Hi, it’s Greenygrey. We can’t be bothered creating anything new, so here’s the next thrilling episode of the classic epic comedy-fantasy Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps.
7. LASSIE COMES HOME TO SAVE THE DAY FOR THE FADE TO GREY
The Collie twins whispered amongst themselves, before telling me they thought my story sounded suspicious. They had heard of the legendary Greenygreys, but one hadn’t been seen in these parts for many a century, and they had never heard of one dividing into Green and Grey.
I was starting to think the game was up, but then the Shetland sheepdog I’d seen earlier returned.
Saved by a Hero
It introduced itself as Lassie, and said that with its fantastic hearing ability it had overheard part of our conversation. Lassie then got me off the hook by telling the Collies that it recognised me as one half of the Greenygrey from I’m A Celebrity Werewolf…Get Me Out of Here. It had been studying the programme on the Full Moon Satellite Channel for a part in an upcoming film, so had taken particular notice.
I then realised it was THE Lassie, legendary Hollywood star. I felt full-on flabbergastation to have met a fellow celebrity way out in the outback; to be saved by a dog that I’d admired for so long because of its saving ability was like a dream come true.
Colin and Ollie relaxed once Lassie had saved the day,
and welcomed me to Collie with tails awaggay,
I shapeshifted back, slowly fading to Grey,
we entered the town, with Lassie leading the way.
Collie is Proud of its Colliering
I saw at once how proud Collie is of its colliering. While many of their buns are exported to Bunbury, they also keep enough to feed all the Collie collies.
Lassie took me to some of the finest bunneries Collie has to offer, and we feasted on bunches of buns. I think my favourite was the collar bone collie bun, which was the shape of a collar bone, and came in several different sizes; such as collie, wolf and human.
In the afternoon, we visited the Wellington National Park for a scenic forest and river walk. I was surprised it was so green, and that of course reminded me of my Green other half. I hoped ol’ Green was still okay back home. We frequented the Bunfields Museum in the evening, where there were bun-mining exhibits going back centuries.
Lassie provided shelter that night, and as we chatted until late my plans changed. I’d said I was heading to Perth next, but Lassie suggested I detour to the small town of Latham, which it considered quite interesting.
The name reminded me of our ol’ partner, Marc Latham, so I thought I’d take Lassie’s advice. It’s funny how travel plans can change overnight. Well, maybe not that funny; in humorous terms anyway. Sometimes I forget this is supposed to be a comedy!
The town of Collie has a coalfields museum.
I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here (reality television show).
Hi, it’s Greenygrey. Here’s the latest episode of Werewolf of Oz: Fantasy Travel by Google Maps, now available in all its wacky quest glory on Amazon.
6. GREY’S ANATOMY PLOT EXPOSED BY COLLIE TWINS
The barking grew louder as I continued toward town, and then Collie came into view through the hazy heat. I thought I’d take the hint and shapeshift into a collie; choosing a border shape from a surprisingly large choice. When I’d completed the shift, Grey’s anatomy had changed to black and white.
Famous Collies on the Edge of Town
As I reached Collie, a Shetland sheepdog rushed past carrying a lassie over its shoulders; it looked like a daring rescue was underway.
A babey pig then flew over my head squealing, ‘Fly – Fly’; followed by another border collie running along underneath.
Meeting the Collie Twins: Colin and Ollie
When I reached the edge of Collie I was met by a couple of dogs guarding the town entrance.
They asked who I might be,
I replied a border collie,
as it should be plain to see.
And who may thee be,
I did respondee.
The bearded one said their names were Colin and Ollie McNab: respected and renowned around these parts as the Collie twins. They said their mother is an Australian stumpy tail cattle dog collie, and their recently departed father was part McNab shepherd collie and part bearded collie.
I said it was a pleasure to make their acquaintance.
