictionary. I thought there must be a lesson there somewhere, but was too busy bun-munching to brainwave.
After the epic reunion in the last chapter/episode, they leave the Emerald Cave in this episode, and meet some new allies along the way. This is of course like what happens in Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit.
It’s the general travel quest formula, creating a story that is enjoyable, as well as exciting.
It’s another long chapter/episode, so I’ll let you rejoin the Werewolf of Ozzers as they head north up the Oz east coast. There’s explanation about the episode in the notes at the end.
Chapter 131. Churchilla’s Chinchilla Commandos of Goya
Reacquainting with the Collie twins was like digging into the past and striking pure gold; or maybe finding the best buns is a more appropriate metaphor when thinking about Bunbury’s Collie twins.
Everybody was enjoying the moment, although we knew that a bruising battle lay ahead with Bri’s bane.
We partied through the night, with a band of Beatles starring in the Cavern, and then headed north the next morning.
Liaising with the Chinchilla Chinchillas
Emily and Brian led us through the green-lit tunnels for ten hours, until we at last reached the safe haven of Chinchilla.
The Chinchilla chinchillas were also locked in a perennial struggle with Bri’s bane, so we were warmly welcomed.
Emily and Brian introduced us all to the chinchilla leader, Pancho Churchilla, and he thanked us for our support.
When evening arrived, we all ascended into the fresh air, and basked in the Chinchilla sunset chinchilla style.
Chinchillas of Goya
We rested overnight underground in the burrow barracks of the Chinchillas of Goya (COG); a crack unit of chinchilla commandos that are the teeth of the chinchilla army sprocket.
They gave us their nests and slept on the floor, as their training had hardened them to such inconvenience.
I didn’t like to take the nest, but we had been on a long hard journey; as long as the COG could maintain rotation without such self-maintenance.
Born to Bask
Someone had scrawled a message on the rock next to my nest that haunted my sleep that night. It said: Born to Bask, Live for Task.
It was signed CC, so I guess it must have been Cilla Chinchilla who wrote it; Pancho said she was the one who normally slept there. I thought it was a shame such a chilled chinchilla had to live this way, and dreamt that one day soon the chinchillas would be able to once more bask in peace.
We were awoken early. After a short preparation we started on our final march to Bri’s bane. Nerves, excitement and fear all mixed together to activate anarchic adrenalin.
The Beatles found fame at the Cavern club. Pancho Villa (Mexican revolutionary leader). Winston Churchill (British Prime-Minister during World War Two).
Goya was a 19th century painter, and one of his paintings was named Los Chinchillas. The COG idea was set in motion when Los Chinchillas was suggested as an image by Zemanta on the Werewolf of Oz wordpress blog.
Dolphins seem to want to play all day
it’d be nice if we could leave them that way
respecting them as our intelligent aquatic cousins
and appreciate them teaching us marine biology lessons.
Hi, it’s Greenygrey. It was great to return from a long weekend away yesterday and see a postcard that seems to bear ol’ Wolfhol’s distinctive and almost certainly impossible to forge signature on this blog.
It looks like he’s in a good proud peacock place, which along with the fun introductory poem is nice for today’s blog, as it features a sad episode of the usually satirical comedy literary nonsense filled Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps.
However, as well as being a comedy classic it is also a travel quest epic, and as anybody acquainted with the genre knows, sometimes there’s just got to be a tragedy. And that’s what we have in this episode, a complete and utter unnecessary tragedy.
I shapeshifted into human form after we moored on the edge of Swan Lake, and looked up the Swan Lake tale on Wikipedia before going to Cudmirrah with the people. Barry and family were happy to lounge in the lake.
Swan Lake Cudmirrah Swan Lake
A man approached us on the edge of town and introduced himself as Prince Siegfried. I said I was pleased to meet him, but thought twice about that after his next words.
He said he was about to harpoon me when I was a dolphin; but then he saw me change into a human, and fell madly in love with me.
I thought this Cudmirrah Swan Lake situation could mirror the Swan Lake plot a little too much for my liking.
So I said I was just passing through, and although very flattered, wouldn’t be able to spend any time with him. He looked a tad disappointed, but seemed to accept it.
