Fantasy Travel Tomsk Womble Talks Chekhov’s Gun

Today’s episode of the XaW Files: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps Across Eurasia uncannily and uncaninely features the Wombles of Wimbledon just after the Wimbledon tennis tournament took place.

The Wombles are set to return, like Monty Python and Dangermouse, in a revival of good 1970s British culture.

English: Preparing the lawn in Court #1. RATC Wimbledon, London, UK (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

By the way, there’s so much sport been going on lately that William Wolfsworth called himself a sport correspondent yesterday. He does like a game of football, but I think that was an own goal.

Hi, it’s G.G. Howling, fantasy travel correspondent at the greenYgrey inspired by J.K. Rowling in the human world. Here’s episode 12:

Chapter 1 Episode 12: Tomsk Times Two

Chekhov’s statue returned to its plinth position and stood still and silent as if nothing had ever happened.

I was wondering what to do with Sibiryakov’s body when a Womble I remembered as Tomsk wandered along and cleared the body up.

Underground, overground, wombling free (219/365) (Photo credit: Mags_cat)

I thanked Tomsk, and said I’d been a fan of his when the Wombles were at their peak, although Orinoco was my favourite. I asked him where Orinoco is now. Tomsk replied that he’d returned to his river in South America.

Tomsk Talks Chekhov

Tomsk asked if I knew Sibiryakov, as he brushed his body up into his bag.

I said I had met him on the road to Irkutsk, and he’d seemed a very interesting travel companion.

Tomsk said it was a shame, but Chekhov’s gun kept on being used, and many fictional characters had been killed by it over the years.

Chekhov Helps Tomsk

Wimbledon Common autumn mist (Photo credit: wimbledonian)

‘Still, I suppose it keeps me in stories, and gives my work a deeper meaning,’ added Tomsk.

I replied that it did seem to have matured a lot since its time on Wimbledon Common.

Tomsk sighed, ‘Ah, they were carefree days I look back on with fondness. I was young then, and living far away from home. Returning to my Russian city made me seek a bigger mission in life. I had collected so many pieces of paper and sweet wrappers I was ready for a new challenge. When I saw the bodies piled up around the Chekhov statue it rekindled my enthusiasm for public health and sanitation. Chekhov’s statue is alright most of the time, it’s just when it hears philosophical and literary talk that it wakes up and uses its gun.’

‘Well, I’d better be off,’ said Tomsk, ‘it was nice talking to you. I’ve been expecting you for some time; since I told Sibiryakov about you in Tobolsk.’

Anatoly Chekhov – Teenage Soviet sniper at Stalingrad! (Photo credit: Za Rodinu)

Sibiryakov Tomsk Link Remembered

I remembered then that Sibiryakov had indeed told me that Tomsk had told him about me. I asked Tomsk if there was some meaning to the connection between the three of us.

‘It is the self-fulfilling philosophy of Chekhov’s Gun,’ replied Tomsk, before he shuffled away along the Tom River banks looking not unlike he had on Wimbledon Common.

Anton Chekhov, Russian writer, (1860-1904).

Link for Amazon book and kindle.

Link for multiple Ereaders at Smashwords.

Weekend of Sport Satirical Comedy Highlights

There was a great weekend of sport in Britain, as the Tour de France riders departed on their long journey from Yorkshire to Paris via the south of France; the British Formula One Grand Prix roared around Silverstone, and the Wimbledon tennis finals took place. There was some great sporting action, and a lot of the highlights were in glorious greenYgrey.

Tour de France in Yorkshire

Hi, it’s Martin ‘Werewolfie’ Adams, satirical comedy sports correspondent at the greenYgrey inspired by darts legend Martin ‘Wolfie’ Adams.

The crowds and weather surpassed even the brightest hopes in Yorkshire, as two and a half million people are thought to have cheered the Tour de France from its Grand Depart in Leeds to Harrogate, and York to Sheffield, on the first two stages of its long journey to Paris.

There were mostly blue skies through throughout the weekend in Yorkshire, but the BBC does lead with this old-fashioned greenygrey photo on its website. Perhaps it is fitting, as the tour travelled through Bronte country around the village of Haworth.

Today the Tour travels from Cambridge to London on the third and final stage in England, before continuing in France.

Team GB‘s defending champion and Team Sky rider Chris Froome is currently in fifth place, after Vincenzo Nibali won Stage Two utilising all the greenYgreying skills vital for  cycling in Yorkshire.

Lewis Hamilton Wins British Grand Prix for Team GG

Lewis Hamilton gave Britain a home victory as he won the British Grand Prix at Silverstone for Team GG/Mercedes.

Mercedes/Team GG teammate Nico Rosberg was disappointed that his race was ended by car trouble, but it had nothing to do with its greenygrey colour design.

Rosberg showed he didn’t blame the greenygrey when he appeared with it afterwards.

Wimbledon Men’s Tennis Final

Wimbledon provided wall-to-wall greenYgrey for a fortnight, but fizzled out at the end for greenYgrey interest.

Old Team GG stalwart and King of Clay Rafa Nadal struggled on grass again, while Team GB’s Andy Murray lost to new Team GG player GriGor Dimitrov.

So it was left to sometimes Team GG player Novak Djokovic to defeat the old vampire nemesis Roger Federer on a spectacularly greenYgrey centre court. Old legend Federer had done well to reach the Wimbledon final after a couple of years absence from a Grand Slam final.