They apologised for putting me under scrutiny, before explaining that Collie was a big bun-mining town; supplying Bunbury with most of its buns. The benefits of living on top of such a bountiful basement were unfortunately a double-edged sword, as the bun bonanza also attracted desperados desperate to get their meddlesome mitts on the munchable minerals that can be moulded into muffins without needing a Midas touch.
Grey’s Anatomy Plot Exposed
The Collie twins sniffed around my person with sensitive security. I was a little nervous, and this escalated into panic when Colin asked how long I had been a collie.
I didn’t want to fib to such fine upstanding collies, so I explained my situation: how I had shapeshifted into a collie after hearing the barking and seeing the town was called Collie.
I waited with bated breath for the Collie response.
lassie – slang for female.
Grey’s Anatomy (TV series).
Babe (film about a pig).
Lassie (dog series and film).
Marc Latham’s latest Folding Mirror poem wonders why you’re reading this in the top half and then tries to answer the conundrum in the bottom half, based on his own experiences. Thanks to Zemanta for providing a couple of nice greenygrey photos. Here’s the poem:
Breathing Works Both Ways
why spend time in my lifework
in this age
of digital liberty,
when we all
have the means for creativity,
to write, draw, photograph, speak and sing
for reading, looking, observing, listening and pleasure
sometimes we have to absorb
what is around
outside the mind
to learn how
others perceive the world we share
Marc Latham’s central site is the Greenygrey (http://www.greenygrey.co.uk)
‘Many athletes win tournaments while believing in god; and perhaps that belief gives them an edge over their opponents. However, I doubt if any win through belief alone; without training.’
Martin ‘Werewolfie’ Adams
Hi, it’s Greenygrey here. We’re proud to say that Grey’s epic ramble around Oz is now up on Manic Readers. We’ve let our ghost-writer, Marc Latham, take the credit.
To celebrate, we have put the Werewolf of Oz big battle scene as a free doc on the home page of the Greenygrey website, while the arriving in Sydney poems are a free doc on the biography page.
Why Existence is Miracle Enough
We read a good article by Ben Gilliland in Monday’s Metro (May 21st, 2012), and thought we’d share some its wisdom with you; mainly because it had a kind of greenygrey theme.
Why Existence is Miracle Enough asked ‘Why do we need religion to see miracles in the world around us, or to find significance in our existence?’
We agree with this, and so does Marc Latham. It was the theme of one of his Folding Mirror poems in March 2011:
For God’s Sake
If there is a
it gave you
for love of
is that not enough
While a belief in a personal or cultural monotheistic god can be a comfort, and a motivator, it can also create divisions, prejudices and war.
Hi, it’s Susie Dentinfang, dictionary diva at the Greenygrey and Countdown to the Full Moon. While you are probably eager for completely new Greenygrey material, the recording of Greenygrey history can be a slow, laborious and painstaking task, so please bear with us.
New Greenygreyism similar to Seeing Wood for Trees
And it is very exciting news for us, and we hope it will be for you too. We think we have a new greenygreyism.
While Martin ‘Werewolfie’ Adams was an amazing sportswerewolf, and is a great sports correspondent, he’s not an etymologist. And he is the first to admit that when he used the phrase ‘not seeing the Green for the greenygrey’ in his recent post about goalie kits that he was unaware (not un-a-were) he was making Greenygrey history.
I can confirm that it was the first time the phrase ‘not seeing the green for the greenygrey’ has been used in the Greenygrey world. I have found a related phrase in the English language, which goes something like: ‘not seeing the wood for the trees’.
It is explained by our beloved free English dictionary as: ‘if someone can’t see the wood for the trees, they are unable to understand what is important in a situation because they are giving too much attention to details.’
Maybe Green’s greenygrey kit disguised the West Ham goalie so much that the Blackpool strikers spent too much time looking for details, such as aiming for the goalposts, but sent most shots wide; meaning they couldn’t see the goal for the posts, like the wood for the trees.