We continued into Cudmirrah, which is a lovely town in a beautiful setting, and stocked up on provisions for the onward journey.
We were about to leave the lake and head out to open sea, when we saw the prince dive into the far end of the lake. An older woman shouted, ‘Siegfried, no, don’t do it, come back.’
Swan Lake Tragedy
I was shocked, but didn’t want to get involved. Barry said he wanted to help, so he untied his harness, and started swimming toward the prince; his wife and children followed, hot on his tailfluke.
We watched them closely, and paid a heavy price for it. For as our dolphin friends rose out of the water and into the air, half-way there, a salvo of harpoons landed all amongst and around them.
I finally broke free of my harness, and set off to look for our bottlenose buddies, but half-way there I saw them ascending into the ether; clicking and smiling with what looked like love, just the same as when they’d played in the water. It was a scene straight out of Swan Lake, literally and metaphorically.
In Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake (1875-1876), Prince Siegfried falls in love with Odette, who is turned into a swan by sorcery. It was inspired by Russian folk tales.
Hi, it’s Greenygrey. First of all, I’d like to congratulate the British parliament for voting against military action in Syria. It’s a sensible decision reflecting the will of the majority of the British people, showing democracy working well. I think Prime-Minister Cameron was rash in his calls for action, but magnanimous after the House of Commons defeat.
Badger’s Bane to Potty Pigeons
On a more environmental note in the U.K.,
for wolf – environmental week at the Greenygrey,
I also disagree with David Cameron‘s decision to cull badgers, but accept the government’s decision in line with our democracy; although it wasn’t put to a vote in parliament.
Anyway, enough of the serious stuff, here’s the next episode of Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps. After the extended episodes epic Lord of the Rings themed story, this episode is another standalone breather like the last one in Berridale, as the travel quest quartet reach Cooma for more pigeon and partridge pottiness.
Pigeon Partridge Potty Pranks
Yes, I did mean to write ‘more’ above, because this episode connects back to an earlier episode with pigeon pranks-a-plenty.
Yes, all the way back to chapter thirteen, when Grey was still a lone travelling werewolf in Western Australia, before it met Bonzo, Elle, Angry and Cathy; and got into trouble with the Monotonous Monotheists at Meekatharra before being helped out by the Mildly Monotonous Moby in chapter twenty.
Anyway, there’s links to the old chapter above, and here’s the new:
Chapter 101. Coo ma, it’s the Pigeon Mothers of Cooma
We didn’t know what Cooma could provide at the late hour we arrived. Our bellies were all berried out, and seemed to have been racing to rumble the roarest more than our legs had been spinning to speed the slickest. My hopes rose at the Cooma city limits when we were met by a pigeon in a pinafore that was quick to come to the fore.
Pigeon Mothers of Cooma
She cooed a welcoome and introduced herself as Patricia. She said she was one of the many pigeon mothers of Cooma, although she’d been named after her grandmother, who was a member of The Partridge Family.
Patricia said they’d heard we were on our way from the pigeons in Coorow; the Coorowgeons had sent a carrier with a message about our journey. As time passed, they’d thought it must be literary nonsense, and Coorow had just wanted something to coo about; but our arrival meant it had not been nonsense after all. It had all turned out cooshty in the end.
The not nonsense phrase was probably inspired by Joseph Heller’s Catch-22, which the author was reading at the time.
cooshty – cushty is slang for good. The Partridge Family was a television series.
Hi, it’s Greenygrey. We hope you’re all having a wonderful weekend, and think that if there’s one thing the dog-end of a good weekend needs, it’s a Werewolf of Oz episode.
In this thrilling episode, Grey and Bonzo; who you might have noticed are travelling, not only like Dorothy and Toto from the Wizard of Oz, but also like Gilgamesh and Enkidu, and Kerouac and Cassady, if you read our recent blog and Marc Latham’s latest post on fmpoetry; eat up the Oz google map miles by visiting Nitmiluk, having crossed the state border from Western Australia to the Northern Territories.
We love a bargain at the Greenygrey, so the BOGOF (buy one get one free) offers have a special place in our minds… but have since been downgraded after the arrival of ‘buy one get two free’ and ‘better than half price’ offers.