Wimbledon Women’s Tennis Final

While it didn’t look like there was much to choose between Petra Kvitova and Eugenie Bouchard in the women’s singles final, the greenYgrey was 75% supporting Bouchard, but Kvitova won 75% of the play!

We were hoping to see Bouchard boo(merang) hard, but it wasn’t to be this time! Congratulations to Kvitova for winning her second Wimbledon title, and here’s Bouchard in a previous trophy-winning boomerang.

Fantasy Travel Satirical Comedy as Anton Chekhov Statue in Tomsk Stars in gYg 3

After two failed lift-off attempts I think we are at last in the right time and place, and with favourable weather conditions, to join greenYgrey on its epic third ramble. Trying to maintain XaW Files blog post standards while creating new innovative material for expectant greenYgreyliens can seem like a trudge through a Siberian steppe in deepest winter. However, it can feel rewarding once the file is complete.

Funnily enough, that’s exactly where the greenYgrey is, travelling across the Siberian steppe. Here’s its latest XaW file:

X Files Chapter 1 Episode 11: Tomsk Talking Chekhov Statue

Fall down upon my sword
looking for another word
to rhyme with ground
exactly the right sound
I’ll use that before I get bored.

Sibiryakov and I travelled on a greenYgrey train to Tomsk. We talked about Burt the Butterfly all the way, remembering his best butterflying and greenYgreying displays, and hoped that it was enjoying its post-Krasnoyarsk life.

Anton Chekhov Statue

We saw a statue that seemed to be greenYgreying on the edge of the Tom River, so I asked it if it was in fact enjoying a spot of the social craze spreading across the human world like a wildfire.

I asked it in Penguinese, as Grey did of course learn that language in Penguin, Tasmania, on its epic Oz ramble, and the Chekhov statue had Penguinese looking feet.

The Chekhov statue raised its umbrella in an expression that seemed to say that it didn’t understand me, so I asked him again, only this time in human.

Stormy Weather! (Photo credit: khalid almasoud)

The Chekhov statue said that it was not a penguin, and not a greenYgreyer… not by choice anyway. It explained that the Tomsk townsfolk had built it after the great Russian writer Anton Chekhov had called the Tomsk townsfolk dull while passing through on his way east to Sakhalin Island.

So his place in front of green and yellow plants was not his choice, and whether he was greenYgreying or some other colour combinating was also not his choice.

His only constant was not colouresque, but being statuesque: ‘man is what he believes… people don’t notice whether it is summer or winter when they are happy.’

Portrait of Anton Pavlovich Chekhov (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

He said that Chekhov had obviously enjoyed greenygreying, but he was not Chekhov.

Then he brought his umbrella around and turned it into a gun, saying ‘you should not put this in your story if it is not going to be important to the plot.’

Sibiryakov dived at Chekhov’s statue, and they struggled. Chekhov’s gun went off, and Sibiryakov stopped moving.

I said ‘you killed Sibiryakov’, like the South Park kids used to say ‘you killed Kenny’.

Chekhov’s statue replied ‘don’t tell me the man is dead, show me the drops of blood on my smoking gun.’

Sibiryakov died in Tomsk
in Xaw Files all’s not lost
I’ll remember Alexander
every time I meander
riding the Tomsk CoA gYg horse.

References

Anton Chekhov quotes and adaptations inspired by examples posted on Brainy Quote. Chekhov said ‘don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass’.
Chekhov’s Gun is a dramatic principle inspired by Anton Chekhov saying that if a gun is described in a story it should later by used.
CoA: Coat of Arms.

Link for Amazon book and kindle.

Link for multiple Ereaders at Smashwords.

Fine Margins for Food Sales as well as Sport

Hi, it’s Harry Silhouetteof-Wolfhowlingonhill, tv expert at the Greenygrey. I’ve been amazed at some of the fine margins between victory and defeat in the Euro 2012 football and Wimbledon tennis. It reminded me of a documentary I watched recently, about Jimmy Doherty trying to get cheap free-range food into a supermarkets.

Free range hens, near their coop and surrounded by electrified poultry netting. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Jimmy and the Giant Supermarket

In Jimmy and the Giant Supermarket rare breed pig breeder Jimmy Doherty tried to get free-range meatballs, sausages and chicken kievs into Tesco supermarkets at the same price as factory farmed meat.

Doherty succeeded with two out of three (sausages and kievs from what I remember). The sausages only sold enough to continue on trial, while the kievs sold well.

Hopefully this shows that free-range can be produced as cheaply as factory-farmed.

The documentary suggested that what supermarkets sell depends on the initiative of farmers like Jimmy, and what people buy. It is available on Channel 4 (in the UK at least) for 8 more days.

Wimbledon 2012: a Greenygrey Perspective

Hi, it’s Greenygrey. While ‘Werewolfie’ has been keeping us updated on the Euro 2012 football championships we’ve been at the Wimbledon tennis tournament. We’ve been very impressed with the way the greenypurple has led from the front.

WIMBLEDON, ENGLAND – JUNE 18: A woman walks in the rain under a Wimbledon umbrella at the All England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club ahead of the Wimbledon Lawn Tennis Championships on June 18, 2011 in London, England. The Championships which are celebrating their 125th anniversary this year begin on June 20, 2011. (Image credit: Getty Images via @daylife)

While the greenypurple enjoys the limelight in the foreground, guess who’s doing most of the work in the background…! Not that we’re complaining; we’re just glad to be there:

The greenypurple has also taken a back seat at times:

And we’ve worked independently sometimes too:

We hope the greenyblue is going to do more work in the second week…