Werewolf of Oz poems in Tips for Writers
Secondly, an addition to the recent post about Grey’s Oz poems in Tips for Writers. Greenygrey admits just skimming through Tips before blogging that Tips 89 contained the Oz Flight poem, which is the opposite to not seeing the wood for the trees; more like not seeing the trees for the wood!
Turns out that after a closer look there are several Werewolf of Oz poems in it. Altogether there’s: Rainbow Valley Shropshire Lad, The Greycliffe House Mouse, Oz Flight, New Day, 3×4 and Tree to Sea.
Thanks to Tips for publishing them. They’re all available in the Werewolf of Oz, and will be blogged here over the next few months. Cheers.
Hi, it’s Martin ‘Werewolfie’ Adams, sports correspondent at the Greenygrey. A few months ago we declared the West Ham goalie’s kit as the most greenygrey in the English league. Their first-choice goalie is fittingly called Rob Green.
Greenygrey Helps Win Promotion for West Ham
While the goalie is only 1/11th of a football team, it is probably the most important position, with the most influence on winning or losing games.
How did the Greenygrey Win the Game for West Ham?
Blackpool had the most chances, but their finishing was mostly woeful, so maybe it was the greenygrey goalie outfit that turned their strikers into missers? Or maybe the ‘camouflage’ worked, and the Blackpool players couldn’t see Green for the greenygrey, and therefore couldn’t get their bearings on goal.
Whatever the reasons, the greenygrey did the business, and lets hope more goalies and teams choose greenygrey kits next season…
Hi, it’s Greenygrey. Here’s the next thrilling episode of our comedy-fantasy classic Werewolf of Oz; which is now available at Amazon and no other leading stores; all updated, with illustrative images, and the ingenious new flashback feature created by the Greenygrey’s one and only Andy Wolfhol.
5. TRAVELLING THE AUSTRALIAn OUTBACK like Kerouac
After awakening into a bright sunny morning I again heard the haunting howling lullabies that seemed to be sailing across the waves and straight down my lugholes.
Dolly and the other dolphins were heading out to open sea, so I wished them luck and bade them farewell before heading towards land.
Smell or Sound, Buns or Hound
My senses were thrown into chaos when I reached the shore.
From the north wafted an aroma that promised breakfast buns, while inland to the east there was a lyrical libretto lullaby that sounded like it could be a lapdog and Labrador rendition of Les Miserables.
This time, my canine curiosity won the decision of direction debate, and I made a scramble to ramble despite my belly grumbling an’ a rumbling.
I took my time as I headed across the South Western Highway. A snake slithering in the opposite direction reminded me of the floor rider in Florida that Green and I met on our North American ramble.
[Flashback to Greenygrey’s Rambles across North America: I was crossing a path, when an Eastern Diamondback Rattlesnake asked who I was; after I explained that I was the Greenygrey, and travelling across North America by land, air and sea, it said it was called Ernie, and it only rode the floor. We talked a little more after that, but nothing important enough to document here, before I headed back to the BEACH.]
There was no communication this time, and the barking of dogs from over the eastern horizon was the only sound that pierced the 360 degree silence.
An hour later, I reached a sign declaring Welcome to the Collie Town Limits. Was the dog sounding town the source of the hound sounds, and the solution to my canine conundrum?
Jack Kerouac (writer).
Les Miserables (musical).
Marc Latham’s latest Folding Mirror poem was inspired by thinking about celebrity and care workers. Both have pressures and responsibilities that can weigh heavily on the people involved, but there are usually greater rewards and temptations for those involved in the celebrity world. Here it is:
For Richer, For Poorer, In Life and In Death
feather falling down
trying to fly
is a MAMMOTH TUSK
deep in humanity’s haunches
rising up to mind
extinction is temptation, responsible for survival
if caring about life
carrying hopes of humans
is a GIGANTIC TASK
for those bearing
weight every day
Marc Latham’s central site is the Greenygrey (http://www.greenygrey.co.uk)