So without further ado, here’s the first story of what is really Chapter Two:
24. BOGOL IN THE NORTHERN TERRITORY
Kimberley showed us the way through her land, and took us to the edge of the Northern Territory. We thanked her and bade her farewell, before going farther into the outback.
We grabbed a few hours sleep in the late morning, before running with the road trains in the early afternoon. We reached Nitmiluk at tea-time. There were rollicking rhapsodies emitting from a tavern in the middle of town called The One More Before I Croak, so we thought we’d enter for a drink or three.
It turned out to be a wise decision, because a frog fivesome Herman’s Hermits copy band called Kermy’s Kermits were belting out classic croak n’ roll tunes on stage.
Knit Me Luck inNitmiluk
It started to get chilly in the evening, so we went shopping for extra clothing. It didn’t take long to find a cheap sheep shop. Moreover, it had a buy one knitted jumper and get one knitted for luck offer. It sounded like an interesting variation on the BOGOF (Buy One Get One Free) theme: more BOGOL. It seemed ideal for me and Bonzo to get one each.
So we did indeed partake in the offer, and Bonzo had a jumper knitted for luck by a serenely sleepy sheep called Siddharta.
Kermit the Frog (Muppets character).
Herman’s Hermits (1960s band).
Siddharta (the original Buddha).
Hi, it’s Greenygrey. Further to our explanation about the significance of Grey meeting Bonzo in our last blog, it is of course the Wizard of Oz theme catching up with the Werewolf of Oz. In the Wizard of Oz Toto travelled with Dorothy from the start, but adaptations hardly ever mirror totally, and ours is no different (no, ours is not the greenygrey one below).
In the Werewolf of Oz Bonzo takes the part of Toto, and joins in chapter 17. And without further ado, here’s the moment for you to view:
17. BONZO SCOTTIE ON THE HIGHWAY TO LANCELIN
I said adios to Don and Sancho in the morning, before heading up the highway. Not long after, I saw a ghostly dog apparition hitch-hiking.
Bonzo Scottie Joins the Ozyssey
I greeted it when I reached it. It introduced himself as Bonzo Scottie, before asking if this was the Highway to Hell. I replied that I was a stranger in these parts, but didn’t think so; as far as I knew, it was the highway to Lancelin, which didn’t sound much like Hell. Poor Bonzo seemed upset, as if he had the Downpayment Blues. He said he thought he’d been stripped of his soul, and that he might find it in Hell, which ain’t supposed to be a bad place to be.
I said I thought searching for Hell should be the last resort, and I didn’t think it was up ahead, but he was quite welcome to Ride Onwith me.
Bonzo agreed, and cheered up on the way to Lancelin; we seemed to reach it in no time. Upon arrival, we met a sea lion called Celia Ono, and she recommended the windsurfing, dune buggying and sandboarding that were very popular on the pristine beaches.
We didn’t need much arm-twisting, and had a fabulous afternoon and evening enjoying the beach sports. Celia had great balance, and I had to laugh when Bonzo exclaimed that the Girl’s got Rhythm.
AC/DC songs: Highway to Hell, Downpayment Blues, Soul Stripper, Hell Ain’t A Bad Place To Be, Ride On, Girl’s got Rhythm. Yoko Ono (artist and musician).
Hi, it’s Greenygrey. Lynyrd Skynyrd’s ramblin’ video was a reminder that we haven’t had an episode from Grey’s epic classic comedy-fantasy Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Mapsfor quite a while. Why, in the last episode, Grey was enjoying itself in Grey, which was a nice place to stay. Here’s what happened next:
15. DON QUIXOTE AND SANCHO PANZA FROM CERVANTES
I left Grey feeling glad to be Grey. I thought I could whizz down to Perth in no time, but fancied more company, so I hitch-hiked from Cervantes.
As we drove down the Brand Highway we saw an odd-looking couple hitching south. Sancho picked them up as well. The hitchers introduced themselves as Jo and Russell Brand. It didn’t take long before they were cracking jokes left, right and centre, so it turned out to be a fun ride.
Although it meant more room for me, I was quite sad when we dropped the Brands off on the edge of the Badginarra National Park. They said they were going to stay with a band of badgers.
The van calmed down a little after that, but was still very jolly, with Don jumping about to Midnight Oil and Men at Work music.
The Edge of Perth
We whizzed along the edge of Perth, passing Cataby, which was full of cats; Orange Springs, which was very orange; and the Moore River National Park, which had less river than I expected.
I don’t know what was going on in Beermullah; it seemed confused. That was not the case with Banksia Grove, where artistic paintings told a clear story.
We arrived in Perth with space and time having sped by, and many great memories stored in my noggin.
Hitching can be dangerous.
noggin – slang for head.
Sancho Panza and Don Quixote (fictional characters created by Cervantes, which is also the name of a Western Australia town).
Jo Brand and Russell Brand (British comedienne and comedian).
Midnight Oil and Men at Work (Aussie bands).
Banksy (British artist).
Hi, it’s Greenygrey, we’ve held our sports correspondent back for another day, after GG’s fave team, Team GB, had a disastrous disappointing first day. At least the GB ladies football team had another good win, and Brazil’s ladies have chosen to employ the Greenygrey backroom staff that worked so well for Portugal in Euro 2012. Here’s a photo of the BACKroom staff in action from the BBC coverage:
We thought we’d cheer up all GG fans Team GB supporters with an episode of Grey’s comedy-fantasy classic Werewolf of Oz, and here it is:
14. GREY TAKES GREY ROAD TO GREY
I gathered momentum after passing Coorow, and was soon on the Green Head Road. This of course reminded me of my other half Green, and I became quite nostalgic once again. At least it took my mind off Latham, which was pushed to the extremities of my memories.
Greyt Welcome for Grey in Grey
I was making good progress toward Perth when I found myself on the Grey Road to Grey. Unbelievable I know, but true and totally unplanned! If I was writing pure fiction I wouldn’t dare include it! It’s finding hidden little treasures like this that keep the magic of virtual travelling alive for me.
When I entered Grey there was another surprise (purely fictional this time!), because there were welcome signs for me everywhere. One read: ‘The Grey is Greyt’; while another went a little too far for my liking, although it did sound rather tasty: ‘The Grey is Veggie Gravy Filled with Fried Onions on Top of Mashed Potato and Mushrooms.’ I appreciated the thought all the same… and the recipe.
Hi, it’s Greenygrey. We’ve got one regular feature following hot on the heels of the other one again this week. The next thrilling instalment of Amazon’s best-selling werewolf travelling around Australia to the theme of the Wizard of OzWerewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps is only half a day after last night’s newest Marc Latham Folding Mirror poem. Things sure are hotting up at the Greenygrey. Anyway, I’m beginning to ramble, reminding me of my/our classic first ramble around North America, and I can’t hope to compete with Mr. Wolfhol’s poetry introduction, so here’s Grey’s Werewolf of Oz:
The desert chose my direction, or at least limited my options; I was heading to north and new, and the alternative was south and scary. I was happy to be. Just to be. To be without decisions, pressures and stress. To be the only life I could see. To be able to sing thinking I was in harmony; without anyone to contradict me. Although my feet kept to the road, my mind flew this way and that; to the north, west, south and east horizons; looking north to the future, south at the past, and wondering about what I have missed and will miss to the east and west. Sometimes my thoughts settled into the outback, nothing in nothingness; it was a nice place to be.
Pigeons Line the Coorow Road
As I approached Coorow on the Coorow Road, there were hundreds of pigeons on either side of my route. They were cooing a poem that rang a bell somewhere in my mind, so my brain was hearing a repetitive: ‘ding, dong, coo, coo, ding, dong, coo, coo.’
I wasn’t too amused at first, and thought the town could do with a coup to stop all the cooing, but then it began to sound sweeter and more melodic the more I heard it.
I finally worked out that it was Marc Latham’s Pigeons on the Wing they were reciting; a poem pastiche of Pink Floyd’s Pigs on the Wing also incorporating Prince’s When Doves Cry written from a pigeon point of view ending on a high with the lines:
‘Through blue skies to green trees,
where we coo in peace.’
As well as the author’s own travel experiences, Jack Kerouac and Paul Theroux’s travel memoirs probably inspired the first paragraph, although the author had not read either’s writing for eight months beforehand.